Hi @May20019,
Welcome to the forum lovely.
There is nothing that can prepare you for the shock and white hot fear of being told you have cancer. Your head and emotions are all over the place at the beginning. I think we all aknowledge the fact that "it could be worse" but that doesn't mean it's not a huge mortality check and scares the heck out of you.
Nobody can quite understand how you feel like someone who has been in there. The emotions that run from "I got this" to cloudy fog of despair and tears.
We understand where you're at.
xoxoxoxo