Hi @May20019. I was white hot with anger for three weeks, and then I sobbed for a month. I'm not joking. I cried multiple times a day. Never in front of the kids, but at any other moment, especially in the shower. I could have won a gold medal for Australia for crying. Ihave a particular back story (read my bio) that provided some extenuating circumstances, but I was a sensible 51 year old woman who previously didn't cry much.
My tears slowed down once chemo got underway, but let your tears flow. You are shocked, and grieving. However if you feel you're getting stuck in your grief, go and see a counsellor for a few sessions. It's good to talk things out.
What you are feeling now will pass. It's just a pity that we have to go through it to come out the other side. Big, big hug, K xox