Forum Discussion
Louise64
6 years agoMember
Newly diagnosed
Hi all, my mum had breast cancer at 50 and passed away after 20 year battle. I was diagnosed last week, surgeon appointment tomorrow, surgery booked already. I also had my first grandson last week, same day was having all my mammograms, ultrasound etc. Do I tell her as she is interstate or wait until closer to surgery date. I have my sister & brother supporting me as I live alone.I’ll know more when meet surgeon tomorrow. Dad is in 80s still debating when to tell him. My brother cried. My sister has had cancer, chemo etc so I know we are survivors!
34 Replies
- SisterMemberFriends can be amazing support but they can also be quite draining if all you're talking about is cancer. What worked for me, and it's not for everyone, was letting a couple of close friends tell everyone else but with the instructions that they weren't to call me - they were told I was hunkering down and that any info would be passed on. A few weeks later, I started a blog to update people. What this all meant was that I didn't have to make excuses for how I was feeling (and sometimes I really wasn't there if you know what I mean) but that I didn't feel like I was having to cope with their feelings all of the time. And I certainly felt the love as I was going through treatment - even calling in to work (like you, at a school), colleagues would make small remarks that showed me they were following my progress and were supportive but without weighing me down.
As for appointments, I retained some of what was said, but would somehow vague off for other things so it helped having someone else with me. I did, however, learn early on to write down any questions so that I would forget to ask. - kmakmMemberAdorable bubba!
My brain retained all the info quite well. My husband came with me to the first couple of appointments and after that I did it mostly on my own. We're all different. You do you! Best of luck with everything. K xox - AfraserMemberRecording is sensible - as is asking for information in writing, many oncologists can provide written information on treatment, side effects etc. Both are useful for checking later, explaining to others and so forth.
My partner came with me for my biopsy results and for my first meeting with my oncologist. I might have valued him being there for my first chemo, but I ended up having it in hospital anyway (nothing serious) so plenty of support! Otherwise I preferred to go on my own. I tolerated chemo pretty well, worked throughout and liked having some relatively quiet time on my own. Everyone’s different, the important thing is to do what you find best for you! - arpieMemberAnd even record your sessions on your phone - you can download a Voice Pro Record app ..... then you can go over it afterwards yourself, too, @Louise64. All the best xx
- Louise64MemberThank you - I’m in Brisbane-thank you for advice. I’ve done everything by myself last 3-4 weeks. Only told family and now friend living with breast cancer. Organised my leave for next term - so ready to go but will take someone from now on in
- ChezaHMemberLouise64 said:Thanks for all your kind words and support. I’m now less than 2 weeks to surgery as a teacher -I’m waiting for school holidays . My DCIS is intermediate-high grade It’s non invasive...so still feel a bit embarrassed I’m so worried when so many have faced much steeper challenges than me. Living alone gives you too much time to think. Also have only told 4 people so looking forward to holidays so I can relax. I am not looking forward to radiotherapy as have sun damaged skin. But thankful it’s early diagnosis. I seem to be making a lot of choices so quickly - but time is dragging.My grandson is gorgeous- so can’t wait to get back to see him in Canberra.Thank you again to all the brave people who make me feel I’m not alone 💕💕💕💕Hi Louise, Yes this site is amazing, and I have learnt so much from it, It does pay to do the research on what to ask your doctors etc, I had not had any experience in this area, and did not have a clue about it all, but I found the questions that I needed to ask before appointments. Take somebody with you to every single appointment and treatment if possible, as the brain does not retain it all, as you are going through so much. Where do you live, I am on the gold coast thought you might be close ?If you want to talk just send me a private message, as I found that it is good to speak to somebody else going through the same thing as you. It is reassuring !! Sending Hugs Cheryl xx
- LoisLoisMember@Louise64 - please do not ever feel embarrassed nor think your diagnosis is any less of a life changing event that others. YOU are undergoing a huge challenge. Noone ever sits in this forum and thinks "oh wow, she got off lightly!" every single one of us, understand the huge toll it takes on our emotions, life, job prospects, daily events, and most important who we are as a human being. YOU are BRAVE.
As to the mutliple decisions that need to be made on what seems a minute by minute basis - a good thing to do is take a diary or record information on your phone - if possible take someone with you to all your appointments. Take one day at a time - it will all fall into place as needed. Time does seem to drag especially while waiting for surgery!
I sincerely wish you a fast and easy recovery for the surgery and hopefully you will have someone to help care for you - I highly recommend this!!!
Big Hugs and remember - YOU ARE BRAVE!!!!!!!!!
Lois - Louise64MemberThanks for all your kind words and support. I’m now less than 2 weeks to surgery as a teacher -I’m waiting for school holidays . My DCIS is intermediate-high grade It’s non invasive...so still feel a bit embarrassed I’m so worried when so many have faced much steeper challenges than me. Living alone gives you too much time to think. Also have only told 4 people so looking forward to holidays so I can relax. I am not looking forward to radiotherapy as have sun damaged skin. But thankful it’s early diagnosis. I seem to be making a lot of choices so quickly - but time is dragging.My grandson is gorgeous- so can’t wait to get back to see him in Canberra.Thank you again to all the brave people who make me feel I’m not alone 💕💕💕💕
- LocksleyMemberCongratulations on your baby grandson. He is beautiful. Good luck for your surgery and treatment plan. Sending Hugs xxx
- LoisLoisMemberCongratulations on your baby grandson! Best of luck and big hugs for the surgery and what is to come. Lois