Hi I am Shann and newly diagnosed on the 6th September and waiting for results from a core biopsy.

@shann So glad you're doing much better ! Get it checked ! I got myself in a tizz in november thinking I had a recurrence , but it was scar tissue ,at least a mammogram & ultrasound put my mind at ease . Oncologist appt yesterday ,she was very happy & found nothing out of the ordinary thank heavens xx

Thank you so much ladies for all of your advise and information it is really helpful reading all the different things people have gone through and going through and decisions they have made. All the more information I can take with me to the surgeon next week.

Hi @shann. I am almost three months in to this horror, and the pressure to be the 'good patient' is palpable.My sister died from this bloody disease 20 months ago and I'm raising her two kids along with my two. My 85yo father-in-law moved in with us after his daughter died from a brain tumour in 2015. My husband works 60 hour weeks, 2 - 4 days a week of which is interstate. I have tremendous help and support from friends but the pressure on me to maintain a positive face to everyone is intense and immense. I cry when I'm on my own all the time.I try not to lay my sadness on my clinicians but it's hard and I don't always succeed. I feel like i have had all my choices taken away from me, and feel dismantled inside by the never ending blows. I DREAD the 'new normal' and am quailing at the mountain in front of me.It turns out the only place I can really let loose with my tears is at chemotherapy. One hour of sobbing the first dose, twenty minutes the second. The lovely NUM at the first dose said I was in a safe place and could cry all day if I needed to.I'm seeing a psychologist (community funded and so costs very little) and she is helping I think. She did the depression, anxiety and stress test on me. It said I was severely depressed, moderately anxious and severely stressed. No shit Sherlock... Currently mulling over the concept of anti-depressants.A very good friend conducted the study that proved that being positive has zero effect on cancer outcomes.Get help for the negativity if want/can. But don't let anyone tell you that what you are feeling is wrong or bad. Your feelings are YOUR feelings, no one else's and are in no way wrong. I am no expert but my psych tells me that one in three women with breast cancer get depressed, and that everything I am feeling is bog standard normal. Yes, in addition to everything else I am a cliché!Hang in there.Chemo 3 tomorrow. Will there be tears?! Probably...

its taken at while for me to feel ok in myself..... I used to wake after I have finished treatments in tears having woken up my kids(teens) with crying in my sleep I then began seeing a psychologist who said I had PTSD from my treatments. Now if I get very tired (note 5yrs later) I still will be crying in my sleep with no nightmares just crying... I accept these days that means I am struggling with processing this emotionally and that is a massive thing for us to go through. Hugs Soldiercrab

The pressure to feel positive and move forward is very real. I finished chemo nearly three weeks ago and start radiation in a week. Feel very lost in the pressure to feel 'positive and grateful'. Some days I am good, some days I am not so good and some days I am both good and bad! I swing through panic, sweats, sadness and a weird sort of numbness. It is overwhelming to process. I loved your comments SoldierCrab and it is comforting that you still have moments of crying. I feel I cry 'too much' but there is actually no rules. It is very much like processing through PTSD.

Newly Diagnosed | BCNA Online Network

shann
Member
6 years ago
Thank you SoldierCrab xx
SoldierCrab
Member
6 years ago

no wonderful advice just a cyber hug Shann <3
shann
Member
6 years ago
Hello All
Its been a while, as usual and I wish I was here with good news. Following from Jan I had 2 ultrasounds 6 weeks apart and on Mon had what was just suppose to be fine needle biopsies on either side as the lump I felt had turned into 5. The fine needle biopsy on left prooved to be just fluid. On the right (original cancer side) he did the fine needle went and did some test gave me more local and did a core biopsy and we all know the reason why we have a core biopsy, right!
Also (having a bad night) I lost my son in Feb and my daughters and parents are all fighting and I keep getting told its my fault cause I didn't do something or other. Sorry just venting and just need a physical hug but have no body for that. but as usual my feeling have to be pushed aside and just deal with it all. One day my family are going to put me in a loony bin cause I am going to have a major breakdown.
Thanks everyone for letting me vent. Love to all ! xx
shann
Member
7 years ago
Thank you all for replying. Had GP feel it and yes off to ultrasound to check it all out. He said it was smooth and round and was movable more than likely a cyst (with a name) but can't remember now. Off back to the hospital in Feb to see a new surgeon so hopefully that will be good and I might get yearly test done but no one seems to want to send me on any not even when I ask the gp. Strange.
Once again thanks for listening. xx
Blossom1961
Member
7 years ago
@shann Get it checked lovely lady so that there is no reason to worry. You have gone through enough with those incompetents not being able to help, don’t let this cause you more worry.
tigerbeth
Member
7 years ago
@shann So glad you're doing much better ! Get it checked !
I got myself in a tizz in november thinking I had a recurrence , but it was scar tissue ,at least a mammogram & ultrasound put my mind at ease .
Oncologist appt yesterday ,she was very happy & found nothing out of the ordinary thank heavens xx
melclarity
Member
7 years ago
@shann so is it where you had any excisions? I only ask as through both of my diagnosis I have gathered loads of scar tissue. My first lot was at the lumpectomy site. So you said not your cancer side? so did you have surgery on the other side? where the lump is? as the ladies said if in doubt get it checked out. I just had my yearly tests and I had lumps and they said its all scar tissue even on my not cancer side as I had a breast lift to match my recon side, so scars and lots of them both sides. x
kmakm
Member
7 years ago
@shann Could be scar tissue, could be something else. Go get it checked for peace of mind. K xox
SoldierCrab
Member
7 years ago
hi Shann go get it checked out girl that way it will give you peace of mind.
arpie
Member
7 years ago
Yep, any lumps, bumps, aches or pains - if in doubt, get checked out! Most likely nothing, but good 'to be sure'