Newly diagnosed

Hello @herplv - your feelings are exactly what we all went through in those early days so you are not alone. 
I see you are outside Melbourne but I don't know that area.  Do you know where you will go for treatment ?  Hopefully there will be ladies on here who live near you so they can give you some advice re local services etc.  You say you will be having a mastectomy - are you in the private or public hospital sector ?
Have you thought about reconstruction ?
Do you have a supportive partner or other family to attend appointments with you ?  Always a good idea as they can be a second set of ears when your mind is stuck elsewhere.
Make notes and take them with you to appointments.  We need to be our own advocates.
Be kind to yourself, take things one day at a time.  Cry if you feel like it as that is a good stress relief.
Come back and chat any time.  No question is too small or too silly.  💖

Tuesday - I have sent you a private message - you will see that at the top right of the screen near your profile picture where you log off.

@June1952... Yer my Dr has referred me to the Austin hospital and hoping to go with Dr Belinda Yeo. 
I am going public sector.
Reconstruction.... I am up in the air with asi have so many questions to ask. Me being 50 I am still young and I am weighing up pros and cons of both. Like if I have a mastectomy and no Reconstruction will I feel like I am only half a woman? If u get my drift! Like I know there s so much out there now, compared to 40 yrs ago. But I am sort of leaning towards a reconstruction, but no nipple... as I want to put a breast cancer tattoo... 😜😂. 
My partner is extremely supportive and is an emotional mess, but try's to hide his emotions. 
I do all my crying in the shower and blame the shampoo in the eyes... 😒🙄😢. 
My mum is 73 yrs old and is still around. I told her and she is emotional mess also, so I try and stay strong for everyone. 
I am an extremely strong person and try to not let things get too me, but occasionally it does and I hide it from people as I don't want family too think I am soft. But occasionally it does slip out. I also have quiet a few close friends who check up on me and see how I going.
I have a little note pad that I write thing on and it's always at nite as I not a good sleeper. I am usually still awake at 1am/230am in the morning and this is when I mainly write my questions down.
My dog who is 13 yrs old knew I had cancer before I did. He hasn't left my side since I bean this journey.

I have a question for u.... how did u feel after your biopsy? 

I myself have been extremely sore and bruised. Like I feel if they want too do another biopsy, which the nurse was saying the Dr may want too do a biopsy under the arm to check lymph nodes. After the one on the side of my breast I feel like just take lymph nodes out in operation regardless... cause the pain I am in is horrible. After 5 days I am still sore as, and been too my Dr for heavier pain meds. 
I just feel so tired.... it's just massive to push myself to keep positive and to just keep going. 🫤

Hi @herplv I am so sorry to hear about the diagnosis and everything you’ve going through ❤️. 
I hear you on the biopsy after effects, I did have a lot of soreness, swelling and bruising after the first one. When I went back for the second one the thoughtful ultrasound technician encouraged me to ask for more anaesthestic if it was too uncomfortable, rather than trying to be too stoic, so I did. I also was a bit wiser about putting an ice pack in the bra straight after and took Panadol before the procedure. 

Dear @herplv,

from jennyss in Western NSW

So sorry to see you join our select little group, @herplv .... it really is an emotional rollercoaster - and yes, the biopsy can be horrible too :(  I nearly hit the roof when the BANG happened - no-one had told me to expect that!  They had a few goes at one of mine as the needle was too fine to pick up specimens, so I was black & blue & very sore for weeks. :(  

Trying to be strong for everyone else may put more pressure on yourself xx   We've all done it tho.  

The Austin has a wonderful reputation - you will be well looked after there xx  

Feel free to check out this thread, that has a LOT of info in it about the forum & what to take to hospital with you .... how to 'self assess' yourself.
https://onlinenetwork.bcna.org.au/discussion/23477/a-big-welcome-to-all-our-new-members#latest

You can ring our hotline 1800 500 258 to chat with someone if you need to offload at any time .... or ask your GP or the Cancer Centre to refer you to a Counsellor .... you could also listen to Charlotte Tottman's Podcasts on her own breast cancer experience - she is a specialist Breast Cancer Counsellor - and her podcasts are VERY easy to listen to.  (Click on the block showing LOTS of podcasts (show 22) - and start on No 13, which is the FIRST one of Series One.  
https://soundcloud.com/search?q=charlotte%20tottman

You may also like to join the Private Choosing Breast Reconstruction Group and also the Flat Chat (No reconstruction) group, to get both sides of the debate .... remaining flat is usually a lot less recovery needed ... they have photos you can check out in both, too. xx
Click on any group you'd like to join, here:
https://onlinenetwork.bcna.org.au/groups

That's great that your partner is a good support for you - Be kind to yourself, take a trusted friend with you to all your early appointments as a second set of ears - and consider recording them on your phone, so you can go over them later on.  Also ask for copies of all your reports (biopsy/pathology/Onc appointments) and put them in a big box, so you know where they are when you want to check them out!!

take care & wishing you all the best xx

Hi @herplv there is already some great advice especially to listen to the podcasts, they are helping me. I can't imagine what you are going through as I only needed a lumpectomy, but the pain of the biopsy was awful. Make sure you have a good cry whenever you need it, its a great stress reliever and its no good to hold it all in as internal stress is worse. We are all here to support you even with just virtual hugs and kind words. 
Look after yourself first now, sending hugs ❤️

Hi @herplv
You have come to the right place on this forum.
We all “ get it” in a way someone who hadn’t had this diagnosis never will , no matter how empathetic they may be.
I had a double mastectomy with DIEP flap reconstruction - the reconstruction was delayed as I had to have 28 rounds of radiotherapy due to the size of my tumour.
It’s an emotional roller coaster and decisions about things like whether to have reconstruction and if so the type are difficult and extremely personal .
There is an emotional toll as well as a physical one.
i had a couple of sessions with a psychologist and the best advice was it’s ok to cry - I did a lot of crying in the first few weeks - including in the most random of places ( eg at the checkout in the supermarket).
I had a core biopsy of my breast and it was black and blue for a week ( I bruise easily).
I had a lot of bruising after the mastectomy - also a lot if pain - it’s important to take the painkillers they prescribe.
My reconstruction was not anywhere as painful as the mastectomy was .
Have a look at the private groups on reconstruction and staying flat - there are personal stories and photos on there that you will find helpful.
Take care.🌺

Hi @herplv like everyone on this network none of ever really expected to be here
All the above advise is spot on 
the one left off is DON’T DR GOOGLE
it does your head in. Unless you have a medical degree it full of out dated information. 

Hi @herplv, we have the sad distinction of being diagnosed on the same day. I had no idea it was coming as I had been recalled by the BreastScreen clinic after a routine mammogram (I turned 52 on Monday) only to get the news that day. Hang in there. It took me a while to have a cry but eventually had a big one the other night. It's the unknown that is the biggest stress for me. And telling people - exhausting. All the very best to you. 

Yer it took me a cpl of days to process and tell ppl... I still haven't cried, and yer the not knowing is the worst... I see my surgeon on the 22nd of may at 2pm.... my anxiety is off the charts, and physically feel sick with dread. 🥴