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Sister's avatar
Sister
Member
8 years ago

New here

Hi,  Although I dropped in on someone else's conversation the other day as I've been stalking these pages, I thought I should be brave and introduce myself.  I'm 54 with 3 kids, primary through to high school ages.  I had a breastscreen done 3 weeks ago, was recalled last Friday and diagnosed on Tuesday night with a 2.5cm lobular carcinoma in one breast.  My amazing GP got me in to see a surgeon on Wednesday afternoon and I'm looking at surgery just before Christmas for a probable lumpectomy and sentinel node removal, with the option of a second op if the surrounding tissue looks sus.  Of course, that depends on the results of the bone scans I had yesterday!  I have to admit that I'm veering between absolute terror and despair, and numbness and denial, while still trying to show positive for the kids.  It's the first time in my life that I don't want to face people - I've told a couple of friends (by phone) and asked them to tell other people, and my husband is fielding any phone calls.  I think that if the bone scans come out clear, I'll be able to function better but if they don't, I'm worried that I'm just going to fall apart.  While I'm hearing all of the professionals tell me positive things, I find it hard to really believe them as personal experience with my sister years ago tells me the opposite.  We lost her to this in 1999.

I'm sorry, guys - this was supposed to be a sane (and light-hearted?) introduction but I can see it's turned into something else.  I think I needed to say it, though.  And I think many of you have probably been here.

By the way, I've realised that my username paints a picture of a highly politicised feminist and while I have nothing against that, it wasn't my intention.  All of the good usernames had been taken so the one I chose was because I was feeling a particular affinity with my sister at that moment.

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  • Sister's avatar
    Sister
    Member
    8 years ago
    Thanks so much, everyone.  I know that I'll be turning back to this site again and again.  And I'll keep reminding myself to breathe... and try to get on with life in the meantime.
  • SoldierCrab's avatar
    SoldierCrab
    Member
    8 years ago
    hi @Sister
    I am going to give you some links to resources available 
    https//www.mcgrathfoundation.com.au/OurMission/OurNurses/FindANurse.aspx  A breast Care Nurse. 

    My Journey kits and my care kits https//www.bcna.org.au/resources/

    On reading your post I immediately thought you had called yourself "sister" in reference to your sister. 

    It is scary at this stage where you don't know what lies ahead like @Afraser said  things have changed heaps since 1999. even in the last few years things are completely different with how Breast Cancers are treated and the survival rates are so much better. 

    Breathe..... 
    It's Okay to be afraid to try to hide the fear from the children there are some great resources for kids also at the Cancer Council website. 

    we understand and get the stress and fear ... feel free to come and rant,cry while typing to us.... 
    I found the shower a great place to have a cry. 

    hugs 
    Soldiercrab

  • Mrs_H1's avatar
    Mrs_H1
    Member
    8 years ago
    Hi @Sister, welcome to the club no one wants to be part of. As I’m sure you’ve seen the other club members are wonderful for advice, reassurance and a listening ear. Not knowing is hard but there will be an overload of information shortly. Take each day (or hour at times) as it comes. Jen xx.
  • Zoffiel's avatar
    Zoffiel
    Member
    8 years ago
    Hey @Sister welcome aboard our creaky little boat. Most of us start out literally paddling for our lives which is absolutely exhausting. On any day there will be a couple in danger of falling overboard, there will be robust discussions about navigation and someone will be asleep in the hammock. Excuse the nautical references, I have no idea where that came from. Never mind. Welcome anyway.

    I've had a history of being in the middle of some cancer catastrophe or other over Xmas on a couple of occasions. You'd think I would have learned not to do that, but apparently not. You' will muddle through somehow, we all have.  Reluctantly, sometimes, but what else can you do?

    Good luck with the scans and surgery. I've got lobular BC as well, it's a shit of a thing.

    Be kind to yourself. Marg. Xx
  • Afraser's avatar
    Afraser
    Member
    8 years ago
    I managed to lose my hair for Christmas five years ago - I know I don't do
    much for Christmas but that was ridiculous! Diagnosis is a fraught time - so much fear, so much uncertainty and in your case so much to remember. Try and concentrate on the improvements that have been made in nearly 20 years - heavens, there has been so much in the last five years. You will cope - more information, even if it's not ideal, takes away some of the uncertainty. Then you know what needs to get done and can concentrate on that. In the meantime, relieve as much other pressure as you can. Don't talk to people unless you want to - the caring ones will understand. Let your family look after you a bit. I'm an atheist who takes a perverse delight in reminding people that Christmas is about a religious belief in new hope. Keep that hopeful light burning - many of us get through this. 
  • June1952's avatar
    June1952
    Member
    8 years ago
    Hi @Sister
    Welcome to this exclusive club of wonderful ladies who will be here to support you through whatever is to come.
    Give yourself a break and let it out as you need to - we all understand and help where we can.  We have all travelled a different road but we are still here for you.
    Please try not to concentrate too much on the loss of your sister at the moment as the diagnosis and treatments have come a long way since then.  Listen to your medical team as they know your specific issue and the best way to attack it - and attack it they will.  After all, they want you to live a long life as much as you do.
    Keep on checking in as you will find lots of friends to vent with !
    Hugs  Summer   :)

  • Sister's avatar
    Sister
    Member
    8 years ago
    I'm sure we'll muddle through Christmas - it'll be just us as the extended family will be at the beach and I don't think that's likely to be possible for me post-op.  My kids are pretty good at pitching in when needed so no doubt there will be something edible  :-) as long as someone else cleans up the mess!
  • Brenda5's avatar
    Brenda5
    Member
    8 years ago
    Hi and welcome. I was diagnosed two years ago at 53 and while I didnt return to the same as I was, I am okay. I am thinking with your christmas is it possible for someone else in the family to host the dinner bit, or let the older kids have a bash at it? They might not do things quite how you like it but now is the time for them to get that confidence in hosting family gatherings. I have two older boys and while cooking isnt their forte, decorations aren't bad. Rest easy over Christmas and start a diary. It is interesting to read back through it in years to come. <3