I managed to lose my hair for Christmas five years ago - I know I don't do
much for Christmas but that was ridiculous! Diagnosis is a fraught time - so much fear, so much uncertainty and in your case so much to remember. Try and concentrate on the improvements that have been made in nearly 20 years - heavens, there has been so much in the last five years. You will cope - more information, even if it's not ideal, takes away some of the uncertainty. Then you know what needs to get done and can concentrate on that. In the meantime, relieve as much other pressure as you can. Don't talk to people unless you want to - the caring ones will understand. Let your family look after you a bit. I'm an atheist who takes a perverse delight in reminding people that Christmas is about a religious belief in new hope. Keep that hopeful light burning - many of us get through this.