Just home from treatment newly diagnosed

Thinking of you today @Bowie

How are you feeling today @Bowie?

BOWIE

How are you going?  We are all checking in on you?  You can do this...X 

Hey @Bowie Sorry am a bit slow at the moment am recovering from a Single mastectomy/Diep flap recon, but 2 weeks on and doing GREAT! You remind me of me when my journey began 6yrs ago, although I was in yearly mammos since late 30's as my Mum had breast cancer I never thought I would get it. I was 6 months into my new life with my kids 11 & 13. It was tough, I worked though full time and as I was early I only had Rads and Tamoxifen but 2015 a recurrence in my lumpectomy scar so 4.5 months of chemo and now 15 months post chemo YAY!! but the mastectomy is due to recurrence and not wanting to gamble again. Its been a horrendous journey...but I wanted to share an overview of like all of us here...we have been where you are, we have lived and felt every single emotion possible and then some more. TO know it is so incredibly normal and to know we all GET YOU is what this forum is all about. The love, support and encouragement you will find here is like nowhere else. I say that as I travelled my journey alone and it was only after my recurrence and treatment I joined the Site! Boy I wish I found it sooner!! There will be days we will and can carry you when you feel you cant face it. In a sense it is like the stages of Grieving with a diagnosis, and the best thing I can say to you is, validate every little thing you feel, the sadness, the anger all of it, its the only way by acknowledging and allowing yourself to feel is to move through each part of it. My experience has taught me that I had no control and that was a tough one...it will be dictated, so having a team you can trust is paramount. Only surround yourself with people who really care and not just say it. This will set all friends and family apart. One day, one step at a time...is all you need to do..because it is overwhelming when you project without knowing. The biggest of hugs to you, I never thought I would have gotten through this journey, but Im here to TELL YOU, you will rise like you never have and you will learn things about yourself. Love and nurture YOU every step. Melinda xo

I know about the anger part. For me going on a long walk helped. I mean loooonggg. Only trouble was, then I had to walk all the way back home again lol. Oh well, at least sore feet and legs took my mind of the breast for a while. I couldn't really look at mine for a long time either, apart from just a brief check to  make sure there was no infection. One year on and its a part of me now and its amazing how used to it you can get with time. Hang in there Bowie, step by step, you will make it too. <3

Thankyou to you all,for your lovely kind words and reassurance ..l am lost .l am scared .and then l movements of such anger l hare everything and everyone ....I am grateful l have all your support ..all don't have much support personally ...Love to all of you and huge haggles ..love love love xxx

Hi Bowie,

Welcome. Sending you big virtual hugs. We all know exactly how you're feeling.....and in time, you will be able to adjust to the new you and the new situation and you'll be surprised and proud of the resilience you have shown yourself. It's so hard, at first, to actually compute: what? I've got cancer? WTF! But then, the treatment plan is put in place and you find resources you never thought you had.

And of course, you're not alone - we're here :)

I know it's almost impossible to believe at this stage but there will come a day when this will be in the past, you will have done things you never thought you could and you will be amazed at what you got through. Don't push yourself to do anything much at the moment (that includes crying!), there's no right or wrong. One step at a time sounds infuriatingly slow (we all want it to end!) but it's the best way to go. Before you know it, you will have taken many steps and will be more confident about the next ones. Keep as occupied as possible so you don't spent too much time overthinking. Do at least one thing a day that gives you pleasure. There will always be someone to listen on this site. Deep breathing helps. Take care.

Bowie, Ne is right in what she writes, none of this will make sense, we here all get it, no one else will.  My sister said to me you've had your lumpectomy and now (radiation) is just a treatment.  She was cold and matter of fact, halfway through radiation she sends me a txt messsge saying how u going xx what no phone call...that's wrong.  Im on my own and when I was told by a breast screen Dr that I have cancer and look up the Internet for a surgeon, it's all a bit overwhelming.  

I've balled my eyes out a lot, the radiation doorbells kept sending me off but eventually I got used to it, some people cry some don't.  I called BCNA and was hysterical I'm ashamed to say, I was lost, but as I've moved along this journey I've had a lot of trained people around me to see me through.  It's tough.  It's a shock, but you can do it...sometimes it's ok to be on your own because you can do things that you want like nap, watch tv, you need one person that you can tell 40 things to and not 40 people that you can tell one thing to...know that you are allowed to think and feel the way you do.  BCNA can find you real people to talk to in your area if you ask them.  At the moment focus on now and not the future...

@Bowie we all want to stick our head in the sand that is part of the shock... we all go through different emotions at different times....I didn't cry until treatment was over. Others can't stop crying in the early stages.... it's okay you are acknowledging your own emotions even although you aren't crying right now. We are a supportive forum with many varied men and women who all have breast cancer at the core of being here. Please feel safe to vent, rant laugh or cry with us we get you... Hugs and energy to get through today❤️