Just diagnosed

Hi @JenPritchard I have the same diagnosis as you, even the same 4.5cm lump. Also spread to my lymph nodes but body tests came back clear. Only had to remove part of my breast even though the tumor was large and got clear margins. Being hormone positive is a really good sign as my Dr said the Chemo is designed to work best with this type. I had a bad reaction to Chemo but that's just me and apparently rare so I'm sure you will tolerate it better. Please feel positive about the future as once the treatment has been completed, our type of cancer has a very high success rate for a cure. I hope you can lean on your husband for the days your not feeling so great but its important to remember (I just learnt this) that you feel better each day once that first week is over and almost back to normal half way through. It's very doable once you get over the fear of the unknown. Don't have children, so have to leave to others to advise on that. Lot of love and hugs coming your way. Be strong.

Dear @JenPritchard , best wishes from  jennyss in Western NSW

Hi Jen, I am one of the cancer nurses working on the BCNA helpline and we also moderate the online network. You have already received some valuable information from the crew on the network. I wondered if anyone in your medical team had mentioned the Cancer Council publication Talking to kids about cancer? You can download the PDF version, order a hard copy or just select the relevant sections from the Cancer Council website. It has some really useful information about specific developmental stages, and the words and concepts that kids will relate to. I’ve had great feedback from people about it. Best wishes with everything and remember you can call and speak to a cancer nurses or helpline officer if you would like further information or support by calling 1800 500 258 Mon - Fri 9-5pm until until 9pm on Tuesday and Thursday (Victorian time). 

Hi there im same age as you 41 with 5 kids im grade 3 stage 2a her2+ i was diagnosed in October last year and had a lumpectomy in Dec. Ive got dcis on all margins still, so im having a masectomy with recon in six months and starting chemo soon seeing oncologist tuesday. My husband is taking time off to look after kids and me, i think keeping in routine helps with playgroups and school activities etc ,ive let the other mums know so there's no surprises, i live in a small island community so where all pretty honest around here ☺.theres also mummyswish.org.au that can help with some extra support. 
Best wishes to and your family. .
Kirstie.

@JenPritchard the waiting game is the WORST. You will feel empowered once you start some sort of treatment and fear slowly gives way to strength and drive to kick it's butt. Not saying facing treatments isn't scary AF, but once the 'what ifs' are off the table, you can deal with the 'what is'.

Hi everyone. Thank you so much for your responses. Connecting with you is helpful. My appointment is tomorrow to decide the course of action. I’m really struggling, waiting for this, finding out it is worse than initially thought. It’s hard to eat, sleep and focus on anything else. Let alone my three little girls. I feel like I’m in a nightmare and can’t wake up. I made contact with the breast care nurse on Friday. An angel.

Welcome @JenPritchard.  It's a shock, isn't it?  And believe me, everytime you think you're on top of it, each new step seems to throw you but the important thing is to look at it step by step.  I was diagnosed at the beginning of December with lobular carcinoma.  Since then I've gone from thinking it was a 2.5cm tumour with no node involvement to 2 surgeries later, a 4.5cm tumour without clear margins and 3 nodes involved.  No sooner come to terms with that and I'm having to prepare for chemo. But you do get through it and the community here are wonderful.  With regards to your kids, my advice is to be as honest as their ages allow.  They will know things are wrong and secrets are often scarier than the truth.  My kids are a bit older with the youngest being 11 but I have told them that I will tell them the truth as I know it but not the whatifs.

Hi @JenPritchard my kids were 1 & 4 at diagnosis. My partner was basically not much help at all. I had support from my sisters a bit during chemo, but mostly I got through on my own. I coped! And so will you. I found incredible motivation and drive to keep life as normal as possible for my kids. It was hard, but kept me active and away from self pitty during treatment. Honestly, my kids barely flinched. They were fine and by taking each day as it came, so was I. I'm very proud of myself for enduring what I have. You will have some bad, dark days but it will be okay, you'll see.

I have a 2 year old. She is surprisingly very clued on. The hardest thing was when my hair started falling out she would get it in her mouth if I had cooked and would be like “I’m eating mummy’s hair”, we explained that mummy hair was falling out and she asked if her own hair was going to fall out...
we have told her that mummy is not feeling well and needs to rest so can’t play as long etc and she grumbles but then says “mummy not well mummy needs cuddles” it was difficult when I got my port put in as she was going through a clingy mummy week but we showed her my bandage and said mummy is sore and can’t lift you and you need to be gentle and after a couple of reminders she started asking daddy to pick her up. She still not says “mummy sore and tries to look at my port”. 
I do feel guilty that I simply don’t feel well enough to play with her like I feel I should but at the end of the day I need to rest and get better so I can be there in the long run.
all the best x

Hi,

I’m 41 too. Hormone and her2 positive. Similar size tumour. 2 positive of 9 nodes removed. I have a 5 year old. I’m just coming out the other side of chemo- 3 weekly treatments to go. Then on to radiation/tamoxifen and continuing herceptin until November.

Happy to invox/message if you would like.

x