@spiv1803 I think you actually said it all, whether its your partner or anyone in your life, they just can't possibly understand the depth of what you are going through, for so many reasons. There seems to be quite a few things at play as you have said, the hardest being that your life together was a certain way, then all of a sudden due to diagnosis and treatment your life is changing but his isn't, not in the way that yours is. Whether its through illness or other things in life, no matter the relationship it is hard when 1 persons direction is changed through want or not, and so you are both left to navigate through the new path. Its not easy at all, but I guess communication is everything for both of you...you'll get there.
I've been down this road twice, the 2nd diagnosis I was only in a new relationship 6 months, 3 yrs later he's still here lol. He is less than perfect absolutely...but he stood by my side every inch of the way, great at so many things and some not so much. I learnt to lean elsewhere such as a close friend for what I felt I couldnt get.
I was married for 13 years, to everyone the perfect marriage and pigeon pair kids, home etc., he was great in so many ways but emotionally didn't know how, so my cracks were there. My Mum died suddenly in 2009 and he'd never experienced loss, I also had to be there for everyone else that I had no time to grieve. Our paths at that point became very different through it all, I felt incredibly unsupported that no matter how I tried I couldnt find the path back to what we used to be.
So I guess I'm saying all relationships are hard but its just about finding your way through it all, redefining it as it goes along...he sounds like he does do a great job and I totally get your frustration when he drinks. Communication is everything however you find the way directly or professionally.
Hang in there,
Hugs Melinda xo