Partners
Has anyone elses partners been less than sympathetic during this fd up journey? Mine is great, but when he's been drinking he turns into an argumentative person. I am just trying to keep my stress ...
Forum Discussion
Some people think true feelings are spoken when people are drunk...but this can't be further from the truth for many.
Everyday we have thoughts pop into our heads that we sort and dismiss. If we were out and saw someone in some hideous outfit we might think...oh that looks revolting...like mutton dressed up as lamb...would we say it?...ummm no.
We might think ...oh I could just slap you in the face for what you just said...but we don't.
Hundreds of thoughs pop through our heads in any given hour and we sort, sift and dismiss lots.
But alcohol...yes alcohol...firstly it's a depressive, a disinhibiter and the wonderful filter is temporarily disengaged. So any stupid thought that pops in there just blurts out...especially if a lot is consumed.
Men in general are terrible at expressing fears and worry. They think there job is to fix it and when they can't they feel hopeless and insecure. But would they talk about it...uh no. My husband is somebody who like routine. Right down to regular meals. When I'm not well...whether that be depression, work stress or breast cancer...his world is tipped upside down. His safe life of knowing I will be home at this time mostly, that dinner will be ready, the house will be looked after and that I am happy is threatened. He doesn't know what to do and how to fix it. My husband spends money at these times. He is unaware of it. It is just what he does.
So people cope differently. It's not easy for you though putting up with it. If the drinking is frequently it may be his way of coping. However it might be something you need to talk about when sober. Tell him about his behaviour and it's impact on you. Ask him if he is okay. Maybe he would benefit from a counsellor to discuss fears. My husband saw one during my treatment.
Anyway lots to think about. Take care. Kath x
Everyday we have thoughts pop into our heads that we sort and dismiss. If we were out and saw someone in some hideous outfit we might think...oh that looks revolting...like mutton dressed up as lamb...would we say it?...ummm no.
We might think ...oh I could just slap you in the face for what you just said...but we don't.
Hundreds of thoughs pop through our heads in any given hour and we sort, sift and dismiss lots.
But alcohol...yes alcohol...firstly it's a depressive, a disinhibiter and the wonderful filter is temporarily disengaged. So any stupid thought that pops in there just blurts out...especially if a lot is consumed.
Men in general are terrible at expressing fears and worry. They think there job is to fix it and when they can't they feel hopeless and insecure. But would they talk about it...uh no. My husband is somebody who like routine. Right down to regular meals. When I'm not well...whether that be depression, work stress or breast cancer...his world is tipped upside down. His safe life of knowing I will be home at this time mostly, that dinner will be ready, the house will be looked after and that I am happy is threatened. He doesn't know what to do and how to fix it. My husband spends money at these times. He is unaware of it. It is just what he does.
So people cope differently. It's not easy for you though putting up with it. If the drinking is frequently it may be his way of coping. However it might be something you need to talk about when sober. Tell him about his behaviour and it's impact on you. Ask him if he is okay. Maybe he would benefit from a counsellor to discuss fears. My husband saw one during my treatment.
Anyway lots to think about. Take care. Kath x