Partners

Resentment and denial don't just beset the person with cancer. It can take us years (literally) to reset the new normal - so it's hard too for a partner, however sympathetic, who isn't going through it to adjust. The person with cancer is also (perfectly reasonably) focussed on self. When my partner got early bowel cancer a few years after my bc, I was bemused by his earnest descriptions of his side effects - all as revelations - apparently unaware of the similar side effects (but worse!) that I had had! You gotta be there to understand. His confusion just gets more apparent when his feelings are loosened by alcohol. I agree with Molly001, avoid discussions when he has been drinking, but you might talk to him another time about who he talks to about his own confusion and stress. Best wishes.