@lovemelrose I think this period that you're going through is the hardest. I remember veering between despair and numbness. Once the treatment actually starts, you should find that you are a bit more centred. Maybe still very scared and anxious but the out of control kind of feeling should settle a bit. Your job now is to manage your health and well-being as best you can - it can be difficult with young children (and I guess by the nappy comment, you've got at least one very young one). It's very hard to stay away from Dr Google but I would advise it, too. There are a few good sites out there - mostly ones that are similar to this. Remember that a lot of what you may read when googling is based on old data and stats. Breast cancer treatment has come a long way in a short time and I believe that is extra true for triple negative.
You may wish to join the young women's closed group on this forum. Take care.