Please don’t google. It just terrifies you and right now the shock and fear are overwhelming enough without Dr Google putting His bit in.
I just want to reassure you that this part - this early horrifying part - will settle down and you will feel normal again. We all understand the initial terror - many of us are younger( some very young) and have young families who need us. We panic and wonder how we will ever get through the confusion, the sleepless nights and the constant fear. But we do, and in time we accept and go forward. You are in the best country in the world ( a little biased I know) and treatment options are very good. Take one day at a time and try not to overwhelm yourself with stuff that’s out of your control.
My oncologist told me recently that my job is to eat good food and exercise and leave the rest to her. That was helpful because those things I can do.
Sending a massive hug - you can do this xx