Letting go of blame - WHY did I get cancer?
I've just listened to BCNA's excellent podcast: What you don't know until you do, and one of the comments there made me want to share something that might bring comfort to anyone wondering “Why me?” ...
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The best answer I ever got for my question 'Why?' (not 'Why me?') was from my surgeon's nurse - 'because you're postmenopausal and have breasts'. And no, you don't need to be postmenopausal either!
The stats are a good reason why the 'Why me?' question is increasingly irrelevant too - why not? I wonder how many men with prostate cancer ask the question? Some cancers are heavily linked with triggers - to the point that they may constitute causes, but many are not. Some of course are genetic - but, as in my case, many women who get breast cancer have no history of cancer at all in their siblings, parents or grandparents.
We ask because we think somehow an answer makes it easier to accept - it doesn't really and there's always someone with a really loopy theory! Or that something we did (or didn't) caused the cancer. Statistically that may include getting older - not something we actually want to change!
Treatment is steadly developing (not necessarily more pleasant, but often more effective) and I have always found the following helpful - 'Don't look back, you are not going that way'. Best wishes.