Heartbroken, but unbroken
We have just been hit with a TNBC diagnosis. My wife is 44 and we have two young kids. Our world's been turned upside down. There's so much raw emotion and the sense of grief that we all know all too...
Forum Discussion
Hello @strongtogether. When you see the oncologist you'll be given lots of info. Ask for the acronym of your wife's chemotherapy regime. It might be AC-T. Once you know, you can use the search bar here to find out more information.
At the stage you guys are at now, it's important to remember that no one gets all the side effects! Most people don't even vomit these days, so good are the meds. Some people even work through chemo.
Once you're through the horror that is diagnosis, it's the not knowing that's most unpleasant. Once there's a treatment plan you start to feel better, and then once treatment is underway you get into a rhythm. Chemo is no parts of fun but it's important to know that while it's grotty, it's doable.
Just a word of caution about the private health system. I went this route, without thinking much in the blur of the diagnosis at the start. I am significantly out of pocket as a result. Especially be careful round radiation therapy. Some people have been known to have five figure bills. You can have a mix of private and public care. Ask ask ask until you're truly clear about the costs and your options.
What part of the country are you? And how old are your kids? I have four. It's a very complex situation here (read my bio) so I've had quite a time of it with them. Trust your instincts, give them age appropriate information, and check in regularly. It's easy to disappear into the diagnosis, become an expert, and forget that kids process slowly and will have questions 'later'. Circle back regularly with a "now do you have any questions about mum?" In the car is a good spot, especially with boys. They don't always like eye contact!
And when chemo starts you'll probably be inundated with food. My kids loved coming home from school to see what treats had been delivered!
The three Cs of cancer treatment when you have kids: communication, cuddles and cake/chocolate!
Please tell your wife from me that I have never felt so loved as when I was going through chemo.
Try not to Dr Google. I know, easier to type than do! Start with the BCNA website if you have questions. They have some excellent fact sheets. Macmillan in the UK is good as well. It's wise to remember that a lot of data on the internet is old, and that Australia (and Finland) have the best survival rates in the world. There's a lot of breast cancer research and so it is relatively fast moving.
That's probably enough for now! Please look after yourself as well as your wife. I had to give my husband a stern talking to along the lines of 'I'm not going through all this treatment to have you drop dead of a stoke '!
One day at a time. The biggest of hugs to you all, K xox
At the stage you guys are at now, it's important to remember that no one gets all the side effects! Most people don't even vomit these days, so good are the meds. Some people even work through chemo.
Once you're through the horror that is diagnosis, it's the not knowing that's most unpleasant. Once there's a treatment plan you start to feel better, and then once treatment is underway you get into a rhythm. Chemo is no parts of fun but it's important to know that while it's grotty, it's doable.
Just a word of caution about the private health system. I went this route, without thinking much in the blur of the diagnosis at the start. I am significantly out of pocket as a result. Especially be careful round radiation therapy. Some people have been known to have five figure bills. You can have a mix of private and public care. Ask ask ask until you're truly clear about the costs and your options.
What part of the country are you? And how old are your kids? I have four. It's a very complex situation here (read my bio) so I've had quite a time of it with them. Trust your instincts, give them age appropriate information, and check in regularly. It's easy to disappear into the diagnosis, become an expert, and forget that kids process slowly and will have questions 'later'. Circle back regularly with a "now do you have any questions about mum?" In the car is a good spot, especially with boys. They don't always like eye contact!
And when chemo starts you'll probably be inundated with food. My kids loved coming home from school to see what treats had been delivered!
The three Cs of cancer treatment when you have kids: communication, cuddles and cake/chocolate!
Please tell your wife from me that I have never felt so loved as when I was going through chemo.
Try not to Dr Google. I know, easier to type than do! Start with the BCNA website if you have questions. They have some excellent fact sheets. Macmillan in the UK is good as well. It's wise to remember that a lot of data on the internet is old, and that Australia (and Finland) have the best survival rates in the world. There's a lot of breast cancer research and so it is relatively fast moving.
That's probably enough for now! Please look after yourself as well as your wife. I had to give my husband a stern talking to along the lines of 'I'm not going through all this treatment to have you drop dead of a stoke '!
One day at a time. The biggest of hugs to you all, K xox