Forum Discussion

SDA46's avatar
SDA46
Member
2 months ago

Along time between

My last 'run in' with Breast Cancer was at 57 WAY back in 2003, when I was diagnosed with Ductal Carcinoma in situ, in the left breast, followed by lumpectomy, radiation and tamoxifen. It was almostllike  a non event so much as experiences go. I felt like a 'fake' cancer sufferer, given the few symptoms that I experienced.  That same year a diagnosis of cervical CA popped up, followed by a total hysterectomy. SInce then NOTHING. Well almost nothing, until my darling middle daughter was diagnosed with DC at the age of 45. Following surgery, she underwent radiation and chemo etc. I found sharing her journey was so much more challenging than living my own. I guess no mother want to see their children have to deal with negative 'stuff'. She is now 7 years down her journey and so far so good. 

After all those years of no results on my mamagrams, I have just been diagnosed with grade 2 lobular ca in the right breast. I had only just undergone a left shoulder replacement revision, and was looking forward to life after no more shoulder pain! Because of the shoulder surgery I could no get my arm up for the mamagram, so I had an ultrasound instead. I remember looking at the 'black'  space on the screen as the operator kept rolling back and forwards over it and thinking 'WHat are you, you horrible black thing".  Anyway following the core biopsy and finally a mamogram I am now about to have MRI and PET scans prior to surgery in about 4 weeks. 

I have been caught by huge suprise, disbelief, bewilderment, a roller coaster of emotions ranging from I am OK with this to how will I tell my girls to I am not ok with this and lots more wildly swinging feelings from feeling ambivilent to anxious, to wanting to put my head under a pillow and wrap myself up in a doona. Now I am getting my head around what is this lobular thing, to here we go again to aren't I lucky they found it to what if.... 'IT' has spread.

 

anxiety

3 Replies

  • Tri's avatar
    Tri
    Member
    2 months ago

    Hi SDA46 I am so sorry about your diagnosis. You have certainly been on a roller coaster with the disease over the years and now this. I am sending lots of virtual hugs. I can only imagine how blindsided this must feel after you’ve been in a more or less good space all these years. But you’ve come to the right place as there will be others here who have been through the challenges of receiving information about recurrence. 
    There’s a lot of good resources in the form of podcasts on the BCNA network but perhaps a good first step would be their helpline just to unpack and talk through things. A referral from your GP to a breast cancer nurse might also be helpful. 

    I was diagnosed two years ago and completed my treatment for Invasive Lobular Cancer. Although ILC is often described as showing up as cells in a single file (like a “string of pearls”), mine presented as both the classic single string and a lump. There’s a group for ILC on the BCNA network you could join. 

    My breast cancer was caught early, I had chemotherapy then surgery (a lumpectomy) and then chemotherapy/immunotherapy again. Your treatment regime may not be the same, as you will know our cancer subtypes influence the treatment and in my case I was HER2+ Oestrogen positive and Progesterone positive (aka Triple Positive). 

    There may be others who have had your experience of caring for a child, or others in their family, with a cancer diagnosis. That worry (of how the news is received) feels understandably like an extra layer of concern for you but I do hope you might be able to prioritise your care and support needs. 
    Sending you lots of positive energy and best wishes as this unfolds. 

    • SDA46's avatar
      SDA46
      Member
      2 months ago

      Thank you for your kind response, it is much appreciated.   I will certainly join the ILC group on the network.  I am so grateful to you for the positive energy coming my way.  When I had my previous run in with breast cancer, I reached out to Petrea King's 'Quest for Life' organisation, which was extremely helpful at the time.  I was living in the Southern Highlands and they are based at Bundanoon - very handy!. I actually participated in one of their 'Spirited Women' week long live in sessions, which was awesome.   I loved Petrea's  lovely idea of sending the colours of the rainbow to a fellow sufferer, supporter, family member etc.  My daughters and I all have bracelets made of beads in every colour of the rainbow, that we can touch and feel connected to each other at any time. 

      • Tri's avatar
        Tri
        Member
        2 months ago

        Oh that’s a gorgeous idea - to have a physical reminder that you’re connected! Thanks for sharing that suggestion.