Forum Discussion
Wondering if this will ever be over
Not a good day today. I had a lumpectomy on Monday and went back to see the surgeon today only to find out that one of the margins was not great enough so am now scheduled for another surgery on the 5th January. Was so hoping that at least this part of the treatment was over as I have already had 6 months of chemo. Still have to have radiation as well but thought the worst of the treatment would be done. I just want my life back - I am so sick of the constant doctors appointments and it always feels like one step forward 10 steps back again. So not a very Merry Christmas for me. Sorry I know I am feeling sorry for myself but sometimes it just gets too much.
70 Replies
- @SuzyG I see you arent a candidate for immediate reconstruction?? Thats what I had done.
If not radiation is Chemo an option to then make you a reconstruction candidate??
I had a diep flip done at the same time at the mastectomy, yes a long surgery but I recovered fine & was back at work in 3 weeks. & now, I will be in a an aged care facility wearing nappies being fed & dribbling BUT I will still have perky boobs!!!
Every cloud has a silver lining, you just need to look for it & yes, sometime that is hard but..... a glass is better than 1/2 full than 1/2 empty any day to me.. - Does this also suggest you can't have the expanders?
- Hi Iserbrown surgeon can't do reconstruction as I have to have radiation otherwise I would have taken that option. So it would be 12 months after radiation before I could even look at reconstruction. Then the surgeon told me it is a big operation. Yes have access to nurses but it's how I feel about it.
- Hi Suzy - crumbs you are having a time of it! There are a lot of us on here who have had a mastectomy; I am one of them. Some of us haven't had reconstruction and some have. The big picture here is being rid of the cancer. What you need to get your head around now is:
- what are your options after mastectomy, ask lots of questions of the surgeon and the oncologist. Me, I had immediate reconstruction, expanders put in and fills on a regular basis and eventually changeover surgery, so I have two breasts one that is good (I hope, I will find out soon when I have my annual mammogram) and one that is an implant but when I am dressed you would never know!
- are you a candidate for expanders or DIEP flap surgery?
- or if you are adamant about not having a mastectomy what can you expect from treatment? Will the further treatment destroy the cancer cells
Take care - Thanks Bakdom no surgeon did not mention tissue expander and I just assume that it was because they want me to have radiation. Will ask the question. They are happy for me to have radiation on the lymph nodes as I had a suspect one which has disappeared with chemo so can't see why they can't just do the radiation to the breast as well.
- SuzyG, I am so sorry you are going through this. Has your surgeon mentioned the possibility of having a tissue expander put in at the same time as having a mastectomy. This was the option I was looking at, like you I wanted to get on with my life and knew I'd struggle without a breast. I was advised the tissue expander was my best option during radiation and 6-12 months later I would have a reconstruction performed.
I went through some pretty awful things (not breast cancer related) and found medication when needed really helped ( for me it was Ativan). Please tell the oncologist how upsetting this process, I hope you team of doctors can provide more help. Take care - Hi Ladies I need some advice. OK so they are now recommending mastectomy and then radiation and probably Tamoxifen. I am really struggling with the thought of losing the breast so much so that I have googled how much endone/endep I would need to go to sleep and not wakeup. I am having nightmares about it. Do any of you have thoughts on my not having the surgery but going ahead with the radiation and hormone treatment? I am seeing my oncologist this afternoon but I know they will go along with the surgeon. I just feel that if I go ahead with it I won't feel good about myself at all. I still want to do things - travel, swim, live but would be too self conscious with only one breast. Really struggling with this. Also like I have read on other posts - it could come back regardless of what I do.
- I agree about the size as in Deanne's post. That is why they slice and look at the entire breast tissue removed after. My niece had enlarged nodes but they couldn't find her primary on any scans. After mastectomy they found 2 spots less than 2mm (1 less then 1mm) in size...a speck. Chemo is more about the reducing the risk of metastases than just shrinking the primary. I completely understand your frustration / anger and fears. As frustrating as it is though, be guided by their experience of what should be done next.
Take care. Kath x - Like many I've been through a cancer diagnosis (20 years apart and two different cancers), with chemo for both, and a bilateral mastectomy. In 1995 I was 'cured' and it returned. The 1996 cure worked, but I always knew it made me high risk for BC, but it still didn't make discovering it easy. Like most other people I don't know what lies ahead. What I have seen is the vast improvement there has been in treatments available and I know that in the next 5 years there will be options we don't have now. It is frustrating to have thrown everything at the cancer, been crippled by the treatment, and discover one sneaky cell managed to hide. I like to think I'm a more patient, compassionate and loving person as a result of knowing how fortunate I am to be able to receive treatment (which doesn't mean I'm any of those things really, just not the self-centred person I could have been without the experience). Keep the tissues close by, put one foot in front of the other, and continue to learn more about treatments than you ever wanted to know.
Hi @SuzyG - oh dear - I am so sorry that you feel as though you have come back from hell only to find out you get a return ticket !
I really feel for you and know exactly where you are coming from.
I also had a problem with no clear margins, so then was told that I would need a partial mastectomy w/ auxillary node clearance. Some years ago they used to do surgery first then chemo, then radiotherapy.
So I had the treatment and then 4 years later a recurrence occurred in the same breast - then I had a mastectomy. It does indeed question your faith in your own body, your medical team and your very invasive treatment that you recently had.
When I had my secondary bc diagnosis in 2015, I questioned all my specialists - surgeon, oncologists - and after all the "preventative" treatment that I had and continued hormonal treatment that there may have been the most microscopic cancer call left and had laid dormant or not responded to treatment and has "switched on" (I had 8 years cancer free).
I agree with @Deanne - smaller size cancers are literally like snowballs in a snowstorm. Of little comfort to you now but please focus on the road to your ongoing good health.
Take care.
Best wishes, Sheryl xx
