Koncon25 When you find that goat please let me know. I am on a lifetime subscription to chemo and would love to stop. However, until they find something better.....
I just had one treatment off chemo due to a colonoscopy and polyp removal (unrelated to BC) and it has been nice to start feeling normal again but tomorrow I start back on due to my BC being very aggressive. Hang in there, the time goes quicker than you think. Get out and about when you feel like it and stock up on your home based hobbies for when going out is beyond doable. Craft, reading, television show catch up, jigsaws, puzzles. Cooking if you are up to it.
Sending big hugs. We are here for you so please feel free to rant away. And remember, I get first dibs on your goat.
Hi Blossom1961
Thank you for your reply. I love the reminder to enjoy life and enjoy crafts and hobbies, because I do love the crafts and the hobbies. I guess the thing to remember is to continue to love and live life to the fullest, despite the circumstances.
I'm glad you only had to do one treatment for your colon. I wish you strength and love for the BC treatments. If an Aztec goat would help, I would ship you 10!
I am glad to find this space that allows us to rant, I had a moment, and now I'm back to reality. Darn it.
Tomorrow I am with the radiation specialist to plan the next stage, with the actual treatment to start two weeks from then.
I was not keen and I'm still not keen to go through the radiation, but I think I will go ahead, but I'm going to permit myself to disagree if I don't think it is working or if I get too sick to continue. I will take a break. Not sure if I am allowed to take a break in mid-treatment, but if I have to, I will.
In the meantime, I will keep studying, the process, the meds, and the technology. The more you know, helps.
Can I ask, if you or if anyone found it hard to let everyone know?
I have only told, mother, sister, and 2 friends (my sons know). I am surprised at how difficult I am finding to let everyone know, I have a large family, 11 siblings, and a large friend base, but I feel too traumatised to share.
Wondered if im the only one who feels this way.
Thank you for letting me share/rant and imagine the milk of an Aztec goat.
Hi Koncon25,
I wish you all the best with your "clown" experience, in all of your musings and genius comedic writing - i think you articulated the very rant i wanted to say but didn't have the vocabulary for.
In regards to your question- letting people know? I live here and all my siblings live in NZ. I have to say the best advice I've was given by my GP at the very beginning of my "clown" experience (diagnosed good Friday this year) was....... you don't have to tell everyone - in fact keeping your circle small helps you! You, yourself have to process this first, when you share with people - they have questions and many of which you don't have the answers for, and as you go further into this experience you find you have no capacity. Your friends and family ask out of concern but it can feel like "another thing" you have to manage.
I too have a large family 11 siblings as well. I have only shared with my 3 sisters, my daughter, and 2 girlfriends who are like sisters. My sisters and daughter share the immediate support and care (like FIFO workers, flying abroad or interstate each month as one tags in and tags out - im blessed that they have committed to this journey with amd for me) and have set up a whatsapp group where we post appts outcomes and daily feels (including the fun stuff - sometimes we find ourselves post appts at a lovely cafe or restaurant).
They take care of the appts schedule and tell me where to be (someone always accomopanies) and they also, update the girlfriends so that when i catchup with the girlfriends we are just talking life hows the kids are how life whats the goss. The girlfriends are up to the minute on treatments/appts/restaurants and I don't have to relive it again but we can talk about that too.
If I meet a friend or family member that hasn't been included in the initial commu cations of my "clown" experience I tell them if we have face to face meets and let them know that I haven't widely shared and I would appreciate if they could respect that so that I may share when I'm ready. I'm not ashamed or embarrassed i simply would like some control on the narrative that is about my experience. Let's face it thats all you have control over when meeting this "clown".
In a large family its odd not to share. Everyone knows everything so its piqued the curiosity of my brothers and then extended family. Ive soothed their curiosity and explained that yes its serious but when i have my strength back i will include them or if they make a visit here i will then share with them.
I also asked for my workplace e not to share with all. I will manage that when I return to an in office moment which is not likely till next year at this point in time.
I went to a support group held at the ONJ Wellness centre in Melbourne, and we discussed this and it was a theme for many who were navigating this very topic. Many agreed that keeping it small or setting up a trusted group or party to communicate to others on your behalf were home of the optiosn they chose.
I appreciate everyone will be different in choosing their path and this is not right or wrong. For me though I found the beat advice was to keep the circle small o who you share with or invite in as it has given me so much more peace in the mental gymnastics that are at play here.
I wish you all the best on your experience back to health and vitality. You sound like a pretty good G.O.A.T yourself...... you do know that acronym is Greatest of All Time!
