Ask and it shall be given: it is a pain when we are sick and vulnerable, but we have to tell people what we need from them, ongoing, and with fine tuning. They forget, they don't know if it is still wanted, are afraid we may be deteriorating or have passed and are afraid to make contact. Or it just does not occur to them.
It would be good if they really made the effort on a reliable and persistent basis, and one or two do, but the others need instructions, and then will give us a lot and be glad to do so.
The fact is that many people in our lives have a lot less idea what we want and need from them that we do, and need a bit of feedback about it. They cannot read our minds, and in their ignorance are likely to get it wrong. They also do not know if we continue to need a particular kind of help unless we say, and do not necessarily understand that a particular service is deeply important and appreciated unless we say. eg my husband made juice for me most mornings through my chemo, even when he had a 5.30am start. He stopped when I got to week 3, because I seemed a bit better. I had to explain how much it meant to know I could count on this healthgiving drink every day, and not to have to put my limited energy into it when I was a bit better, cos I was still not completely well again.
I had to talk to my husband about the fact that I did not feel confident of my appearance, or that he still found me attractive, and that certain comments made that worse, and that I needed reassurance. We watched a brilliant film in which the woman's husband told her he did not find her attractive any more after mastectomy, and that gave me a chance to air my own fears and got the message home better because it was a story about someone els.
Through my chemo, I sent an "update" email out to many of my friends and relations once or twice a month, letting them know how I was going and what was happening with my treatment and my cancer, and what people were doing for me that I really appreciated. That seemed to help. I sent out one every time I had news or felt neglected or just wanted to share the experience.
Neglect by friends and family is a pain and naturally distressing, you do deserve better, but when you get lemons, make lemonaide.