Still fighting......

Hi Mel,

There is such strength in the words you have written in your blog post. I hope others are given strength through your experience.

Good luck with everything.

~Daina

Thank you so much for your wonderful reply Leonie. I go to a naturopath and he is helping me get back on track. I just feel out of control still - my body isn't what it used to be!! Losing the weight was one of the best things I did as it gave me back my confidence. I still have more to lose but I have enough on my plate at the moment!

I have had a couple of great counsellors and they have helped me to see what my husband was doing to me psychologically - I was a real mess! I am glad I moved to Queensland and started again as he would still be controlling me I think!

I lost the weight by buying myself a Wii fit! I didn't want to go out in public or to a gym, so this was a great alternative. I am a competitive person and for me it was great as I was trying to better myself all the time. Since moving I have struggled to get the motivation back though - I think it has all been too much for me. I am really excited about my new life, but I have days where I still grieve how things turned out. I don't miss my husband at all, but I did think I was married for life.

I would love to keep in touch Leonie.

THanks for your support,

Mel xx

I often wondered how you were and if you did part company with your husband.  Good on you for losing all that weight - that is amazing. As bmc stated I was told to "settle" and just go with the flow and not hurry anything as it takes at least 2 years after treatment has finished to feel anywhere near 100%.  It will be 2 years for my completion of treatment (except for daily Arimidex) in June 2013.  Most of the time now (only in the last two/three months) I feel pretty well.  Mind you I work extremely hard at it.  I take loads of herbs, go to get lymp massages every fortnight, see a life coach, see a keineseologist and try to live a quiet life - but a good life.  It is only now that I have felt like going back to work (part time).  Things come to test me though as I have hurt my back again.  Just little reminders to take it easy.  My suggestion is to take lots of herbal supplements.  My Keinesologist test all my meds to see if they are appropriate for my body.  Pretty hodo kind of stuff but I believe in it and it seems to work for me.  I went back to work after my first diagnosis but with the second one I was older and the chemo did knock my body around.  I would be interested to find out how you lost the weight as I have at least 10kg to be free of.  Again well done with the changes in your life (for the better).  Change does take a toll though so "cut yourself some slack" and take it a bit easier.  Cheers to you XLeonie

Thanks Jo for your reply - it's great to hear that I am not alone! I think I am really frustrated that my body is not the same and won't do everything I want it to do! But i am still here and forging ahead with a new life! Isnt it funny how people react - I had a couple of friends who couldn't handle it - it was me going through the disease not them!!!!

Keep in touch,

Mel xxx

Thank you Jackie for your positive reply! Keep in touch as I would love to help you with your journey. It is a tough thing to go through but I try to remember all the great things that happened to me. If I didn't have cancer I wouldn't be on this path in my life.

Talk soon,

Mel xx

Thank you for your encouraging words! I know I push myself to the limit and i am getting frustrated that I can't do the things I once did. I look on the cancer as a positive part of my life as I wouldn't be on this path otherwise! But there are still so many moments when I think 'how did i get here!'. These are lessening thankfully and I do love my new life. I think I am just still grieving what I thought I had in my marriage - hope that makes sense!

I will keep pushing on. Thank you for taking the time to reply!

Mel xx

Mel,

I have read and re-read your story several times since you posted. You are amazing!!

About the fatigue: many times I have been told by those of us who have gone through treatment that it takes about the two-year mark after treatment is over to feel properly back to where we were once upon a time.

You have also had the added recent events of your life journey, and full-time work, to process, so you could probably expect to feel worn out.

Keep up your amazing spirit and all the best.

Mel,

I have read and re-read your story several times since you posted. You are amazing!!

About the fatigue: many times I have been told by those of us who have gone through treatment that it takes about the two-year mark after treatment is over to feel properly back to where we were once upon a time.

You have also had the added recent events of your life journey, and full-time work, to process, so you could probably expect to feel worn out.

Keep up your amazing spirit and all the best.

Firstly, congrats on making it through your treatment!    I was diagnosed in November 2011 and finished treatment around October 2012.  It's quite a journey isn't it?    I'm so sorry your husband was not supportive of you.   It's sad that just when you need love and support the most, some people just dessert us.    My husband was supportive, however, I did lose a couple of close friends, so I know how disappointing it is.    Just focus on the positives, like the 20 plus kgs you have lost and the fact that your are now off anti depressants after so many years.   That says a lot about what kind of person you are and the inner strength that you have!

As far as the fatigue goes, I have no answers for you I'm sorry.  I too feel that way.  I've been trying to get up early in the mornings to take the dog for a walk, but seem to lose my momentum after a few days because I'm just sooooo tired all the time.    Having a job and two primary school aged kids doesn't help I suppose!!    If I find anything that helps, I will let you know.

All the best

Jo xxx

Firstly, congrats on making it through your treatment!    I was diagnosed in November 2011 and finished treatment around October 2012.  It's quite a journey isn't it?    I'm so sorry your husband was not supportive of you.   It's sad that just when you need love and support the most, some people just dessert us.    My husband was supportive, however, I did lose a couple of close friends, so I know how disappointing it is.    Just focus on the positives, like the 20 plus kgs you have lost and the fact that your are now off anti depressants after so many years.   That says a lot about what kind of person you are and the inner strength that you have!

As far as the fatigue goes, I have no answers for you I'm sorry.  I too feel that way.  I've been trying to get up early in the mornings to take the dog for a walk, but seem to lose my momentum after a few days because I'm just sooooo tired all the time.    Having a job and two primary school aged kids doesn't help I suppose!!    If I find anything that helps, I will let you know.

All the best

Jo xxx