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Weekesy's avatar
Weekesy
Member
11 years ago

First Day of Chemo

I've been wanting to post in this group just to introduce myself and have a look over some previous posts, but I feel this has been the first time I have really been able to stop and think about tomorrow. My first day of Chemo, and I'm a tad scared.

I feel like the last month has been a blur, and I have just been taken along for the ride. I know everyone must feel like this, but for once I would just like to stop and not talk about Breast Cancer for just one minute, or tell people that "no" I really am feeling fine.

I found a lump on Christmas Eve. We'd just finished all the Santa fun things and I was putting on my PJs and then I felt it. After not being able to get any scans etc done over the Christmas/ New Year break I eventually had a mammogram/ultrasound/biopsy done. I was then referred to a surgeon had a lumpectomy and lymph node clearance done, and then my mastectomy last Tuesday. I'm 40 and have 2 girls aged 7 and 5. My 5 year old started school on the Monday. I haven't even really been able to enjoy her first week with her. Kids are great though, and she seems to have breezed through it with the help of her big sister.

So tomorrow will be the first of my 4 AC chemo sessions. Followed by 12 weeks of Paxiltaxel and then Hercepton for 9 months after that. I was hoping to get a good nights sleep tonight, but I am sooo nervous. I have heard so many stories of being sick. All I want to be able to do is get up to see my girls to school and I was hoping to be able to go back to work 2 days a week, to try and relieve some of the financial strain, and to keep some normality. I'm hoping it won't be too bad. 

I feel a little guilty for not having read through some of the other posts first. However, just writing this down, I can have a little cry and come to terms with it a little more myself. I'm just feeling a little overwhelmed at the moment. Between, bra fittings, doctors appointments, last minute dental check ups etc, I can finally rest. I hope. 

I have a wig lady coming on Friday, but I was wondering if anyone could recommend a site that sells modern scarves/headwear. I find all the information I have been given is for turbans etc, which is just not me. They look extremely old fashioned. Any advice would be much appreciated or anything that just helped you get through the next few weeks. Thanks so much.

Linda

chemotherapy

5 Replies

  • HLewis's avatar
    HLewis
    Member
    11 years ago

    Hi Linda

    i can empathise with your feelings, I am 40 and have an 8 year old and a 6 1/2 month old. I found a lump end of 2013 but was told it was a fibroid growth. I had it checked again six months later to be told yet again there was nothing to worry about. I then became pregnant and it wasn't until finishing breastfeeding in February this year I noticed it was definitely larger and "angrier" feeling. Visit to the GP, one ultrasound, specialist surgeon referral and some blood work later I have BC and four lumps and into the lymph nodes in my armpit. Such a whirlwind and it sounds much like yourself and feeling your whole world has been tipped upside down very quickly. 

    I am coming up to my third round of FEC (I am having six months of chemo followed by surgery and then radiation therapy), which makes me sick for at least four days each time although hopefully they will now adjust my meds! I also now have a wig (personally I found shaving my head very difficult and bawled my eyes out),  which I find hard as its nothing like my own hair and I am still adjusting to wearing it but like you could not stand the whole turban/headscarf idea (not seeing any that worked for me personally). I wear a lot of hats and lucky it's winter so beanies are a saviour!

    I haven't been able to go back to work as I'm an EA and a week out of three wouldn't work in my role sadly so I can relate to the financial strain. 

    I hope you are doing okay and managing with everything. Happy to lend an ear if you need to chat :)

    Marney

  • KatieP's avatar
    KatieP
    Member
    11 years ago

    Hi Linda,

    How are you going?

    I finished my treatment on Christmas Eve, the same day you found your lump.

    I had the same chemo regime as you, 4 treatments of AC (every 3 weeks) followed by weekly paclitaxel x 12.  I found the AC to be horrible.  I was in bed for at least a week afterwards, then the second week I would gradually feel a bit better each day, then by the third week I would be feeling OK, just in time for my next treatment.  Paclitaxel was easier on my body.  The important thing to remember is that everyone reacts differently, so don't read one person's comments and expect that to apply to you.  This is your journey and your body.  Be kind to yourself.

    One of my greatest joys during that time was feeling well enough to drop my 2 sons (aged 8 & 3) off to school and daycare, & then pick them back up in the afternoons.

    On the subject of head wear... I wore caps, beanies & occasionally a bandana.  I didn't opt for a wig because I thought it might be uncomfortable.  My head was extremely sensitive for quite a while after my hair fell out.

    Take care, Katie xo

  • Sezzy's avatar
    Sezzy
    Member
    11 years ago
    Hey Linda, it is so daunting starting chemo, especially when we are told all about the nasty side effects. I have just finished 6 rounds last Thursday . It feels so good to have it done. My chemo was different, I had FEC and docetaxol ( spelling? ). I'm 43 and have two kids 11 and 15. So I can completely understand you wanting to be well for them . I managed chemo fairly well and worked throughout. It really helped my headspace. But I was lucky to have a supportive work place. I have literally just had a few days off to manage with these last symptoms. But be rest assured you will have days of feeling well and then getting back to normal. Before you know it chemo will be over! With head gear , I bought some stuff from headcovers , a site in the US. I found they had a great selection and they were not too expensive. I shaved my head about 14 days after my first chemo and it was a very liberating experience. I must admit, I'm longing for my hair to grow back, which it is slowly starting to. Any way, good luck for your first chemo, it will be fine and you will get through! Xx
  • shat's avatar
    shat
    Member
    11 years ago

    Hi Linda,

    I could relate to what you are saying about your kids and just wanting to keep things a bit normal for them. I am 42 and have 2 boys around the same ages. I have finished chemo now but was not on AC but TCH. The side effects were minimal for me but it got to be a bit of an endurance test towards the end (tired and emotional and over it)  I am due for surgery tomorrow-lumpectomy if all goes well.

    I opted for cool caps to save my hair which has worked relatively well so I can't really offer you any advice on headgear either. I just wanted to touch base really because I read your post and related with being in a similar age group and family situation.

    i quit work but some people on this site have managed to keep going. I wasnt emotionally fit enough to manage. I guess you don't really know until you start.

    I hope everything goes ok for you tommorrow. The waiting is so awfuln isnt it? Good luck. Tanya

  • shat's avatar
    shat
    Member
    11 years ago

    Hi Linda,

    I could relate to what you are saying about your kids and just wanting to keep things a bit normal for them. I am 42 and have 2 boys around the same ages. I have finished chemo now but was not on AC but TCH. The side effects were minimal for me but it got to be a bit of an endurance test towards the end (tired and emotional and over it)  I am due for surgery tomorrow-lumpectomy if all goes well.

    I opted for cool caps to save my hair which has worked relatively well so I can't really offer you any advice on headgear either. I just wanted to touch base really because I read your post and related with being in a similar age group and family situation.

    i quit work but some people on this site have managed to keep going. I wasnt emotionally fit enough to manage. I guess you don't really know until you start.

    I hope everything goes ok for you tommorrow. The waiting is so awfuln isnt it? Good luck. Tanya