MY Hero
When i was first diagnosed in March 13 i felt that i was walking around in a daze, there was so many appointments and fast paced - go here, go there, and so on, i struggled to keep up and my mind felt very clouded.
As i sat in the many Dr appointments and tests i could hear them talking but wasn't really listening and only took in parts of the conversation, on my first visit to the chemo dept i sat there looking around at all the people thinking i didn't belong or need to be here but this was a denial on my part and when Dr's wanted to lock dates in for treatment i was like - i can't do that i work full time and treatment would just have to wait, some Dr's looked at me like i was joking but i was very serious - again this was a denial on my part, i laugh about this now but it took a long time for me to accept this as serious and do something about it as apparently it was very serious.
This is where my Hero came in, he forced me to accept what was going to be and told me very carefully that we are talking about your life- nothing is as important as your life, then said, you just need to walk, just one foot in front of the other, he attended every appointment, and treatment i had, he sat with me when i was very sick in hospital and never left my side.
No words were needed he just kept saying you can do this, WE can do this one day at a time.
The day i was diagnosed i watched the color drain from his face but that was the only time i seen him a bit scared - when we told our children and family members he was right there, being strong when i couldnt be, he shaved my head for me and helped me to feel good about it.
He was there cleaning the house when i could'nt get off the lounge, he cooked for me, he took me everywhere i needed to be, he was my eyes and ears, (even though he is slightly deaf lol he done his best) he was the one who got me blankets and hot water bottles when i was cold, he was the one who kept the house running and he was the one who stayed positive all the time and kept my spirits up even on the days i had to have my angry pills -and just didn't want to be happy, on these days he would ban me from going shopping or come with me lol.
He was the one that kept my life stable when in fact it was a very unstable time. My experience didn't just affect me but my Hero as well, more than i think i know but he is still here beside me, we are trying to get back to normal - well as normal as it can be but we are doing it together and without my Hero i could not have done this alone, yes there is alot of support out there (BCNA were amazing) family and friends also but they can't be there 24/7 like my Hero was......
Who is my HERO - My husband (hubby) as i like to call him, and i am writing this to thank him from the bottom of my heart and to remember what a wonderful man he is. xxxx
