Scared, confused and need advice
Comments
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Letting you know I'm thinking of you & sending lots of love & positive vibes.
Annette joycie xx0 -
Hi Tilly
I can't imagine how you're feeling now...suddenly my secondary in my lower back is indignificant! I am very lucky it hasnt changed or spread for 4 years.
My father was diagnosed with multiple myeloma in 2007, & only lived till 2009. Till he was diagnosed, he was so well. It was devasting for all of us. He went with my younger sister to the top of Western Australia: a dream and bucket list he'd always had. His oncologist sorted his meds, & even though he wasn't the best...in a wheelchair (hard for my sis who's built like a stick!), but they had a ball, & the last few months were very peaceful and restful for him.
Having said all this, I reckon you have much more time, & should do just exactly what you want, within the alliwances of your treatment. I find the breast care nurses who work with the oncologists have really valuable strategies for coping emotionally as well. Its great you are surrounded by wonderful family & friends. You are incredibly positive, strong and brave. Make some affirmation cards with phrases like that on them (they're fun to make & you csn forget your worries by being creative); & keep little piles of them in your handbags, round the house & next to your bed. My friend made me a little box of them.
Love and hugs to you
Kathleen xxxxxxxooooooo
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Hi Tilly
I can't imagine how you're feeling now...suddenly my secondary in my lower back is indignificant! I am very lucky it hasnt changed or spread for 4 years.
My father was diagnosed with multiple myeloma in 2007, & only lived till 2009. Till he was diagnosed, he was so well. It was devasting for all of us. He went with my younger sister to the top of Western Australia: a dream and bucket list he'd always had. His oncologist sorted his meds, & even though he wasn't the best...in a wheelchair (hard for my sis who's built like a stick!), but they had a ball, & the last few months were very peaceful and restful for him.
Having said all this, I reckon you have much more time, & should do just exactly what you want, within the alliwances of your treatment. I find the breast care nurses who work with the oncologists have really valuable strategies for coping emotionally as well. Its great you are surrounded by wonderful family & friends. You are incredibly positive, strong and brave. Make some affirmation cards with phrases like that on them (they're fun to make & you csn forget your worries by being creative); & keep little piles of them in your handbags, round the house & next to your bed. My friend made me a little box of them.
Love and hugs to you
Kathleen xxxxxxxooooooo
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You poor darling- am so sorry to hear you are stuck in hospital having tests and that your trip is postponed.Life can just smack you in the face- one minute you are fine, looking forward to a trip and then the next, you are in hospital dealing with bc mets.I would be in a dark place too.Do you have family support?I hope you are getting good care.Stay strong and know we are all thinking of you.Sending love and hugs, Tonya xx
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We'll after a week and half of every test imaginable I am stating treatment today on abraxin ... I thought once I knew I would cope better but I feel all hope has gone and now I have to fight this with everything and I don't know if I. Strong enough to do it ... Now all I think about is my daughter and grandson it is only us 3 we have no other family I've always felt I need to be there for them and now I'm not going to be and if something happens to my daughter who will look after maxxy he is only 2 all it does it invade my thoughts ... How do you ever get through this .....0
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hi Tilly, I hope that the treatment goes well today. Once you get through the next few days you will hopefully have a little more confidence about what this chemo will be all about and you will settle into a routine. Starting the first dose is always very scary. Make sure you let your chemo nurses know that you are feeling really anxious. They can be a great support. Ask them about what resources are available to you at the hospital. There might be a counsellor that you could meet with and talk through some of the feelings you are experiencing, especially about your worries around your daughter.
Best wishes
Danielle
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Hi Tilly14,
First, we are here with you, your fellow travellers on this webpage.
You are not as alone as you feel you are, there is help and support for yourself and your daughter, including all of us on this website. And the cancer organisiations have counselling and other assistance for your daughter as well. If you tell me which city you live in, I will hunt out all the info I can.
Second, when you are tired, sick, scared and the rug has just been pulled out from under your feet, things always look bad and feel much worse than they really are. And this is also why you will naturally underestimate what you can cope with and survive at the moment.
i know you are dealing with really frightening stuff, but so you are currently more vulnerable and more emotionally reactive than you generally are, so you will find it easier to believe in yourself, and that you can get through your treatment once you start to get back on your feet again.
Third, sometimes knowing your family really needs you and that you cannot actually fit dying into the plans can be a powerful incentive to push through difficult times and to find the determination to persist and can help you survive better. To find the faith against all odds to know that you will get through this. I have a friend whose liver packed in when his wife had left him and he was raising two very young children on his own. His doctor told him to see his lawyer, but he knew he had to be there for his kids, and twenty years later he is still going strong.
When you get a little energy back, you will find it much more possible to grit your teeth and hold true, and easier to push the despair and hopelessness away. The fact that it is really hard to do now is not because things really are hopeless, just that you are so vulnerable and tired etc.
best wishes
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How are you coping? Thinking of you0
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How are you coping? Thinking of you0
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Hi
I have been meaning to come back on and write an update .. But everytime i do I don't really know where to start .. I had my first visit with the physcolgist at the hospital yesterday and she said I was still in the grief stage which I guess I am .. It's really hard to understand where I'm at .. I am not so out of control as I was when I first found out .. Sometimes I think I am just numb just going day by day ... But I've been back at work for 2 weeks now .. And had my first 3 rounds of chemo .. And dso farexcept losing my hair .. Feel pretty good health wise ... Not sleeping much which makes me pretty tired by the end of the day though
Though I have been doing a lot of thinking and planning and have been in touch with my insurance and have a meeting set up with the legal team with the cancer council to apply access it so I can give up work and spend the rest of my time with my daughter and grandson ...
Would be great to hear from anyone that has any info on the process .. How long it's likely to take ?
I think that's my main goal now is just to fix up all the financial things for my daughter and cut out all the stress so I can put everything into keep living as long as I can ... I'm not accepting a short time prognosis at this stage ( even though that might be denial
I have to believe to keep going ...
Thanks for keeping in touch ... And the support it does help soooo much ...0
