My first day at work:)
Or should I say 'First day at school' 
That's what it felt like, I had worked myself up with nerves wondering about all the 'ifs'. After I served my first customer and had poured the first beer I settled somewhat. Met a lot of new staff who also thought I was 'new' and they all seemed nice.
Quite a number of the regulars had heard that I was coming back and decided to visit and welcome me which had the domino effect of making my first day rather busy! I finished the 4 hour shift strongly and I know I've made the right decision in only doing short shifts at first. I was tired but content after. Just to be back in some sort of routine made me feel a sense of achievement. I'm doing another shift on Friday and not feeling so apprehensive.
So, I was on a high on Tuesday and thought I would text my friend and see how she was going. She was diagnosed with Stage 4 Hodgkins Lymphoma in 2012, she had battled through harsh chemo and had a lot of success. She replied to my text and said 'it's back' and that she would be fighting yet another battle. This was a woman who offered me so much help and advice when I was going through chemo even though she was still fighting the damage that had been done from her treatment. I'm devastated and felt myself start to slide downhill, but I know that she would not want that. She is such a positive person, she told me she is so proud of me and ordered me to stay well and keep going on my positive path. I will do that but sometimes I can't figure out how the cards are dealt so unfairly. It is what it is.
Sorry my post started so well and went askew but this the place so say how we are feeling, what a roller coaster. Stay well ladies, let's keep fighting the battles and one day maybe we can win the war:) All the best to everyone,
Hazel xx
Comments
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I was thinking of you on Monday and wondering how you went. I'm glad it went well and you are feeling positive about the next shift!
I'm so sorry to hear about your friend. It is hard when we hear bad news.
In my previous work, I worked with young children with special needs. It seemed so unfair that these children and their families were dealt such a raw deal in life. But, these children were often amazingly giving and seeing them achieve new skills was the most wonderful thing that just seemed to ripple out and give joy to all those involved. Don't get me wrong, many of these children and their families face enormous difficulties but somehow this made their positive achievements more powerful. Maybe that is how life is. In order to experience real joy we have to endure the traumas too.
I lost a friend to bowel cancer recently and have three more facing life threatening/shortening situations. None of them want to be facing this but all of them want to make the most of every opportunity they have and want the same for all those around them. Life is never more precious than when it is threatened, as we all know.
Maybe winning the war is just to make the best of all the moments we possibly can. Take care. Deanne xxx0 -
I was thinking of you on Monday and wondering how you went. I'm glad it went well and you are feeling positive about the next shift!
I'm so sorry to hear about your friend. It is hard when we hear bad news.
In my previous work, I worked with young children with special needs. It seemed so unfair that these children and their families were dealt such a raw deal in life. But, these children were often amazingly giving and seeing them achieve new skills was the most wonderful thing that just seemed to ripple out and give joy to all those involved. Don't get me wrong, many of these children and their families face enormous difficulties but somehow this made their positive achievements more powerful. Maybe that is how life is. In order to experience real joy we have to endure the traumas too.
I lost a friend to bowel cancer recently and have three more facing life threatening/shortening situations. None of them want to be facing this but all of them want to make the most of every opportunity they have and want the same for all those around them. Life is never more precious than when it is threatened, as we all know.
Maybe winning the war is just to make the best of all the moments we possibly can. Take care. Deanne xxx0 -
It is so hard going back to work to be hit with alot of questions, looks and comments. I went back still wearing a scarf so of course I got lots of comments, mostly positive but nonetheless not wanting to be the centre of attention was thrown into it for the day. I have since ditched the scarf and now feel and look like Im getting back to my 'new normal'. I have had to reduce my full-time hours for the time being as I cant cope with a 40 hour week. Luckily my management aren't too bad and Im taking it as annual leave. All I can say is be kind to yourself don't push it at work and if you need to take time off, don't worry. I thought that once I announced I would be back then I would be thrown into it but once again I am being surprised and it has been a gradual process. Good luck. Wendy xx
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So glad to hear you are doing well:) It is a gradual process and I know what you mean about being the centre of attention, just want to get on and do the job, hey? Best wishes to you,
Hazel xx
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