So I was sitting at Muffin Break having coffee with a friend and an older lady (complete stranger) comes up to me and says" you know having cancer or whatever illness you have, really suits you" I' m kind if gobsmacked so just smiled and nodded. She then stops again as she comes back with her coffee and witters on about something else ending with " I always say what I think". Leaving me thinking "but do you think before you say?". My friend was pretty gobsmacked by it all, and I have to say I was too. I mean I think I understand what she was getting at, she meant I was looking well and rocking the scarves.....at least I think that's what she meant! Well that's how I'm going to take it anyway. But as my hubby pointed out total strangers coming up and giving their opinions is one thing but what if I'd just been given bad news, what if my diagnosis wasn't positive, how would I have reacted then? I've noticed that when people come up to you the usual reaction is.... They talk in whispers to you " ooh have you got cancer?" Cue sympathetic look and hand on arm, I find myself whispering back ( dunno why maybe the subject of cancer means results in noise sensitivities or something, I dunno) " yes, I have Breast Cancer". They then say something like " ooh, sorry to hear that" ( still whispering). I much prefer the attitude of kids to it all, they are curious, and direct, no whispering. At the high school where I work, kids will say " why you wearing a scarf miss are you ill ? " and I will quite happily have a conversation with them about it, it's direct, it's honest and there is no whispering! I do think though that some peopl trot out the " I say what I think " line as an excuse for rudeness, you can give your opinion or ask a question in such a way to not give offence. People need to ask themselves is it better to be right or or to be kind? And is my opinion actually needed?
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