ealry menopause and childless

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ash
ash Member Posts: 4
edited May 2014 in Health and wellbeing

hi I have been diagnosed with BC and due to begin chemo. I am 45 no kids so I will be no doubt in for early memnopause. I have wanted children but no luck due to bad relationships. I am hurt, angry, resentful and feel cheated. I visited a fertility specialist and my only hope is to use egg donor. I am currently single and feel no one seems to understand my pain and sorrow.I think it is so unfair that due to circumstances beyond my control my dreams will never come true. Am I the only woman in this situation please let me know your thoughts

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  • Julia44
    Julia44 Member Posts: 361
    edited March 2015
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    You have every right to feel the loss of a dream of yours.  I am sorry to hear of your sadness!

    Julia

  • Robyn W
    Robyn W Member Posts: 1,932 ✭
    edited March 2015
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    Even though I am a lot older than you(59)I believe I have some understanding of your pain as my own daughter ,who is in her 30's is unable to have children now,because of circumstances beyond her control also.I have watched her journey and efforts,to become a Mum,from IVF to where she is now,which is on the adoption register.It is the only real thing she wants in life,to be a Mum,and as she is coming to realise now,there are many different avenues that can be taken,to become a parent.Not all of them mean that you will give birth,but there are many beautiful children out there,who desperately need parents, or a parent, to love them.My husband and I foster children,and we often see the joy that can come through this.So even though your dream is crushed,don't give up on it Ash.There are other ways to make it come true.xxxRobyn

  • Robyn W
    Robyn W Member Posts: 1,932 ✭
    edited March 2015
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    Even though I am a lot older than you(59)I believe I have some understanding of your pain as my own daughter ,who is in her 30's is unable to have children now,because of circumstances beyond her control also.I have watched her journey and efforts,to become a Mum,from IVF to where she is now,which is on the adoption register.It is the only real thing she wants in life,to be a Mum,and as she is coming to realise now,there are many different avenues that can be taken,to become a parent.Not all of them mean that you will give birth,but there are many beautiful children out there,who desperately need parents, or a parent, to love them.My husband and I foster children,and we often see the joy that can come through this.So even though your dream is crushed,don't give up on it Ash.There are other ways to make it come true.xxxRobyn

  • Mandi
    Mandi Member Posts: 2
    edited March 2015
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    Ash, like you I have bc and also start chemo soon. I'm 31, childless and to think my whole world has been completely turned upside down. It's unfair to think both of us miss out on something we have both longed for. I've always thought one day I will have kids. And now it's been taken away just like that. I too am angry, pissed off, sad and hurt. It's just another kick in the guts that this terrible thing brings. No to answer your question. No Ash you aren't alone x
  • Robyn W
    Robyn W Member Posts: 1,932 ✭
    edited March 2015
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    Ash,I hope that you will stay in touch on this site.There are obviously many women in your position,and I think that many are not as brave as you,to actually put in a blog post how they are feeling.It is such a personal subject,and yet,when you read the responses to your post,you can see that there are many other ladies feeling the pain and frustration that you do.I am sure that you have helped them by raising this very delicate subject.My daughter used to tell me about how people just slowly stopped inviting her to things when she became the last one with no children.My heart would break for her,but now it is full of hope again,as she waits patiently for a child to be needed.You never know what the future holds Ash,if you try to keep an open mind.All the best with your chemo tomorrow.Let us know how you go.Cheers xoxRobyn
  • ash
    ash Member Posts: 4
    edited March 2015
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    Hi Robyn

    Thank you for your response I wish your daughter love and happiness and her dreams will come true I am sure of it.

    I will definetely be keeping touch on this site.Thanks xxx

  • ash
    ash Member Posts: 4
    edited March 2015
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    Hi Robyn

    Thank you for your response I wish your daughter love and happiness and her dreams will come true I am sure of it.

    I will definetely be keeping touch on this site.Thanks xxx

  • ash
    ash Member Posts: 4
    edited March 2015
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    hi everyone

    Just an update to inform you all that I started chemo today. Went well for the first time. Ash XX

  • Robyn W
    Robyn W Member Posts: 1,932 ✭
    edited March 2015
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    Take it day by day,and expect to feel some tiredness in a few days.If you need any advice,there is always someone on here 24/7 Cheers xoxRobyn

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