Super sensitive!
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I am so glad to hear that you will be talking to your councellor tomorrow. We all need someone to talk to who will not judge us and not take on our fearful thoughts. It is really like having a best friend to turn to except they are educated and trained to teach and guide us in the right direction for us personally.
Thank you too for yur kind words. I just want to add there is an end to grieving and the pain lessens if we don't deny ourselves early on. It doesn't mean we forget but as you said it puts us in a much more understanding position of other peoples life experiences and allows us to help as opposed to avoiding them.
Big hugs again.
Joy xx
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Ha ha....thanks for that!
It did give me a giggle...especially since I wolfed down a packet of twisties just before I read your post!
xxx
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Feeling your hug Jodie!
Thanks....xxx
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Hope all is good with you .....glad you remembered your password again!
Stay in touch....x
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I'm glad too xxx
Hope your feeling better xx
I had my second to last chemo yesterday. Nearly there for me xxx
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Just reading some old posts on mood swings whilst I'm muttering under my breath what I'd really like to say to some people. Thought about venting on paper but someone may find it. So I'm going to vent here if you dont mind.
My home over 26 years of marriage to an old fashioned farmer has consisted of putting myself 2nd then (after 3 kids) 3rd, 4th, 5th etc. Now that I am putting myself first my house doesn't work.
But it's my husband that I resent. He is still not being thoughtful, nor helpful, and it's still all about him. In fact nothing he says or does helps and I feel I'd be doing better without him at least I'd be able to sleep as he snores 24/7 & gets very aggressive if I wake him to shut him up. Should I grin and bear all this? Or should I just worry about what I need and deal with him when this is all over? Keep in mind I'm just starting my journey - chemo first then op 1,2 or 3 then radiation then oral chemo. Lost for how to deal with these feelings.
HELP.....0 -
Just reading some old posts on mood swings whilst I'm muttering under my breath what I'd really like to say to some people. Thought about venting on paper but someone may find it. So I'm going to vent here if you dont mind.
My home over 26 years of marriage to an old fashioned farmer has consisted of putting myself 2nd then (after 3 kids) 3rd, 4th, 5th etc. Now that I am putting myself first my house doesn't work.
But it's my husband that I resent. He is still not being thoughtful, nor helpful, and it's still all about him. In fact nothing he says or does helps and I feel I'd be doing better without him at least I'd be able to sleep as he snores 24/7 & gets very aggressive if I wake him to shut him up. Should I grin and bear all this? Or should I just worry about what I need and deal with him when this is all over? Keep in mind I'm just starting my journey - chemo first then op 1,2 or 3 then radiation then oral chemo. Lost for how to deal with these feelings.
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I have been on my hormone treatment for about 1 month now and the only noticable side effect seems to be crankiness. My partner would tell you he sees no difference! I am starting to chill out more now thankfully. This is definitely the time for you to come first, it takes a lot of mental as well as physical strength to travel this 'journey'. I'm no expert but I would worry about what you need and deal with him when this is all over. Communication is the key, have you tried to sit down with the family and tell them how you are feeling? You will need their support throughout this, there's no doubt. Hope your hubbie comes to terms with your needs. It should be all about you at the moment, take care,
Hazel xx
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I have been on my hormone treatment for about 1 month now and the only noticable side effect seems to be crankiness. My partner would tell you he sees no difference! I am starting to chill out more now thankfully. This is definitely the time for you to come first, it takes a lot of mental as well as physical strength to travel this 'journey'. I'm no expert but I would worry about what you need and deal with him when this is all over. Communication is the key, have you tried to sit down with the family and tell them how you are feeling? You will need their support throughout this, there's no doubt. Hope your hubbie comes to terms with your needs. It should be all about you at the moment, take care,
Hazel xx
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So sorry Nicole to hear that you feel that people around you and especially your husband aren't recognizing you have to come first right now. My husband who snores a lot recognized the importance of my sleep and he has since my diagnosis in November 2013 slept on the lounge. Do you have a spare bed in your house that you could sleep in. That your not getting quality sleep is a concern that I would try to rectify before anything else.
In the early days of my journey I didn't handle arguments with my husband and felt resentful that he didn't understand exactly what I was going through but over time I realised that no one really understands unless they are experiencing the same thing and that it is up to me to make sure my needs are met. That includes reducing my stress.
I now choose my battles and also choose how I will respond to any disappointments or insensitive behaviour from those closest too me. Mostly I just let those resentful feelings float away. It take practice, but I am more concerned about my health than trying to explain to people that they are being insensitive or selfish. It takes too much energy.
I am sure things will settle down for you as time goes by. It is very early days and no one really knows how to respond to each other in the beginning.
Big cyber hugs to you and I will you all the best with your treatments.
Joy xx
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If my husband snores too much,I go sleep in the spare bed.You are just starting this crap journey and will need lots of support- physically and emotionally.Some men are more helpful when it's spelt out to them-they can't always read our minds.My world came crashing down when I broke my ankle and couldn't get downstairs with a heavy plaster on.I hated losing control of the house but had no choice.I had to let standards go and I had to delegate, write lists,instructions etc.My husband and 2 girls were quite capable but needed reminding-they didn't think to do things automatically.Put yourself first now and come here to vent or get support from your pink sisters. Big hug,Tonya xx0
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My mum died in May and I had been in " nurse" mode looking after her( my way of coping).Then I arranged her funeral and after that,consoled her friends and relatives. Mum didn't want anyone to know she was dying of cancer and she didn't want anyone at her funeral,just her children and 2 grandchildren.So there were a lot of upset people afterwards and I have only just started grieving now for mum.I think it hits you down the track when you can stop,breathe and process it.No doubt,you had the bc battle to contend with when your dear mum died.What a terrible time you've had this year.I feel a connection with you Jen because we've both lost our mums this year.I get abit teary- never know when,but that's normal.
It took me about 2 years on from bc to get some confidence back in my health.Some people expect you to move on and get over it.I've had someone ask me why am I running a bc support group and staying with BCNA- don't I want to forget about breast cancer now.My close friends would never say that.
Thinking of you and sending hugs,Tonya xx0 -
Thank you everyone for words of advice and support. I'm feeling a bit better tonight. Maybe just venting on paper helped. I'll try to focus on me and not all the things bugging me.0
