Who's my friend
When we were growing up my Dad said to us that in life you will have many acquaintances and only a few friends.
All his life he had two friends.....the type that were old slippers....didn't matter how rough and worn they were, you would never throw them out and always keep them somewhere safe that you knew where they were.
My sisters and I were not close growing up. We are not close now.
Today I had a wake up call.
I am having surgery in a fortnight's time. It is the first part of my breast reconstruction.
The hospital is 1 and a half hours away from home....quite close really as most of my treatment has been 1200 kms from home.
I was planning on driving myself down on the day of the surgery and staying overnight in hospital and driving myself back the next day after I was discharged.
That would mean that my Mum (I'm her carer) will only have one night with me away.
Sometimes you can be too forthcoming......
When the pre-admission sister discovered that I was travelling on my own, she went into a bit of a tailspin.
She said that I couldn't drive for 24 hours after the anaesethetic.
That's okay, I will hang around the town until the 24 hours is up.
Then she said that I should check with my surgeon because she was pretty comfortable that I would not be allowed to drive for a few days.
So I checked and yes, I cannot drive for 3 days because of the medication that I will be on - some valium (as a muscle relaxant) and painkillers.
Okay that being said, I looked at my family for my help.
My boys are both on shift and away from home then.
One of my girls is working and the other is going to help with the babysitting so that she can work.
Mum is my carer and I have to make arrangements for her as well.
So then I looked at what friends could help.
Hmmmm that turned out to be a bit of a problem. Never has been before.
There are many acquaintances but my friends are few (and most of them don't live nearby). My family is my network.
Looks like I can get a lift down with one of my boys if he is prepared to go earlier than he needs to do for work.
Getting back I think I am going to have to go to Facebook and see if I can get a lift back from someone.
Or I postpone the surgery until I can get some family available to give me a lift down and back.
I've taken myself down and back for chemo.
I've taken myself down and back for radiation.
I've taken myself down and back for a mastectomy.
I've taken myself down and back for CT scans, mammograms, biopsies, MRIs and whatever else they have asked me to do.
and now......???????
You've got to be kidding..........!!!!!!!
Comments
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Thanks Nellie.
Thanks for taking the time to reply.
You're right, up the one that is the "doer" and nothing is ever too hard.
In my advice to people about cancer, I say accept any offer that is made as you never know when you will need help and should never be too proud to get help.
Today has been an emotional learning curve for me.
I'm waiting for a friend to get back to me on whether she can help.....
I'm annoyed with myself most of all for even making the comment that "let the cat out of the bag" that I didn't have a carer coming with me.
Amazing though how quickly it was jumped on.
I've thought it through today though and if I don't get anyone to help, then I will simply catch a bus down to the city and taxi it to the hospital....and do the same on the reverse.
Just to make sure I understood where my priorities should lay...this afternoon my mother got sick and I took her to the doctors. She expected that she would be put into hospital. He sent her home with me. I shake my head sometimes, but what can you do?
When the going gets tough, the tough get going..........
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Hi Lynne
I'm so sorry you have to feel a bit abandoned at such a time. You sound like a very strong and independent lady. It seems that the people in your life are not used to you needing to be looked after as you are probably the one always looking after others. Sometimes you have to show vulnerability before people take any notice of your needs. I really hope somebody comes to your assistance at this time. It sounds like you really need it.
Thinking of you and wishing you luck with your surgery.
Hugs, Jeanine xxx0 -
I am sad you don't have a good realtionship with your sisters. I have been so very lucky. But maybe it isn't too late ? You never know what might happen if you ask them for help.
Best wishes for your surgery
magicmum
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Hi Lynne,
This is Annie from BCNA. I thought I would jump on here and let you know that the Cancer Council may have suggestions on who you can contact for help. Sometimes there are patient transport schemes run by volunteers who drive people to/from treatment. It's definitely worth giving them a call to see if there's any assistance available in your area. You can reach them by phoning 13 11 20.
Hospital social workers are also excellent contacts for these sorts of issues. Perhaps contact your hospital social worker to see if they have any suggestions for you. They may be aware of a transport scheme to assist you.
All the best Lynne
~Annie
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Hi Lynne,
This is Annie from BCNA. I thought I would jump on here and let you know that the Cancer Council may have suggestions on who you can contact for help. Sometimes there are patient transport schemes run by volunteers who drive people to/from treatment. It's definitely worth giving them a call to see if there's any assistance available in your area. You can reach them by phoning 13 11 20.
Hospital social workers are also excellent contacts for these sorts of issues. Perhaps contact your hospital social worker to see if they have any suggestions for you. They may be aware of a transport scheme to assist you.
All the best Lynne
~Annie
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