Some practical knowledge- just how sick?

BecJ

Hi ladies
I am newly diagnosed with locally advanced BC and am hoping to get a general idea of how sick chemo and the mastectomy will possibly make me. I have a 2 and 3 year old. Single mum of active boys that need my attention. I will need to move house right in the middle of this now and just hoping to find out how able will I be.
If I have an idea it will help some very tough decisions I need to make in the next few weeks.

Barbw

Hi Bec,
Sorry to welcome you to the bc group but I hope you find lots of support on here. I was diagnosed just over a year ago with locally advanced BC and am also a single Mum with three kids 8, 10, 13, so older and not as needy as toddlers. To be honest I couldn't have coped without help from my family. One of my sisters would always come and stay during the difficult times. With the mastectomy I think my hospital stay was 4 days but the sorest part was under my arm and this restricted me at home for a couple of weeks, including driving. Chemo is different for everyone & some people work through. However work & toddlers aren't the same, you don't get a break. I had two different types of chemo, the first, FEC, the effects hit the next day & I couldn't have looked after kids. The second,TCH, hit about four days after and for approx 2-3 days I was in bed and then very slowly improved. The 3rd week just before going back again was fine. Fatigue is another factor and seems to build up over time so you may find you need some more help in your later treatments. Please remember you may travel through chemo a lot better but I'd plan for as much help as possible and then if you don't need it, great.
Hugs to you, it's a really difficult time.
Barbara xxx

Barbw

Hi Bec,
Sorry to welcome you to the bc group but I hope you find lots of support on here. I was diagnosed just over a year ago with locally advanced BC and am also a single Mum with three kids 8, 10, 13, so older and not as needy as toddlers. To be honest I couldn't have coped without help from my family. One of my sisters would always come and stay during the difficult times. With the mastectomy I think my hospital stay was 4 days but the sorest part was under my arm and this restricted me at home for a couple of weeks, including driving. Chemo is different for everyone & some people work through. However work & toddlers aren't the same, you don't get a break. I had two different types of chemo, the first, FEC, the effects hit the next day & I couldn't have looked after kids. The second,TCH, hit about four days after and for approx 2-3 days I was in bed and then very slowly improved. The 3rd week just before going back again was fine. Fatigue is another factor and seems to build up over time so you may find you need some more help in your later treatments. Please remember you may travel through chemo a lot better but I'd plan for as much help as possible and then if you don't need it, great.
Hugs to you, it's a really difficult time.
Barbara xxx

BecJ

Thank you for your reply and gives me pause. I'm getting some offers of help from a few different places, which very touching. It's hard to know what to ask people for at this point. The over night is possibly what I may struggle to get. But will know to suggest whenever they can would be great. I think I'm getting lots of food at this stage. which will be great to keep the kids stocked up.
X

BecJ

Thanks Janet
Work are great they are looking into making a home office so I can do work when I can, with no travel. I am thinking I might try to get another childcare day. The boys do 2 for me to work. Also for the benefit of anyone else reading. I have been told about special child care benefit. 13 weeks assistance for fees during illness, when you have more bills.

mgndam1603

I found that after my surgery I was sore and guess that picking up small children would be difficult. Also through my chemo I seemed to have every side effect and there were days the fatigue meant I couldn't lift my head off the pillow.

Finally radiation the burns make that area very sore, there were 2 mothers of small children that said they couldn't cuddle the babies through that time.

We are all different and how our bodies react is different so its very difficult to judge. I would suggest that you accept all the assistance you are offered along your journey.

I understand you are coming along on Sunday, I am looking forward to meeting you.

cheers

Donna

mgndam1603

I found that after my surgery I was sore and guess that picking up small children would be difficult. Also through my chemo I seemed to have every side effect and there were days the fatigue meant I couldn't lift my head off the pillow.

Finally radiation the burns make that area very sore, there were 2 mothers of small children that said they couldn't cuddle the babies through that time.

We are all different and how our bodies react is different so its very difficult to judge. I would suggest that you accept all the assistance you are offered along your journey.

I understand you are coming along on Sunday, I am looking forward to meeting you.

cheers

Donna

mgndam1603

I found that after my surgery I was sore and guess that picking up small children would be difficult. Also through my chemo I seemed to have every side effect and there were days the fatigue meant I couldn't lift my head off the pillow.

Finally radiation the burns make that area very sore, there were 2 mothers of small children that said they couldn't cuddle the babies through that time.

We are all different and how our bodies react is different so its very difficult to judge. I would suggest that you accept all the assistance you are offered along your journey.

I understand you are coming along on Sunday, I am looking forward to meeting you.

cheers

Donna

BecJ

Ok everyone's journey is so very different. I meet a lady this week, approx 4 days behind me. And she is breezing through FEC which is great.
But I'm not. And please be sensitive to people and not think they are even if you are. I'm unlucky I get it. And I'm not going to wallow. But here's my story so far.
Two toddlers, single, just left and abusive marriage. That got worse, how dare I leave, since I cant hurt you any more ill get at you through the kids.
Then a month later found a lump. One day later locally advance BC to big to operate have to do chemo first.
Ok pressure court documents need writing, checking signing. Have to attend mediation. Have to arrange sale of house as he won't work with bank to allow me to make a payment plan. (This is highly strange and banks changed there policy just for me, as they couldn't believe what he was doing) small time reprey. All I'd asked for was 6 or 12 mths to do treatment. Big NO.
So in the space of 4 weeks get house up for auction. He refused to do any work not pay for any.
Now I've just started chemo. First cycle feel sick within 2 hours then get late onset. So vomiting into second week. Week three feel better. Try working 3 half days. First one wipes out next day. Wait til later in week more successful.
Change meds for next cycle to hopefully get better out come.
He then starts court proceeding for an urgent family matter, not coming up with a y reason its urgent. with a 15 page doc I have to read and answer with a deadline of days. I can't make it. We ask for an adjournment and later service date of one week to feel better. Denied. ??? What. The judge to one look at it and adjourned til next year, not urgent, waste of court time.
Second cycle. Is it possible worse than first. Still sick day 17 and not likely to get better before next treatment. Constipated dr can't get it to start properly can't work out why. Cough they are not happy about. I have little kids, I can not stay away from germs. Snotty noses etc.
so I have the snot, sore throat, nose. Dry mouth. Brian fog, dizzy. Headache ouch.
as of yesterday the oncologist said my toxicity is to high. They have to drop the dose.
One side of me says yay the other side is terrified what if this is my chance, what if this blows it.
But they are positive my body can not function this way and has to be changed.
Now that ends my sorry soap opera.
Advice to anyone to ring GP or/&chemo nurses straight away for advice. Just check if your not sure.
But also be true to yourself and what is really important to your end happiness. I've made many compromises as I just want to get the bully out of my next journey. I want to enjoy my kids and not feel sick every day.
I dont need money to do that. But I do need family friends and love and warmth. That is where my new journey as of today starts from. I've walked away from his fight and won't look back. Me and the kids are worth every ounce of goodness in our life's. money can not buy that. But good health will make that more enjoyable.

BecJ

Ok everyone's journey is so very different. I meet a lady this week, approx 4 days behind me. And she is breezing through FEC which is great.
But I'm not. And please be sensitive to people and not think they are even if you are. I'm unlucky I get it. And I'm not going to wallow. But here's my story so far.
Two toddlers, single, just left and abusive marriage. That got worse, how dare I leave, since I cant hurt you any more ill get at you through the kids.
Then a month later found a lump. One day later locally advance BC to big to operate have to do chemo first.
Ok pressure court documents need writing, checking signing. Have to attend mediation. Have to arrange sale of house as he won't work with bank to allow me to make a payment plan. (This is highly strange and banks changed there policy just for me, as they couldn't believe what he was doing) small time reprey. All I'd asked for was 6 or 12 mths to do treatment. Big NO.
So in the space of 4 weeks get house up for auction. He refused to do any work not pay for any.
Now I've just started chemo. First cycle feel sick within 2 hours then get late onset. So vomiting into second week. Week three feel better. Try working 3 half days. First one wipes out next day. Wait til later in week more successful.
Change meds for next cycle to hopefully get better out come.
He then starts court proceeding for an urgent family matter, not coming up with a y reason its urgent. with a 15 page doc I have to read and answer with a deadline of days. I can't make it. We ask for an adjournment and later service date of one week to feel better. Denied. ??? What. The judge to one look at it and adjourned til next year, not urgent, waste of court time.
Second cycle. Is it possible worse than first. Still sick day 17 and not likely to get better before next treatment. Constipated dr can't get it to start properly can't work out why. Cough they are not happy about. I have little kids, I can not stay away from germs. Snotty noses etc.
so I have the snot, sore throat, nose. Dry mouth. Brian fog, dizzy. Headache ouch.
as of yesterday the oncologist said my toxicity is to high. They have to drop the dose.
One side of me says yay the other side is terrified what if this is my chance, what if this blows it.
But they are positive my body can not function this way and has to be changed.
Now that ends my sorry soap opera.
Advice to anyone to ring GP or/&chemo nurses straight away for advice. Just check if your not sure.
But also be true to yourself and what is really important to your end happiness. I've made many compromises as I just want to get the bully out of my next journey. I want to enjoy my kids and not feel sick every day.
I dont need money to do that. But I do need family friends and love and warmth. That is where my new journey as of today starts from. I've walked away from his fight and won't look back. Me and the kids are worth every ounce of goodness in our life's. money can not buy that. But good health will make that more enjoyable.

mgndam1603

we missed you at lunch on Sunday and now I know why.

You are really doing the chemo tough, so did I and was no annoyed that others had minimal side effects but thats seems to be the way of it. I sent you some photos of the boys at my High Tea they are such lovely little ones and so wekk behaved.

Good luck with all the legal stuff as well, its so hard to not let that get you down.

Sending you love

Donna