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Nellie0810
Nellie0810 Member Posts: 12
edited July 2013 in Health and wellbeing
Has anyone experienced an emotional breakdown half way through treatment? The day I was told I had aggressive breast cancer that was in my lymph nodes was the worst. After the initial shock, I went into survival mode. I felt the uncomfortable awkward silence of those around me and I went into hero mode to make everyone else more comfortable. I was upbeat and positive and frivolous. Now I am 10 weeks into chemo, I am bald and fat and miserable. Everyone thinks I am okay now which is probably why I now have time to reflect on what is happening to me. I am having an absolute meltdown. My husband and I are talking divorce; seriously! Am I crazy or am I entitled to review my life? Am I a bad person for wanting more out of life??

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  • annie58
    annie58 Member Posts: 108
    edited March 2015
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    Hi Nellie, What can I say Nellie, It sounds like you have hit the wall. We all keep our happy faces on because we dont want to upset anyone but somedays its just too hard.Its good to have a rant and do a bit of venting. The ladies on here have all been through it at some point and are so supportive to each other. Sometimes family members just dont get it even though they are trying hard to understand.I would suggest you go and see your doctor who can refer you on to a counsellor. Or maybe your breast care nurse can help you get some help.This journey you are on is not a simple a to b trip, it goes on and on and on and you just need some TLC to get you to your next resting point. We are all thinking of you, Annie
  • dmed
    dmed Member Posts: 158 ✭
    edited March 2015
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    Hi Nellie. Sorry to hear your on this journey .i also had a meltdown during my treatment sort help from my gp and a psychologist and sort help from things i inever would have thought like mediation mindfulness and having control over my body and treatment. Joining a support group has been very good as well.this site as well is so good to blog and get answers . Wish you all the best. Be kind to yourself. Love Deb.
  • Janey235
    Janey235 Member Posts: 1,206 ✭
    edited March 2015
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    Hi Nellie,
    I think most of us have been in your boat during our treatment. I have had the hardest cries in my life during my treatment and I'm sure I'll cry many times again before its all over. I kept myself strong for my family and friends but it all caught up to me about the same time as you. I went to see a counsellor which is something I thought I'd never do but she did help so give it a go, can't be any harm. Remember you are human and you need to let out all those pent up emotions. As Deb and Annie said, be kind to yourself and we are all thinking of you.
    Love Janey xxx
  • Janey235
    Janey235 Member Posts: 1,206 ✭
    edited March 2015
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    Hi Nellie,
    I think most of us have been in your boat during our treatment. I have had the hardest cries in my life during my treatment and I'm sure I'll cry many times again before its all over. I kept myself strong for my family and friends but it all caught up to me about the same time as you. I went to see a counsellor which is something I thought I'd never do but she did help so give it a go, can't be any harm. Remember you are human and you need to let out all those pent up emotions. As Deb and Annie said, be kind to yourself and we are all thinking of you.
    Love Janey xxx
  • Deanne
    Deanne Member Posts: 2,163 ✭
    edited March 2015
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    Hi Nellie
    I am also 10 weeks into Chemo and have had a bad weekend feeling angry about all the things I am missing out on and feeling as though no one understands what I am going through.
    I feel as though everyone else thinks that it's just a matter of completing the treatment and then getting on with life. That immediate rush of support that I received initially seems to have worn thin and yet I still feel as though I have a mountain to climb with each cycle of Chemo and a long way to go before the end of treatment.
    I am sick of hearing people say, 'Halfway already, it's going so quickly!'
    That said, I tried something different yesterday afternoon which I was very sceptical of at first. I tried meditation. I had tried this a few years ago when attending counseling for a stressful situation. It did not seem to help back then but it has helped me now.
    I felt all the stress and frustration just go away and a wonderful calmness that I have not felt since this all began. I was then able to step away from the whole situation and realize that I was feeding the anger and frustration with the way I was thinking about things.
    Breast Cancer has altered our lives and so many aspects of it all seem out of our control. It is awful, and it does effect our future and we can not change that. But we can control how we think about it and not let it poison our whole life.
    Counseling can help you and your family to cope with the changes that you are all going through. It might be worth a try.
    Don't let the cancer take away all that is good in your life.
    Thinking of you and hoping you find a way through this tough time.
    Deanne xxxxoooo

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