hate mothers day
yes i hate mothers day well i do this year im stuck here at home by myself im angry and weak and tired and teary and noone to talk to i even rang life line but hung up because there was a queue. i was supposed to go in the mothers day classic and i cant im too weak today and its wet anyway. everyone else has and they are all pumped up and happy and im here crying my eyes out and im so so angry with the world ive just had it my mum is miles away and doesnt even think to come up to me OH NO!! its always i have to go to her. im angry with her too. ill go there later when my hubby gets home from work . he was called in at 6am because someone was sick and there was nooone else. I have no children because a syupid bastard hurt me when i was young and i was never able to have kids ..i lost dad 4 weeks after i found out i had breast cancer earlier this year we were going to walk today together and now hes gone and im here and im rabbling and angry and sad and crying and i havent anyone to talk to. i wonder when ill ever be happy again im so fed up. sorry to unload but i just had to do something
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I am so sorry that you are feeling so down. Is the sun shining where you live? Can you sit outside and soak up those beautiful rays? Do you have a pet you can stroke? Can you put on your favourite music? These things never fail to lift my spirits. Although I am so grateful for my beautiful little 6 year old daughter, I am also very sad that she will be left without a mother so young, as I have advanced secondary cancer. CANCER SUCKS! Please be strong Terry, I am sure you are loved by so many people. My prayers and good wishes are with you today. XXXX Cathy.0
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I am so sorry that you are feeling so down. Is the sun shining where you live? Can you sit outside and soak up those beautiful rays? Do you have a pet you can stroke? Can you put on your favourite music? These things never fail to lift my spirits. Although I am so grateful for my beautiful little 6 year old daughter, I am also very sad that she will be left without a mother so young, as I have advanced secondary cancer. CANCER SUCKS! Please be strong Terry, I am sure you are loved by so many people. My prayers and good wishes are with you today. XXXX Cathy.0
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Sometimes "special"days end up being sad days for many people.I'm sorry to hear you are having a downer.You have your pink sisters to talk to -we understand about bad days.Just have a good cry,wallow in it and then write the day off.Tomorrow will look abit better.Take care,sending hugs - Tonya xx
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Hey Terry
I am glad your spirits lifted as the day went on. It can be such a joyous day but it can also be such a hard hard day. I don't even remember my mothers day last year. I know I was into my chemo and not in a good place so that is what I remember. I can assure you that next year will be better and if not you will have grown from all this and be stronger and will make it a better mothers day because every single milestone becomes huge for us because we have made it and we are here to celebrate it with others or on our own, doing big things or just lil things. I was so happy this mothers day to be alive and well again and to see my kids and grandkids and my mother inlaw and give her a big hug and say happy mothers day to her and to think of my mum with some happy thoughts and wish her well. Plus to get to say happy mothers day to all them mums out there whether they have kids, dogs, cats, birds, chickens, cows or whatever they are mums and have someone to love and be loved, just like you.
Your pink sisters hear you and know exactly where you are coming from. I can remember a few very very angry days throught my journey but it passes and you move on to the next phase and you deal with that and the next and the next until you reach that light at the end of the tunnel and you have survived that very bumpy ride so hang in there and come back and chat whenever you need us.
I also know that Cancer Council Hotline is another good source when we need to reach out. I think they are 131120.
Thinking of you and wishing you nothing but good thoughts and good health.
Lots of love, Mich xoxoxoxo
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thankyou so so much guys
Ijust read my blog back today and had a chuckle. goodness i was angry wasnt I ?. Yes it was such a hard day and I was feeling so so miserable. but you know at the end of the day my darling god daughter/neice rang and came to see me which she always does on mothers day and birthdays and christmas etc and brought a huge bunch of flowers and a heartfelt card with a huge essay on it sayingt how much she loved me . OH DEAR I broke down and hugged her and cried and told her how much it meant to me. How beautiful how special i may not have kids but I have 2 god daughters and 10 neices and nephews who i adore of course a few are going to be extra special but what i mean to say is Im not alone.
Im feeling a bit better today ( day 6 ) and managed to get out and have a coffee with mu hubby tonight which was so so nice. Next week will be better and Im going away to Goolwa for a few days compliments of the OTIS foundation. Im so looking forward to the break and the sea air. I plan to walk and rest and read and cuddle my beautiful man for 4 wonderful days .
Thanks all for caring
PS you know how i was angry because I was supposed to walk the MOthers day classic with my Dad and he went and dies on me ...well my neice said in a couple of weeks when Im stronger we will meet at the place and do the walk together and then have a leisurely Brunch together just her and I ...how lucky am I
cheers
Terry
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Your niece sounds amazing-what a darling. But you must have been a wonderful aunt to her as she was growing up.What goes around,comes around.So I guess Mother's day ended alot better than how it started.
Tonya xx
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I know by now you will be ok as we communicate often on Facebook Terry. What is great is the rant you had, I love it.....it helps to be damn honest and put it out there that life is a real challenge at the moment, and our emotions are all over the damn place. We chat about it often! I recall having the day on my own, Im not a Mother, and as you know Im ok with that, and my Mum is in S.A. Some days I lose the plot and other days Im outside in the sun happy and ok. I l am pretty good these days at "Bouncing Back", but hey, I have to be good at something (smiles) xx Love Bel
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Hi Ya Bel
I was thinking of you the other day and how is the radiotherapy going??
I do also hope you had a nice few days with Tracee. Im alright getting a bit stronger ready for the next rounds of chemo on Wednesday ( well as ready as I can be ) I am so hoping they will be better than the last 4 rounds. OH Yes I forgot to tell you at my work they are going through a huge restructure ( RDNS) it was on the news and all. It affects all the middle Manager Nurses like myself and its been an extra worry for me. Im not there and i feel so helpless. I dont want to have to think about it ...geez I have to concentrate on myself andf healing but I also HAVE to care because otherwise I wont have a job to go back to AAAGGHH!! . i just cant get it right this year can I ?
First day of my holliday last week my Boss rang me to keep me informed. Im in 2 minds on one hand i need to know whats happening but on the other hand Im not strong enough to make a decision next week let alone all this stuff. there are 14 of us involved . My position has gone and all the level 3s have to reapply for the 10 positions remaining. One part of me doesnt give a (^^&)&)*_) the other half says I must make the effort or I wont be considered for anything and I maybe sorry down the track....GIVE ME A BREAK !! HUH??? oh well ill think about it next week, maybe contact the UNion..anyway another rant !! lol cheers Terry
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Wishing you a great day
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Wishing you a great day
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Wishing you a great day
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