How do people adjust ???

helen anne
helen anne Member Posts: 265
edited October 2016 in Newly diagnosed

Hi everyone

I need to talk about returning to work for a quick minute. 

To give you some background...last October, I was to start a new job but the week I was notified I got the job, was also the week I was diagnosed with bc.  I did not even start until mid-May and it's been pretty full on.

I'm having some difficulty adjusting to work and was wondering if anyone else has experienced this?

I luv my job and the staff/mgr were extremely supportive while I fought bc and very welcoming.

I think the problem is me - I feel so upset that I am no where near the level of capacity I use to be.

I get frustrated that I can't seem to do what I did before in terms of work output.

I'm only working part time.

Would appreciate any suggestions....

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Comments

  • adean
    adean Member Posts: 1,036 ✭
    edited March 2015

    Helen ann.

                           My goodness I to feel like this, this week as we are very short staffed at work at the moment and I would normally jump in and work with the girls but cant phsically,lift shower the patients, The guilt I feel is terrible I even said to my boss I feel bad as I sit at the desk or walk around to see everyone rushing or doing double shifts. I know eveyone is understanding but its hard when YOU get PEOPLE  say arent you lucky work lets you do this , like come in late. IM LUCKY ARENT I HA.  I find though I push myself at work when I shouldnt and dont go home when Im stuffed, like Im trying to prove Im still the same or Im trying to give back for all the patience and understanding and time off from work. BUT you know I think we probably are better people as look at us know we question everything and are probably pains in the but we should accept ourselves as we are and think its a cog in the wheel of our journey and we are here.

                                                                                                       Adean xxx

  • helen anne
    helen anne Member Posts: 265
    edited March 2015

    I'm glad I'm not the only one feeling like this!  I had had a particularly bad day at work (the first bad day ever) when I posted this but I was glad I did.  I think it verbalised my fear that I'm not capable of holding a good job anymore.

    I had quite a meeting with my team that day telling them I felt like I was failing them all the time...silly I know,

    I know I'm extremely capable at any job, but the unfortunate thing I had lost 3 jobs just before I was diagnosed(because unknown to us I was extremely ill at the time!) and I fear losing this job...dumb I know.  But how do you handle this return...to a normal life?  How do you get over this anxiety that you're not as good as you were?

    I don't know....but I do know something darl - I'm happy to be here to be whinging about it!  LOL!

    Next time we have coffee we can whinge together!!! LOL

    Luv ya

    Helen

     

  • helen anne
    helen anne Member Posts: 265
    edited March 2015

    Your reply is extremely intuitive.  You're SOOOO right Tonya!  I am trying for "perfection" instead of being "normal"....silly isn't it.  I think I have a little more anxiety about this than normal because the last 12 months work history prior to getting this job was terrible (for the first time EVER in my life)....First I was retrenched from a highly responsible job, then I tried 2 other jobs doing more simplier work but got sacked each time - and upon reflection we now know that at the time unknown to me or hubby I was actually very ill - the cancer was there gripping my body and I couldn't concentrate, made stupid mistakes and couldn't keep up!  No bloody wonder!

    You know what - I had forgotten this was all new...I think I am being too hard on myself.  After all I have to say quite honestly work has been fantastic, in keeping the job open and allowing me to return slowly...but still there are times I feel like a failure - but actually when I think it through logically, I think this is all about my anxiety about losing a job again.

    I'll try to be a little less hard on myself (I have always had that problem) and coast along and just do what I can.

    I so appreciate your reply....thanks sweetie.

    Hope all is good with you.

    Luv H

  • helen anne
    helen anne Member Posts: 265
    edited March 2015

    Wow moving from one country to another !!  That's awesome but scary...well done to you for finding a job and settling in.  I do hope you're enjoying living here in ozland!   Thanks for your insights - I think sometimes it takes another person's thoughts and view at your situation before you do actually recognise and acknowledge you're being too hard on yourself!  Seems I have been - perhaps thats partly because I tend to be impatient....maybe I wanted to be full steam ahead with work not realising it would take a while.

    I promise I will be easier on myself and take each day as it comes.

    Thanks again Janet and keep in touch.

    luv

    Helen

  • helen anne
    helen anne Member Posts: 265
    edited March 2015

    Wow moving from one country to another !!  That's awesome but scary...well done to you for finding a job and settling in.  I do hope you're enjoying living here in ozland!   Thanks for your insights - I think sometimes it takes another person's thoughts and view at your situation before you do actually recognise and acknowledge you're being too hard on yourself!  Seems I have been - perhaps thats partly because I tend to be impatient....maybe I wanted to be full steam ahead with work not realising it would take a while.

    I promise I will be easier on myself and take each day as it comes.

    Thanks again Janet and keep in touch.

    luv

    Helen

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