Surreal

Ali78

Conversation with my GP and Diagnosed with breast cancer yesterday at 46 years old. When they called and suggested I have a support person attend it was a bit of a give away. However i  was still hopeful it was all benign. This is the very beginning of my journey in which many incredible women have been. I am seeing a surgeon today and further scans and tests to follow to determine staging and treatment. 3am and I can't sleep with so many what ifs running through my mind. I would love to seek advice for this incredibly early stage, what questions to ask my doctor? What self care did you do that you found helpful? What supports did you have in place that worked for you? What would you do differently if you could? I guess I am in a land of limbo for a few weeks and desperately trying to have a positive focus on what's in my control. 

arpie

So sorry to see you joining us here, @Ali78 ... we can all remember when they 'got the news' ..... I was out on my kayak, fishing (having already made a 'follow up' appointment after my biopsy) so when the GPs office rang me & suggested I book an appointment .... I knew too.    It is so confronting and confusing (as you look & FEEL healthy) but this little sucker is growing sneakily without our knowledge .... so needs to come out.

Where abouts are you?  (Suburb/city/town)  We may have members nearby who can point you to specific support groups and services in your area.  (Go to your profile & just add your region.)

Whack up any questions that you may have .... we'll do our best to answer them honestly and help ease your journey.   I'd suggest you listen to the Charlotte Tottman podcasts of her own diagnosis/surgery/recovery - she is a specialist Breast Cancer Counsellor who was diagnosed herself about 5 years ago - and she was surprised that her own reactions were different from what she'd thought they'd be, given her conversations with her clients!  She is very easy to listen to - and she now knows exactly what it is like 'as a patient'.
http://www.drcharlottetottman.com.au/my-podcast.html

Re Questions to ask - this is out of the Breast Cancer Booklet put out by Cancer Australia 
https://www.cancer.org.au/assets/pdf/understanding-breast-cancer-booklet


The standard treatment for breast cancer caught early and if the surgeon obtained clear margins around the tumour is lumpectomy followed by radiation and possibly hormone suppressing meds. Some may require chemo.  Not everyone goes thru all those treatments tho.

IF you don't feel comfortable with your surgeon today, don't be afraid to ask to see a different surgeon. You need to be totally at ease with your surgeon.

Does your surgeon work in the Public System as well as Private? If you go Private for surgery, ask for a Fee Quotation.  I went private for surgery (with a fairly large $$ gap to pay, but I had the surgery just days after meeting the surgeon!)  Then I went public for both my Radiation & Oncology, with no fees. 
Ask for a copy of the pathology report (ALL reports), as even if you can't understand it at this stage, you will have it for future reference.  Your pathology report (after your surgery) will define your future treatment.
If you have radiotherapy at a private centre there may be a big out of pocket expense, ask to go public if at all possible. Your surgeon will refer you to a Radiation Oncologist and also to a Medical Oncologist. 

Also, ask them what treatment they would suggest if it was their mother/sister/wife .... How long you'll be in hospital .... 

Check out this thread - it may cover a few of your questions already ..... definitely take someone with you to ALL your meetings until your active treatment finishes.   Also consider recording them on your phone so you can go over it again later - as it is impossible to remember everything that has been said.   Then you don't have to take notes (as you miss bits then too, when writing stuff down.) 
DO take a list of questions with you (even 2 copies - one for them & one for you, so you can tick them off as they are addressed.) 
https://onlinenetwork.bcna.org.au/discussion/23477/a-big-welcome-to-all-new-online-network-members#latest

Self care - I just did what I love doing, right up to the surgery day & then as soon as I was able - I got back to it afterwards!   You need to keep yourself busy once you are able .... It may take a while to get back to 'normal routine' but just take it slowly ..

Try not to get ahead of yourself with the 'what ifs' ..... and definitely stay away from Dr Google - as a lot of the info is totally out of date or not even relevant to your own diagnosis xx

Take care & all the best for today xx

Just found this, for making the 'next day' easier ..... get it all ready the evening before! 


And other Self caring tips from a buddy who is a psychologist xx

Cath62

Hi @Ali78, big breaths for all this. These first few weeks are overwhelming. You have now joined our little club and none of us want to be in it but here we are. It's great to reach out and continue to do so as you need to.

My advice is to take one day at a time. There is much to process and the doctors have to get all the information first to be able to treat you correctly. It takes time. It does feel better when you have a treatment plan but sometimes the whole plan comes together after surgery. Be patient and trust the medical people. 

I had my husband come to my appointments and I always had a note book. The questions you ask depend on what you know now and what you want to know.  

I told a small group of friends at the start. Just know some friends may be overwhelmed too and family and friends can react in ways we don't exist. 

In terms of self care. I walked, did yoga, meditation, ate well and lots vegetables and fruit. I am not a big sugar fan so I didn't really hard to give that up. I just did things l liked doing so I was busy. Keep busy so you don't dwell on it all. Easy to say and harder to do but it is true. 

Once you have your appointment today you will know more. This is step one. After surgery you will know more again and what the next step is. Feel free to update when you get more information but for now deep breaths and don't get ahead of yourself. Stay away from Google too. It really isn't helpful at all and there is much out of date information. 

Hope your appointment goes well. Best wishes