Surreal

Thank you everyone for your suggestions and personal experiences. I've written them down in my journal. I have a full day of tests tomorrow MRI, CR and full bone scan. These tests do not worry me. I have Chrons disease and have had more MRIs than I'd like to admit. The limbo waiting period is not a fun place to be but I realise it's part of the journey. I will have a plan come 2nd December at my next surgeons appt. My husband will be away however my mother-in-law is coming with me. My mum died of endometrial cancer 4 years ago and my Dads prostate cancer is trending in a negative fashion. I was unable to have children due to complications with Chrons disease, however I have a beautiful relationship with my 16 year old step daughter with whom lives with her mum. 
So I am trying to keep myself busy. Busy with work, I work within community and find it incredibly rewarding. I love exercise and smashed out a spin session last night...infact I am doing a course to be a gym instructor. My sleep isn't great  but I'm trying to get it back to normal. Focused on well-being, keeping busy, wirk, gardening, beach walks with my dalmatian, yoga and meditation. I feel like a roller-coaster this week some says I feel like I've got this other days I'm a mess. I had to stop HRT last week and no doubt that is playing its part....perimenopause and hormones have a lot to answer for. 
Overall, I am positive and just keep on keeping on xx