Struggling tonight

FiFiK
FiFiK Member Posts: 16 ✭
in Newly diagnosed
I know I'm not alone in this journey but tonight I'm really feeling quite lonely. Just wondering what other people do when they are feeling this way even when they might be surrounded by supportive family and friends. Night-time is always the hardest because I live alone and have little to distract me. 
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  • arpie
    arpie Member Posts: 8,203 ✭
    @FiFiK - I reckon we've all struggled with feeling lonely at some stage on our 'journey', even if surrounded by family & friends ..... it is great that you have reached out, so we can help prop you up xx We've 'been there, done that' xx 

    This is a mongrel disease & most of our family & buddies have NO REAL IDEA of the depth of emotions that we go thru as we navigate treatment & recovery xx

    We had a big thread call 'Night Howls' back in 2018 that many of us contributed to - specially in the wee small hours where out treatment/meds kept us awake at the most ridiculous hours ... maybe we need to 'bring it back to the front'??
    https://onlinenetwork.bcna.org.au/discussion/19269/night-howls/p1

    Sometimes I wake up even now at 'silly o'clock' and I get up & watch a bit of TV (or something that I've recorded) to hopefully make me 'drop off', but I try not to go online, in case it 'keeps me awake'  ....

    I also take some medicinal Cannabis Oil that helps me 'nod off' .... with the hope I don't wake up early again!   Make sure you let your team know that you are having difficulty sleeping, as it really needs to be addressed xx

    Consider chatting with our helpline (Mon-Fri) on 1800 500 258 - and mention it to your GP too, if you are between appointments with your BC team ... 

    take care, sleep tight.
  • Locksley
    Locksley Member Posts: 978 ✭
    @FiFiK Hello do you have any furry animals at home.    When I was going through treatment my little dog would sit with (or) on me to keep me company.
  • Locksley
    Locksley Member Posts: 978 ✭
    I would try and walk my dog every day too.   Some days it was only a few houses instead of the block.  But it's all movement. 
  • FiFiK
    FiFiK Member Posts: 16 ✭
    @arpie Bringing the NIght Owls thread to the front sounds like a fantastic idea. I know I'm not alone with the swirling thoughts that happen in the wee hours of the night. Maybe I should investigate the Cannabis Oil route. I've thought about it before but haven't really researched the benefits. But if it helps with sleep it would be very welcome.

    It is a mongrel disease and I know my friends and family want to help but when I am around them I feel that I have to 'fake' being okay. Its silly really because I'm sure they would be more than understanding if I fell apart. Its just something I have been used to doing over the years and am continuing a well worn path. 

    Thank-you for your suggestions. Its reassuring to be reminded that there is help and that this online community is so supportive during the darker moments of this journey.
  • FiFiK
    FiFiK Member Posts: 16 ✭
    @Locksley It does help having a reason to get up and go for a walk. There were definitely days i would have rather not get up and walk but he insisted we go and usually i felt better for it. Sometimes though it was a bit of a struggle. This disease can make simple things quite the challenge.
  • Locksley
    Locksley Member Posts: 978 ✭
    I found it a bit difficult to ask for help but once I let my guard down and did ask for some help it was OK.  I was OK.   
  • Locksley
    Locksley Member Posts: 978 ✭
    I had someone who knew me quite well say to me once that I would always be the first person to offer someone else help so it was OK to give myself permission to receive help.  
  • Locksley
    Locksley Member Posts: 978 ✭
    Here's a picture of my fur baby after I came home from a chemotherapy session.   
  • Julez1958
    Julez1958 Member Posts: 1,271 ✭
    Hi @FiFiK
    Some ladies have found posting  at night on here helps ( as well as reading other people’s posts ) .
    I have a rule of no electronic devices in the bedroom so never did that but in the beginning after my diagnosis I would sometimes have a good cry at night .
    Definately try some  counselling with a professional 
    Also I did a mindfulness course a few years ago and took it up again.

    I have a friend who had stage 3 bladder cancer 15 years ago and is a survivor and he said I could call him anytime for a chat as other cancer survivors “ get it” in a way others can’t - I never ring in the middle of the night but I know I could if I needed to.
    We chat a lot and he is a great support.
    There are also support groups around - do you have a McGrath breast care nurse- they might be able on point you to one.
    Finally have a listen to the  Dr.  Charlotte Tottman podcasts on here - I found them very helpful.
    Take care and post in here anytime - we will do our best to support you .
  • Julez1958
    Julez1958 Member Posts: 1,271 ✭

    hi @Locksley
    What a gorgeous dog!👏👏
  • Locksley
    Locksley Member Posts: 978 ✭
    @Julez1958 thankyou.  He is 14 now.  He still looks young like a pup.  

    I would also look at and post on night owls when I was wide awake during the night.  It's a bit like the night time radio dj at night. Someone else is usually awake as you are.

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