how to stay positive on new diagnosis and journey
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SamL890
Member Posts: 3 ✭
Hi everyone,
I am a bit of a stalker..reading everyones comments, stages, feelings etc..but I think I need to face realtiy and share my story too as I am finding it a little tough to stay focused and positve.
I am 53, I went to my regular 2 year mammogram screening (15/8, a bit later than the text to remind me...like about 5 months) and I got a call back, a bit shocked but shrugged it off as "she'll be right" and took myself off to the call back (30/8). After the 3D mammogram, ultrasound, physical exam and then biopsy, I was a little concerned, no, I don't think I could say concerned, I felt more uncomfortable being there. But the day started with 6 ladies in the waiting room and went down to 2 of us by the end of the day.. but again..."pfff I'll be fine", I don't feel anything wrong!!
Well, went back to the screening place 6/9, on my own...again thinking I'll be fine!!.. I got my results and was completely shocked...the nurse says, well Sam, you have what we call DCIS..and then as she talked I heard blah blah blah.
So off to my GP the next day to find a breast surgeon..."is this really happening to me"... and booked an appointment in 2 weeks 21/9. I went home and cried and then hopped on here and began my research. I am a practical person, I want to know my plan of attack so I can be in control...wow I am learning this is not the disease for plans or patience!!
Anyhow, met the surgeon 21/9, finally with my husband this time, and was booked in next week 26/9 to cut the area out and send it to pathology.
Patholgy results 9 days later, 5/10, tells us I actually have invasive breast cancer...on a good point, it is small 1.4cm on a not so good point it is grade 3. So, back in for another Operation 10/10 to biopsy my lymph nodes and take another exision of my boob and off again to pathology, will get the results next week 19/10.
I just feel like I am trying to run through quicksand, I'm in no control, and every step I take forward to work out what we need to do, I seem to fall back 2 steps. Every time I am told only 5% get a bad result, only 1 in 20 get called back, usually 95% find the results are postive.... I am just over being in the minority, I am too scared to even think positive this time because I dont know how I get myself back up to fight this, whichever way it ends up going.
I've read a lot of your stories and know I we all have different feelings and journeys, but to me I'm feeling quite lost and scared and I just can't focus, and that is just not who I am!!. I feel terrible that my business is suffering, my son is doing his HSC right now and this is such a disturbance for his studies, my husband has suffered from mental illness and I'm worried about his state of mind, and all the while my lymph node biopsy wound is bloody killing me!!
Well, I may get a wrap for writing too much, but I feel a bit better just putting it out there and I think I will cherish the knowledge that I am not alone here.
I am a bit of a stalker..reading everyones comments, stages, feelings etc..but I think I need to face realtiy and share my story too as I am finding it a little tough to stay focused and positve.
I am 53, I went to my regular 2 year mammogram screening (15/8, a bit later than the text to remind me...like about 5 months) and I got a call back, a bit shocked but shrugged it off as "she'll be right" and took myself off to the call back (30/8). After the 3D mammogram, ultrasound, physical exam and then biopsy, I was a little concerned, no, I don't think I could say concerned, I felt more uncomfortable being there. But the day started with 6 ladies in the waiting room and went down to 2 of us by the end of the day.. but again..."pfff I'll be fine", I don't feel anything wrong!!
Well, went back to the screening place 6/9, on my own...again thinking I'll be fine!!.. I got my results and was completely shocked...the nurse says, well Sam, you have what we call DCIS..and then as she talked I heard blah blah blah.
So off to my GP the next day to find a breast surgeon..."is this really happening to me"... and booked an appointment in 2 weeks 21/9. I went home and cried and then hopped on here and began my research. I am a practical person, I want to know my plan of attack so I can be in control...wow I am learning this is not the disease for plans or patience!!
Anyhow, met the surgeon 21/9, finally with my husband this time, and was booked in next week 26/9 to cut the area out and send it to pathology.
Patholgy results 9 days later, 5/10, tells us I actually have invasive breast cancer...on a good point, it is small 1.4cm on a not so good point it is grade 3. So, back in for another Operation 10/10 to biopsy my lymph nodes and take another exision of my boob and off again to pathology, will get the results next week 19/10.
I just feel like I am trying to run through quicksand, I'm in no control, and every step I take forward to work out what we need to do, I seem to fall back 2 steps. Every time I am told only 5% get a bad result, only 1 in 20 get called back, usually 95% find the results are postive.... I am just over being in the minority, I am too scared to even think positive this time because I dont know how I get myself back up to fight this, whichever way it ends up going.
I've read a lot of your stories and know I we all have different feelings and journeys, but to me I'm feeling quite lost and scared and I just can't focus, and that is just not who I am!!. I feel terrible that my business is suffering, my son is doing his HSC right now and this is such a disturbance for his studies, my husband has suffered from mental illness and I'm worried about his state of mind, and all the while my lymph node biopsy wound is bloody killing me!!
Well, I may get a wrap for writing too much, but I feel a bit better just putting it out there and I think I will cherish the knowledge that I am not alone here.
Tagged:
9
Comments
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@SamL890
A cancer diagnosis is always a shock, no matter how much we know about incidence etc. Getting to grips with it is difficult and being a planner, normally a help in most crises, doesn’t work so well. Things can unfold quickly or slowly but can change. The part of treatment you fear most can work out quite easily and something unanticipated flattens you temporarily. The advice to take one day, one step at a time is hard to accept but it’s practical. Deal with what’s on your plate today, don’t anticipate tomorrow. And look after yourself - your well-being and capacity to cope are hugely important to you but will also assist your son and husband. A counsellor to assist you at this time may be very helpful. Many capable, independent people find the advice of a disinterested but experienced and understanding other helps the mind and emotions while your medical team deal with the body. Your GP or other medico should be able to advise. Best wishes.6 -
Hi everyone,
Have just joined this group, I should have done it before.. all mine started on the 1st June this year. with Lobular cancer diagnosis.with an ultrasound...and the rollercoater continues....feeling out of control etc. It is very scary..
I have had 2 operations, one as a matectomy, as they weren't big, but a lot of them are unseen until pathology,implant at the same time, looked great, fantastic recovery, implant was amazing, only to discover the was a 7 cm tunour growing into my side from breast tissue, so 2 weeks later in again, out comes the implant, more surgery, and another 2 tumours in my side..then in goes the implant again..
Lymph nodes clear..Hooray!!
I am up to my 13/25 radiation treatments...
I started off hysterical, and ended up pragmatic so 4 1/2 months in, had 5 weeks off work for the surgeries, and now a day off a week while i am having the radiation as I am really wiped out, and radiation burns. (currently working from home as I have radiation in the middle of the day..( pleanned it that way, and St George Hospital is 7 mins drive)
All I can say is ask lots of questions, read information on informed places like this, and be kind to yourselves. I tried to push myself too hard too soon, as is my way, it doesn't work with this.
The post surgery brain dead thing is interesting.. so are those damn drains, which can be really painful.
Have someone close who really understands you, and don't worry if your house is dirty or you can't make the bed, you can do it all later, when you are feeling better. Get friends to do what you need, like change the sheets of give you a meal if you can...binge watch some TV shows you always meant to watch, I couldn't even concentrate to read...
The only thing that matters is you and your recovery. Look after yourselves, and do the best you can for wellness. I was on the wellness path as I have autoimmune dises, dindn't know I had had this for over 4 years, and it was driving the autoimmune..autoimmune has stopped, even though I am having radiation.
.
One of the things I did in the middle of it all was buy a wine fridge ...why? Well for the party I'll be having of course then it is all done..!! ( have something to look forward to!)
And you are not alone! x
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Welcome @SamL890 - you have done the best thing in just putting it all in writing which in itself can relieve some of the diagnosis stress.
I know your screening place feeling all too well - all other ladies were sent one direction (one by one) and I was sent off to the other direction and waited - I had to sit and watch them head off home. A bit worrying, to say the least.
Try to take things one step at a time, let the system take over as happens once on this treadmill. Try to have someone with you for all appointments as no doubt you will miss something. Make lists of questions for your medical team and don't be afraid to insist on clear answers. Be your own advocate.
We all understand what you are going through so feel free to ask anything or simply vent.
Thinking of you. 💖4 -
Hi @SamL890, I don't have time to write much of a reply right now but just wanted to thank you for telling your story - I can relate to so much of what you said, particularly the surprise diagnosis at the callback, and the weird feeling one gets when you're one of the last ones there. Sending you a big hug and the most helpful thing for me has been taking everything one step at a time and not looking too far ahead. My surgery journey is done, I'm heading into chemo journey now. I hope to hear soon that your surgery journey is done and dusted.3
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Hi SamL890,
I really understand how you're feeling and my heart goes out to you.
I also found out recently that I have breast cancer, Lobular, in both breasts, it's such a shock.
I'm going to see a plastic surgeon tomorrow about my operation to have double mastectomy, as I have no choice in this matter.
But I'm slowly coming to terms with it all, especially with the help of the wonderful ladies here on this forum.
You'll find the specialists will decide what's best for you, trust them, but ask questions and DEFINATELY take someone with you to support you and write answers etc. down.
I know the waiting's SO hard, but the 19th will come, only 4 days to go, and whatever the result, try to remember, they have come a long way with breast cancers, and your specialist will know what to do, just go with it.
I was in a bit of a turmoil about a double mastectomy but now, it can't come soon enough, and I'm even thinking I'll go "flat" , life's more important, I might get prosthetics to wear in a bra when I venture out,
and whatever drugs I have to take or radiation, I'll face that when it comes.
I see your on the central coast, not far from me, I'm in Sydney. I'm seeing a specialist at the Mater Hospital.
Do you come down here? Or you seeing someone up there?
Good luck and know you're NOT alone xx
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Hey @SamL890 I just read your journey and it seems we are on a very similar path
I'm 52 went in for my routine mammogram only to get called back two days later for biopsies..I have 2 in my left breast and it has gone to my lymph nodes I have met with my surgeon and this week has all been about MRI and PET scans to check for more
I completely understand how your feeling when you say you want to plan and be incontrol of this because it's exactly how I'm feeling..
I feel like every step isnt quick enough for me and I'm really struggling with the process.
I think by reading everyone's journeys on here has shown me we arnt in control of this thing and as hard as it is it really is out of our control to a certain point ..
Hang in there ,and you will beat this thing .
Please feel free to reach out ,my journey is still in the beginning but we are all here for each other 🩷🩷
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It was great to read your stories since I have just been diagnosed and feel everything that you are feeling. I have just posted myself and it does calm me a bit reading about others journeys. It's also good to read the advise from others that are a bit further into their journeys. I am also a planner and now feel that I will not be planning much at all for a bit. We do really just need to trust in the professionals and go along for the ride I guess. I also hear what you are saying Kyles1 when you say that nothing is quick enough. Since I have found out I feel like I have an entity growing inside of me and I just want it gone - I swear I can feel it now (although that could just be the extreme bruising from the 4 core biopsies 😂 I had on Thursday). You have the mammogram and wait for results, then the ultrasound and they say come back in two days for the biopsy and then wait for results with drs visits in between. I know it hasn't been that long, but all the waiting feels unbearable. I do know there is so much more testing and waiting as well since I am only at the very beginning. I wish you all luck and hope to hear from you all again.4
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WOW! Aren't we all a lovely bunch of new "bosom buddies"
Thanks everyone so much for taking the time to write your comments and stories, it’s definitely a day at a time process isn’t it! My brother and his family came to visit yesterday and that has brightened my mind a bit, so today is a good day. I am learning to go with the flow and try just get on with my life while this is in the background...and I suppose that is the goal...keep it in the background (although a bit hard to do when its "breast cancer month" and every second ad on TV or radio is about it!!) But triggers are something I suppose we will live with for the rest of our lives.
I wish you all good luck in your journeys and I will try my best to follow through this with you all together and bring my support for you all too. I'm not a very good forum person, I get a bit overwhelmed haha but I think the support here is amazing and if I've been given this path I may as well embrace and share with others together xx
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