how to stay positive on new diagnosis and journey
Hi everyone, I am a bit of a stalker..reading everyones comments, stages, feelings etc..but I think I need to face realtiy and share my story too as I am finding it a little tough to stay focused and positve. I am 53, I went to my regular 2 year mammogram screening (15/8, a bit later than the text to remind me...like about 5 months) and I got a call back, a bit shocked but shrugged it off as "she'll be right" and took myself off to the call back (30/8). After the 3D mammogram, ultrasound, physical exam and then biopsy, I was a little concerned, no, I don't think I could say concerned, I felt more uncomfortable being there. But the day started with 6 ladies in the waiting room and went down to 2 of us by the end of the day.. but again..."pfff I'll be fine", I don't feel anything wrong!! Well, went back to the screening place 6/9, on my own...again thinking I'll be fine!!.. I got my results and was completely shocked...the nurse says, well Sam, you have what we call DCIS..and then as she talked I heard blah blah blah. So off to my GP the next day to find a breast surgeon..."is this really happening to me"... and booked an appointment in 2 weeks 21/9. I went home and cried and then hopped on here and began my research. I am a practical person, I want to know my plan of attack so I can be in control...wow I am learning this is not the disease for plans or patience!! Anyhow, met the surgeon 21/9, finally with my husband this time, and was booked in next week 26/9 to cut the area out and send it to pathology. Patholgy results 9 days later, 5/10, tells us I actually have invasive breast cancer...on a good point, it is small 1.4cm on a not so good point it is grade 3. So, back in for another Operation 10/10 to biopsy my lymph nodes and take another exision of my boob and off again to pathology, will get the results next week 19/10. I just feel like I am trying to run through quicksand, I'm in no control, and every step I take forward to work out what we need to do, I seem to fall back 2 steps. Every time I am told only 5% get a bad result, only 1 in 20 get called back, usually 95% find the results are postive.... I am just over being in the minority, I am too scared to even think positive this time because I dont know how I get myself back up to fight this, whichever way it ends up going. I've read a lot of your stories and know I we all have different feelings and journeys, but to me I'm feeling quite lost and scared and I just can't focus, and that is just not who I am!!. I feel terrible that my business is suffering, my son is doing his HSC right now and this is such a disturbance for his studies, my husband has suffered from mental illness and I'm worried about his state of mind, and all the while my lymph node biopsy wound is bloody killing me!! Well, I may get a wrap for writing too much, but I feel a bit better just putting it out there and I think I will cherish the knowledge that I am not alone here.357ViewsSign in to react to this post10Comments
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