Insulting and Judgmental Comments
Comments
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@klf, I'm so sorry you are going through this. I am now 4 years post surgery and diagnosis. It is a pretty scary and overwhelming time when you are diagnosed with cancer. Even more so when you are waiting to undergo a surgical procedure that is as big as this.
I underwent a bilateral skin sparing mastectomy and immediate (DIEP) reconstruction. You are right, this is a big procedure and recovery is lengthy. Having said that, the final results are worth it. Post op, there was lots of bruising especially to my chest (I had two drain tubes in my chest and two drain tubes in my tummy. These were removed while I was in hospital). The bruising took a couple of months to resolve. Initially, the flap felt firm (not soft, squishy and jiggly like breast tissue) but became softer after a couple of months. I have a large scar from left hip to right hip and my poor belly button is very, very scarred. The scarring continues to improve and there is lots you can do to improve the look and feel of scar tissue. I wore surgical compression garments- a bra and undies (the undies look like super duper granny pants but are oh so comfy and supportive). I purchased these before going into hospital and started wearing these the day after the operation. I purchased these through Breast Care Victoria (the lady who runs this business is a breast care nurse). Once the wounds healed, my plastic surgeon recommended massaging the scars (tummy and chest) with moisturising cream (there are lots of products you can use so your plastic surgeon is the best person to guide you on what to use and when to start massaging your scars).
I think it is important to acknowledge that surgery for breast cancer changes how your body looks and feels. It is ok to give yourself permission to feel sad and to grieve that. I highly recommend the BCNA podcast that discusses body image and adjusting to changes in your body post surgery.
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Dh5Wy83 thank you so much for your response. I'm really glad to hear that the final results were worth everything you went through. And thank you for sharing all off this info, it's really helpful and I'm already feeling much better hearing that the outcome was positive after it being so hard to get through. It definitely sounds like a long and challenging recovery, particularly the adjustment to all the body changes. Thank you again and well done to you for dealing with all of that! Really appreciate your help.3
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Hi @klf
I read your comments last night and they have been playing on my mind. I too have had several comments from well meaning friends, “ you’re so lucky you get a tummy tuck and new boobs at the end”. “You can buy a new wardrobe at the end of it”.
Funny, I don’t feel lucky to be going through a life changing traumatic (imo) experience of chemo, mastectomy and radiation. Like I’m going to be a new and improved woman at the end of it.
It really does make me angry, this is NOT a place any of us want to be and we have little choice, accept the treatment or suffer the consequences.
Wishing you well in your healing @klf.
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My sister wasn't thinking, when i told her about my Breast Reconstruction.
She said oh your getting a boob job.
Some people, Including me, sometimes just don't think.2
