Tears and more tears
I have had the best christmas with my family, we played games, watched movies, sang singstar and ate wonderful food. I got out of hospital on the day before Christmas eve after spiking a fever of 39.5 days earlier and thinking I would have to stay in for the christmas period, but after begging and promising to take my antibiotics I was let out much to my joy.
So why am I feeling so blue, each evening my legs and hands tingle, my heart becomes heavy, I hyperventalte and become fidgity then the tears start. I just do not know what is wrong with me. My last Chemotherapy is tomorrow so I have many reasons to be happy but I am filled with doom and gloom. Radiation starts on January 23rd I am so nervous but know I am on the home run now. Does anyone else get these overwhelming anxieties? My husband thinks I am just tired from all the hype of Christmas and having over done things. I feel stupid for feeling so blue and crying like a baby for no obvious reason.
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Hi Kathryne, Are you on any meds ie Arimidex or Tamoxifen. (Maybe not whilst you are on chemo) But all the other drugs for chemo do some "funny" things to our bodies. I am with your husband - Christmas is just such a busy time and when you are on chemo too!!!!!!! Just go with the flow for now - if the tears fall well let them. You are going through" hell" at the moment with lots of excitement of the festive season thrown in. It is nearly 7 months since my chemo finished and I am exhausted from Xmas!!!!! It does take a while for the doom and gloom to subside. It is now just on 1 year since my second diagnosis and I am now starting to feel and think a "bit normal" again. Unfortunately it all takes time. Good luck with your last chemo - it really is a great feeling when it is all finished. XLeonie
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You are ok,just go with your emotions,your family will understand..I felt like I had a complete personality transplant when I had chemo.I was crying one minute and screaming the next- those drugs do funny things to your head. I think you will find that radiation isn't anywhere near as hard as chemo.It's tedious going everyday(except weekends)and you get abit tired towards the end.It's hard to have to front up again to another chemo round knowing how crook it makes you- even if it is the last one.It's not easy being bald in summer and having head gear on that makes you feel like combusting.It's not easy coming to terms with your altered body and it''s not easy realizing you've just had cancer and what might have been.Gosh,if all that's not enough to make a person cry then I don"t know what is!So cry whenever you feel like it. Good luck for tomorrow and I'm sure you'll be feeling alot happier in 3 weeks time when chemo effects wear off.
Tonya xx
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Sorry to hear you are having such a hard time. Congrats on finishing your chemo that's one hell of a ride. Radiation will be easier on you. Looks like we should organise another coffee when you feel up to it. Just take one day at a time and rest rest rest.
Love Sarah xx
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Sorry to hear you are having such a hard time. Congrats on finishing your chemo that's one hell of a ride. Radiation will be easier on you. Looks like we should organise another coffee when you feel up to it. Just take one day at a time and rest rest rest.
Love Sarah xx
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Great to hear you had a lovely christmas with your family, but as for feeling blue, is just yet another side effect of bc, i too felt the same, i got through all the treatment and 3 months later fell in a heap, somebody just had to look at me, and i was in tears, thinking of myself as a strong person, who could never suffer fom depression, i eventually spoke to my doctor, who informed me that a very high percentage of ladies/gents with bc go through depression, he advised me to go on a low dose of anti depressants, (the prescription sat in a drawer for a month), before i decided to give it a go... The best thing i ever done, the doc said it would take about a year, and yep nearly a year to the day, i came off them, and have never felt better. 3 1/2 years after diagnosed, i am going from strength to strenght, so you will get through this, just make sure you have you time, and if it dosnet get any better, mention it to your doc. good luck with the radio, in my case apart from being really tired the last 3 weeks, it was a daudle compared to chemo. so good luck, and let us know how it goes with you. Take Care Moira
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Thank you TonyaM
My last chemo went well today and the Dr has given me medications for when the bone pain starts in a couple of days. I am looking forward to the easier part of this journey being radiation, I never expected my Chemo to be as bad as it has been although today I was told by the Dr and Nurses that I have had it worse than most. So maybe the moody blues is just this all catching up on me now. Thank you for your encouraging words and support.
Kathryne
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Hey Leonie
All went well with the last Chemo today the nurses were happy to see me finish but sad to see me go and were full of hugs as I left which was nice. The only medications I am on are for pain = oxycontin, oxynorm, endone, Gabapentin then others for side effects = pariet, Dexamethasone, pramin, lorazapam and emend for three days after chemo and neulaster 24 hours after chemo. I am looking forward to radiation being a easier journey but for now I guess all I can do is let the tears come when they want to come. Thank you for your kind words. Kathryne
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Hey Sarah,
Hope you had a wonderful Christmas. Chemo is all over now
just have to get past the next few days with all the bone pain, I am not looking forward to it as I already have muscle and joint pains which make it hard to walk even to the bathroom. I think meeting for coffee/lunch soon would be lovely once Roxie and I are over our chemo -she had hers yesterday. I found this great Chinese restaurant at Springwood Hotel and Towers if you want to come this far down, it is all you can eat for $20 and its so yummy you order a meal form the menu each and it is shared in the middle on a lazy susan and you just keep ordering new meals till you can eat no more, let me know what you think maybe it is too far for you guys to come. Thanks for your kind words and I look forward to meeting again in the new year.Love Kath
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Hello Moira
When I think about everything that has happened I do not really think I have cried since I was diagnosed so maybe it is catching up to me now. The Dr has given me Zoloft for my anxiety and I am meeting with a councellor to discuss my cancer and how it makes me feel so maybe that will help some. I am pleased Chemo is over with and now to get through Radiation which starts on January 23rd. Thank you for your words of advice and encouragement it means a lot to me to have so many wonderful ladies on here who care enough to show support to each other. Kathryne
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Hi Kathryne,
I went on zoloft, and am still on it. ( seretonin reuptake inhibitor ..SRI )
The Psychiatrist told me they help reduce " perception" of pain, hot flushes and increase circulating seretonin, therefore mood. I sleep better now too. I am on 50 mgs, sometimes take 25 mgs.
I was up to 150 mgs at one stage, daily.
I probably would have stopped them after 6 to 12 months, but, I did a few things, and have more discomfort/ pain in hands and arms. I find the zoloft, takes the edge off discomforts so i do not dwell on them, and be miserable.
Maybe the chemotherapy and other drugs, disrupt our neurotransmitters, plus all the added stress at this time too ?
Take it easy. You have been through an ordeal and still not over yet. Time will help you adjust. It is ok to cry. You have to come to terms with many things/ loss/ grief. Hopefully, in time you will also see some blessings from the experience.The vasodilation of blood vessels is not fun ! I had severe flushes, many times a day. I have adjusted to going in second gear now; sometimes third if i have a good day; very rarely fourth, and never fifth !
Good luck. Maybe have a celebration after you finish Radiation and Chemotherapy, to acknowledge going through it, and the beginning of a new stage in your life.
Fingers crossed, Kathy.
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Hi Kathryne,
I went on zoloft, and am still on it. ( seretonin reuptake inhibitor ..SRI )
The Psychiatrist told me they help reduce " perception" of pain, hot flushes and increase circulating seretonin, therefore mood. I sleep better now too. I am on 50 mgs, sometimes take 25 mgs.
I was up to 150 mgs at one stage, daily.
I probably would have stopped them after 6 to 12 months, but, I did a few things, and have more discomfort/ pain in hands and arms. I find the zoloft, takes the edge off discomforts so i do not dwell on them, and be miserable.
Maybe the chemotherapy and other drugs, disrupt our neurotransmitters, plus all the added stress at this time too ?
Take it easy. You have been through an ordeal and still not over yet. Time will help you adjust. It is ok to cry. You have to come to terms with many things/ loss/ grief. Hopefully, in time you will also see some blessings from the experience.The vasodilation of blood vessels is not fun ! I had severe flushes, many times a day. I have adjusted to going in second gear now; sometimes third if i have a good day; very rarely fourth, and never fifth !
Good luck. Maybe have a celebration after you finish Radiation and Chemotherapy, to acknowledge going through it, and the beginning of a new stage in your life.
Fingers crossed, Kathy.
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Thank you for sharing and your encouraging words, despite not much sleep last night and only a short nanna nap today I am feeling a little better today. Thank you Kathryne
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Hi Kathryne
Happy new year to you and am sure 2012 will be a much better year for you. The radiation although every day just doesn't make you feel the way chemo did.
I love Chinese so am sure I can rustle up some interest among the ladies at Strathpine. We meet on Weds 4th so will sound them out. Keep well and hope to see you soon.
Love Sarah x
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