newly diagnosed - IDC

CarrieP

Hi Everyone, 
I am so glad to see such a supportive group of people. I have recently been diagnosed with invasive Ductal Carcinoma in my right breast 15MM in size, my left had a lump but it was noted as benign fibroadenoma.
My GP says from the report that it has not reached my Lymph nodes so that's positive, but at the moment all I am doing is stressing and going through bouts of crying (which i know is all normal, but all I can think is how I tell my 2 girls (age 10+11)
I have been booked in to see the hospital next Tuesday 8th Dec, so the wait is making it worse as all I can think is what if is has spread and the GP got it wrong.
I would really like some advice as my GP as not gone into much detail and I think Dr Google is making it worse.
my breasts are not that big to begin with so saying it is 15MM is probably big in my breasts, I am prepared to have a double mastectomy as don't want the likelihood of it coming back, but again is that my call or do i wait for the oncologist and specialist next week.
thanks all for listening
x

AllyJay

Hi there @CarrieP...welcome to the group nobody wants to join. All the feelings you have at the moment are so very normal. I remember when I was diagnosed, I was in a total panic...why are these people waiting, why am I waiting...while they sit and twiddle their thumbs this sucker is growing. Quick...do something! However breast cancer is not just one disease, there are many different types and many stages and grades. Each responds to different treatments and in different sequences. Until your team of specialists meet together to discuss and plan your treatment, all you can do is wait. Very hard for sure. However, once they have a clear plan, you'll feel as if you've been loaded into a very big slingshot, and launched off at great speed. This appointment, that test, this treatment, that something else. Use this waiting time to get yourself as organised as much as you can. Round up the troops of those willing to help you and your family and circle the wagons. Start freezing meals if you want, although with summer here now, you might be able to eat more uncooked meals such as salads. Remember to breathe and avoid DR Google as much of the information is outdated, or wouldn't apply to you and your cancer. Others will hop on soon and give their advice too, but remember, we are here...we've all been where you are now, and we have your back. Come here for advice, come here for a cry or a rant at the unfairness of it all. We understand. Sending a big (((hug)))...Ally.

CarrieP

thanks so much Ally, I so appreciate all your advice. I am just trying to breath through this and stay positive x

arpie

Hi @CarrieP ... yep ... just what @AllyJay said ....

The waiting just sucks SO MUCH and the whole thing just mucks with your brain BIG-TIME!!  Grr

I know I was exactly like you, weepy, concerned that it was growing fast ... but once I saw the surgeon, and he was able to do the op just a few days later ..., I felt great relief. After the surgery, I felt even better still!  You only get your final plan after the pathology results come in and then the Oncologists ‘take over’ and in discussion with you, will have the final say.  Your surgeon may ‘suggest’ what he thinks will happen, but mine got it wrong!  LOL

re the kids, check out this link, it may help you in your approach .... there were ‘comic books’ available for kids to read, but they aren’t available just now.  I don’t have kids, but from what I’ve read here, they are usually quite resilient ... just keep your news ‘age related’ so they don’t get too scared .... others will jump in here, I reckon, and help you out. Xx
https://www.bcna.org.au/understanding-breast-cancer/talking-to-family-and-friends/telling-your-children/

I think many of us think initially to get both breasts off .... I was lucky and just needed a lumpectomy, rads and TABs ..... I was guided by my surgeon.  

Whereabouts are you? State/Town? You can add this to your profile .... other members nearby may be able to assist you with services in your town/area.

Take Deep breaths, calm that thumping heart .... try and keep as busy as you can - it is good for body and soul ... the kids will pick up on your emotional state and change in normal habits ..... so maybe try not to change your routine too much!

if you find you are not coping and are getting really anxious, speak to your GP about chatting with a professional who may be able to give you ‘coping mechanisms’ ......  When you are at the hospital, ask about a Breast Care Nurse (like a McGrath Nurse) .... she will be your first port of call for queries and support before and after surgery (apart from us!)

Here’s a link for all sorts of documents to help explain different terms, eg pathology etc.
https://www.bcna.org.au/resources/booklets-and-fact-sheets/

Take care, lean on us when you need to ... we ‘man the desk’ even over Xmas ... so there is always someone to chat with xx

all the best for your appts next week.  Hugs coming your way xx

CarrieP

thanks so much arpie x

arpie

We have some lovely ladies in WA,  @CarrieP - I will tag a couple - @Annie C  @JJ70 ... they should be
able to give you the good oil on services there xxx

Afraser

Dear @CarrieP
Good advice above, can I emphasise to lay off Dr Google? When I was first diagnosed, while waiting for my biopsy results, Dr Google pretty well convinced me I had Inflammatory Breast Cancer. If I had, nothing I read would have helped or given me sensible advice, and as it turned out I didn’t have it. It just added to the waiting misery. Listen to your oncologist and specialist first would be my advice - one of the big temptations is to preempt everything in the hope of being better prepared, but often it means you’re making plans for things that aren’t actually going to happen or not a good idea. Taking things day by day is hard but it’s a really good discipline. Same with your girls - they don’t need to know everything at once. Your prognosis is good, so once you know what treatment you and your team are agreed on, you can let them know the most immediate bits, particularly that treatment is designed to make you better. Let them know what they can do to help - practical things. Others on the network I am sure can share how they managed with their children. It surprisingly does get better, in your head and your heart, when you start treatment. Best wishes. 

FLClover

Hello @CarrieP
What all the ladies above said. It’ll be tough at first, but you’ll be fine. I also had a 1.5mm tumour in my right breast, and a lump in my left which I was told was probably fibroadenoma, but turned out to be a tumour. And another tumour in rightie to accompany the first tumour. So bilateral and multifocal. Yay for me. I was a complete mess at first, but doing really well
now. I got a lot of support from this forum so you’re already going in the right direction. 

Good luck with everything, and don’t google!! 

Mon Xx