Panic attacks in the wee hours
tsjlhm
Member Posts: 14 ✭
in Night Howls
Hi, is anyone awake? I keep waking up when the house is quiet every morning and I just feel so panicked I can’t even lie still. I want to scream and cry. I feel so frightened. Just diagnsosed. Anyone awake too?
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Good morning lovely. Try not to panic. What you are feeling is normal. All those cancery thoughts running through your head. This is the reason Night Howls came to be. Lots of sleeplessness goes along with the ride I am afraid. It will get better. You will get through this mess and you will be ok. Promise.
xoxoxoxox0 -
Thanks. Feeling a little better. I’m out walking it off. A friend suggested swearing if slow breathing didn’t help so that gave me a giggle. She reckons the trick is to enunciate and be creative.
Thanks for support. It feels like dumping on people but it really helps right now.0 -
Chin up love 💖 I spent many weeks without proper sleep after my diagnosis. My mind would NOT shut off. I couldnt possibly process all that was happening, all that was going to happen, and worry about what might have happened if I hadn't found out when I did. I started a journal. It helped a little to get it out. And helps now to read how far Ive come in 7.5 mths. Be assured you are never alone. Reach out, and someone will offer a hand. And know, it will get easier. Hugs xoxoxox1
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As the others have said, your response is quite normal. I remember the days just after my husband had a massive heart attack and was in ICU on life support, I would sit in the hospital courtyard (when I was kicked out for a procedure to be done) and watch people going about their daily business. I wanted to jump up and grab them by the throat and yell "How could you...how could you all look as if everything is normal...stop...stop right there...my husband may die and you're just strolling around as if nothing has happened!!!" Then forward to 2016 and I was in hospital for detailed tests for another medical issue. My breast cancer was found incidentally on a chest CT scan. That same feeling returned from before with my husband. Even my hearing was affected. It felt as if I had been listening to really loud rock and roll on my earphones and had then taken them off. My ears were ringing, but also felt as if they were stuffed with cotton wool. Voices sounded like when you lie in the bath with your ears submerged and someone talks to you...a sort of muffled echo. I had feelings of panic. Everybody else was walking about as if the world was normal. Well it wasn't. Cancer was in my breast and was trying to kill me. The doctors seemed in no great hurry. They were faffing about with more tests, more meetings, more planning and in the meantime the cancer cells were multiplying, growing stronger, and bigger, and spreading...and they didn't seem overly concerned. Maybe that extra day would make the difference. Maybe that day would be one day too many....We all had similar thoughts racing through our minds, I'm sure. Nights were worse...all the rest of the world was sleeping...and here I am, with a deadly enemy in my body..and I want it out...now. But as in any war, the generals don't just hand out machine guns to the soldiers and point them in the general direction of the enemy and say "shoot...shoot any baddies you come across". Your medical team will be assessing your cancer, knowing it's weak spots as well as its strengths. Then they will decide what weaponry and in what sequence to use it. They know what will be best for you, and once the ball starts rolling you will feel less panicky. You will feel that at last "something is being done about it". We all get it, and we've got your back. Ally.6
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I found reading...not googling helpful.
Other ideas...you can download some apps with relaxation talks to help you. The more you do them the better you get at it.
Mindshift is one.
Smiling minds is another. Both free apps.
CALM is also good...this one has some parts free but others for nominal fees.1 -
Isn't it interesting, that physical sensation of fear? I wake, not remembering a nightmare or bad dream, feeling like I am fleeing from lions. I can't run so, obviously, I'm doomed.
Thing is, I feel this fear in my body, not my mind. It's not in my head, it runs up and down my torso.
This is now a familiar but unwelcome addition to the great cancer cluster fuck. I try to logic my way through it (there are no lions in the bedroom) but I'm yet to figure it out. Mxx1
