Feeling afraid and silly at the same time

MsAnxious Member Posts: 2
edited December 2019 in General discussion

Hi all,

I'm new to this forum.  I'm awaiting results from my core needle biopsy and the fear is almost paralysing.  I think I can go through a cancer diagnosis and treatment as long as it is not advanced cancer.  My ultrasound and mammogram showed that my lymph nodes look clear, but I can't get the worst case scenario out of my mind.  Does anyone know if the cancer can spread to other parts of the body but not the lymph nodes?  Like I said in the title, I feel silly for being so fearful when I haven't even got a diagnosis!



  • Blossom1961
    Blossom1961 Member Posts: 2,394
    Feeling anxious comes with the territory unfortunately. Don’t make yourself feel worse, we have all been in the same boat. Every year we go through scanxiety as we wait for our results. Try to keep occupied doing anything except google researching as that is never helpful. Deep breaths. I refused to know the stage my cancer was at just in case I felt it too tough to handle. Keep us informed and ask any question you like. Sending big hugs.
  • primek
    primek Member Posts: 5,392
    We've all been there and know  how the mind just goes into overdrive. Try to just focus on each day. Don't look up too much yet. Have you been given a time for results? Get out of the house. Go out for coffee. Keep busy. 
  • kmakm
    kmakm Member Posts: 7,974
    My understanding is the path out of the breast is via the lymph nodes. I think it is reasonably safe to assume that if your lymph nodes are clear the cancer is contained in the breast. As far as we can tell. Why don't you give your GP a call tomorrow and ask? Or send your breast surgeon an email.

    In the meantime, try hard to focus on the hour in front of you. Keep putting on foot in front of the other, and distract yourself. Silly Christmas movies, exercise, friends, meditation, whatever it takes. What you're feeling is very normal, it will pass. If it threatens to overwhelm, try taking a deep breath in for four seconds, holding the breath for seven seconds, and then breathing out for eight seconds. Do this five times, it will help your nervous system to quieten.

    Hang in there lovely. Big hug, K xox
  • suburbangirl
    suburbangirl Member Posts: 123
    Hi @MsAnxious
    I remember very well wondering if I might have cardiac failure waiting for my results, my poor heart was just pounding away minute by minute, day by day, waiting for results. Apart from what the other lovely ladies have suggested, I did 'google' ....but only for relaxation exercises online.

    I would lie down and do one, and my poor heart would pound away through it and my brain ran ,a million miles an hour. I would do another, and realised I was slowly calming down.
    I tried to do this every day, usually in the afternoon, as that was my worst time for some reason.

    The time WILL pass, you will get your results, and you will be ok! You will also get a plan (even better!), which gives you back some control, as you know what is happening.
    Ask or say anything here, it's a safe place.
    Wishing you all the best,
  • Anne65
    Anne65 Member Posts: 425
    @MsAnxious Sorry that you have had to join us but you are in wonderful company & surrounded by loving friends! Great advice from all above. It is early days so your head is spinning. It is like learning a new language but until you have a diagnosis, there is no use worrying over something you dont know yet. One thing that is proven is that stress fuels cancer but it doesn't cause it, so you are not doing yourself or your body any favors by worrying. I used to think to myself, every time I worried, I would create a new cancer cell & that sure made me stop!!
    Things can change all the time during the cancer journey so until you have some concrete facts, try to focus on other things to keep your mind of it......Christmas is a good distraction at the moment! You could always ring a breast cancer nurse via the website to get some advice & calm your mind. Stay strong & positive & relax. All the best with the results. love & hugs xx
  • Emma17
    Emma17 Member Posts: 46
    @Anne65 Please provide citations to quality peer-reviewed studies/evidence that support your statement that it '...is proven that stress fuels cancer...'.  A new diagnosis is an extremely challenging and stressful time and your posts to new members often warn that stress fuels cancer. 
  • Beryl C.
    Beryl C. Member Posts: 270
    There is a research topic called 'Pyscho-Oncology' - which studies/researches the psychological impact of cancer. I read a few research articles and learned that it has been shown that the very fact of diagnosis creates symptoms of stress - not sleeping, forgetting, lack of ability to focus, imagining the worst and unable to shift your focus etc. The stress is a result of diagnosis.  Afraser thanks for your very reader friendly post.
  • Afraser
    Afraser Member Posts: 4,388
    We’d all agree with that @Beryl C. It’s just that being stressed may not actually have any impact on developing cancer. Dealing with stress by smoking, drinking, eating poorly, gaining weight and generally being unhealthy may increase your cancer risk. I remember being told when I was pregnant that I should try for a ‘cow-like’ state - no stress, no worry. I didn’t think much of that advice at the time and no person, ever, felt relaxed and comfortable when diagnosed with cancer. Reducing your stress is a sensible and worthwhile aim, but don’t stress over unavoidable stress! 
  • kmakm
    kmakm Member Posts: 7,974
    A study came out earlier this year that had proven that stress contibutes to the spread of cancer, but not that it causes it.


    However it has been studied in mice, not humans!

    It's broadly advisable as an overall life health strategy to avoid stress where possible of course! My life is regularly highly stressful. I now try to step out when it gets to much. I'm getting better at minimising it.

    And hey @MsAnxious, there's no such thing as a silly feeling in a cancer diagnosis. All the feelings are perfectly valid! It gets better, I promise. K xox
  • arpie
    arpie Member Posts: 7,667
    @MsAnxious. I am so sorry to see you here and hope you get your biopsy results ASAP to allay your own stress levels, as we all know they go thru the roof at this point in time.  How wonderful if they come back clear!!  At this point in time tho, it is what it is and no amount of worrying will change that!  :(   It sounds trite, but once you have your biopsy results, your surgeon will give you  an idea of your ‘plan’ and  if it is required, I hope it is minimal surgery/followup. xx

    Absolutely, it is important to try and avoid as much stress as possible whilst airing for results or in recovery from cancer ... I just went fishing EVERY DAY this time last year and the year before when waiting for my biopsy and diagnoses from the callback  ..... cos it blocks EVERTHING OUT .... I hope you are able to do similar, to distract you.

    Hmmmm, Anne65 actually SAID that there is no proof that stress causes cancer ... it was just a personal comment she made that she felt that her own stress may possibly be fuelling/causing new cancer cells.  We ALL know the effects that stress has on our day to day activities .... 

    take care, try and chill out in this heat ... and all the best to everyone in the lead up to Xmas. xxx

  • Keeping_positive1
    Keeping_positive1 Member Posts: 555
    edited December 2019
    Hang on a minute everyone!  It is possible the results will come back benign for you MsAnxious.  I had an anxious wait back in 2006 when I needed a core biopsy and the results were all clear, it wasn't cancer at that point in time.  I wish you well and truly hope that your results are also clear, and not a cancer diagnosis for you.  
  • Emma17
    Emma17 Member Posts: 46
    edited December 2019
    @arpie @Anne65 wrote that it is proven that stress fuels cancer, hence my query about quality peer-reviewed studies to support this assertion.  I have studied this and quality evidence is lacking.
    A new diagnosis is inherently stressful; advising a newly diagnosed person that stress will fuel their cancer is rather bold if one is not an expert in the field.  This was not presented as an opinion but as a fact.  I ponder how many doctors, be it surgeons, MOs or GPs, would extol this factoid to their newly diagnosed patient.
  • kezmusc
    kezmusc Member Posts: 1,544
    edited December 2019
    Welcome @MsAnxious,

    The waiting for results is torturous.  I am currently waiting for yet another set of biopsy results..... tick tock, the time goes slow.  Keeping distracted is about the best you can do.  Nothing you did, or do now, will change the outcome stress or not.
      It's totally and absolutely normal to be anxious and worried.  
    The fear is real and justifiable and your brain will think up every horrible thing it can for some strange reason. 
     I have all my fingers and toes crossed for a negative result lovely.  
    All the best.