Cancer Type

Gal

I have just found out that my breast cancer is HER2 negative grade 3. I am waiting to see oncologist to see what treatment will be. My surgeon said I will have chemo first then radiation therapy. I would love to know if there are any other ladies in the group that have a similar diagnosis as myself. I am very nervous about having chemo and tell myself it is for the best but fear all the side affects. I realise everyone reacts differently to chemo but feel a bit lost. I have a wonderful support group. I guess what I am trying to say is how have other ladies coped with there treatments. I feel ok at present but feel once treatment starts it will really bring home to me this is real and is happening to me. I have always been pretty tough in life but this one has knocked the socks of me. 

kmakm

Totally normal response Gal, and many many people here have had exactly the same.

Many of us have ideas of chemotherapy that were formed in the past, the quite distant past for some of us. Chemo has come a long way since those memories were made. It's far more nuanced than it used to be, and the medications for side effects are much better. My mother had breast cancer at my age in 1986 and spent two days vomiting non-stop after each dose. I didn't vomit once. Retched once, but didn't vomit. Click on my name to read the details of my diagnosis.

Almost certainly you'll feel really tired and fatigued, and almost certainly your hair will fall out. You'll probably have headaches a bit and your tastebuds will change, food will taste odd. And you might feel some nausea from time to time. Those are the five main things that seem to happen to everybody, no matter what type of chemo they have.

I can't emphasise enough how we all react differently to the same drugs! I had breakfast on Thursday with @Kiwi Angel who had the same chemo as me. I had trouble with my hands, she did not. She had trouble with fluid retention, I did not.

Some people are able to work through their treatment, others take a few days off, and some take the time off their jobs completely. It's just so varied.

I had a massive panic attack before my chemo started. I was very very scared. And also traumatised by family events of the previous five years. We all bring baggage into our treatment and that can affect how we feel prior to starting.

BUT! Once you start, you will be amazed how routine it all gets. The first one is the scariest because of the unknown. Subsequently the absence of that fear makes it a lot easier.

So my advice is to do the things that distract you from the anticipation. Hang out with your friends, exercise, throw yourself into a hobby, watch some tv. I watched a bunch of stupid sitcoms that briefly stopped my noisy brain from yelling. Meditation and mindfulness are excellent as well. It doesn't come easily to me, but after trying a few I settled on an app on my phone called Headspace.

Be kind to yourself, a little selfish even. Now is the time to put yourself first. Keep the stressful people and events to a minimum. Accept help once chemo is underway. That's a big one for a lot of us here to get over! We're often the ones who are fixing all the problems and taking care of everyone else! It was a very hard thing for me to do but it was invaluable.

When people ask me now how I coped with chemo I say fair to middling, good bits, bad bits. I perceive that I fell into the broad band in the middle that neither got off lightly or suffered too badly.

That you've got a wonderful support group will be great. And we're all here for you on this website. Take some deep breaths and hang in there. Big hug, K xox

Gal

Thank you Kmakm. Yes I have lots of family issues, which I am trying to let go. Mainly with one of my sons who doesn't talk to me hence I don't see my grandchildren. Life has been a roller coaster ride most of my life but I have dealt with it the best I can. This is the next part of my journey I guess bit shitty though. Thank you for your support. I miss my best friend so much at this time, she has advanced Vascular Dementia only 68yrs. I have to travel for my treatment as I live about 2hour drive from the hospital. I make jewellery and sell it at the markets but haven't been interested in it the past month. Yes I need to take lots of deep breaths and try to chill a bit I think and stop reading to much. Cheers xx

kmakm

Yes, definitely stop reading! It's really not that useful at this point.

My family history is difficult as well so you have my sympathy on that front.

@Annie C makes things for the markets up her way. We've got some creative sorts on this forum. Have a look at the Creative Corner discussion, gorgeous.

https://onlinenetwork.bcna.org.au/discussion/14979/creative-corner

So yes, try to chill out, do some things you enjoy, treat yourself. You'll get there, we've got you. K

Afraser

Depending on what what chemo is recommended, as @kmakm says, outcomes are really variable and you can’t know precisely how you will react until you start. Pig in a poke, but a necessary one. Assume hair loss, and have a think about scarves and/or wigs. Fatigue is a major potential impact - on how you feel, what you do. Not everyone gets fatigue, I didn’t. Nausea is also variable from mild to severe, or in my case, none again. Anti nausea drugs can help. The first two or three weeks usually set the pattern, although fatigue can be cumulative - there is also a build up of just being tired of the whole thing! I found keeping doing normal things helped immensely, but it does all depend on how you physically react. Physical reaction may also impact your emotional state. You can certainly over-think, or at least think too far ahead. Focusing on Immediate future only may be hard, but it’s a lot better than imagining all sorts of potentially dire things that may never happen. Now is the time to focus on your wellbeing, let go (at least temporarily) things that don’t build your optimism and strength. Very best wishes.

kezmusc

Hi @Gal

Some wonderful advice from the ladies as usual. 

 It is the fear of the unknown and how you will react that's the hardest part and nobody knows when they go into it.  It's one of those suck it and see kind of things.  I think everybody feels the same way until you get started and work out your routine.  I had 3 months AC and 3 months Taxol. ER/PR + HER2 neg

The AC was a bit average but I had minimal issues with the Taxol. I had little fatigue as well.  No major issues with radiation either. I think everyone gets the taste bud thing.  Luckily wine still tasted the same.  LOL.

I kept my hair with the cold cap, worked pretty much the whole way through, ran the farm, renovated my dining room, went to campdrafts with my husband and partied in the bar with the cowboys.  I just tried to keep as normal as possible. 

Sure there are some shitty days throughout but there were a lot that weren't. Once you know which treatment you are on there will be plenty more advice from those that had the same one.

Distraction is the definitely the best way to get through at the moment or else  your brain will play tricks on you and imagine all sorts of horrid things. 

We are here for you.  We all get it.
Lots of love xoxoxo

Gal

Thank you Kezmusc. You are so right about your brain playing tricks and thinking the worst. Yes I have to let it be until I know exactly what treatment I will need. I have had some pretty tough times in my life and survived and not about to let this shitty cancer beat me. There are three things you can do in life and they are You can give up, You can give in, You can give it all you got. Smile and Shine. Will let you know more after I see the oncologist. Appreciate all your responses love this group. Cheers xoxo