Hi everyone, I too am newly diagnosed
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So how do you handle strange comments made by family members? My sister has told me to take large amounts of Vitamin C, that she knows people who have been cured, without medical treatment. Then she says she wants to come and hold my hand when I have radiation. Knowing her, she will want me to give her money. Its not helping, and Im nervous about the radiation starting Thursday. I had found a thread where people talked about 'cures' and now I cant find it, can anyone guide me to it - from a long time ago? Thank you.0
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"Thank you for thinking of me but I am happy to be guided by my medical team" is the polite version.
"If Vitamin C cured cancer don't you think I'd be getting it free from Medicare?" is the somewhat more plain speaking way to go.
Ffs, if she gets cancer I highly doubt she'll be turning her back on modern medicine to live on oranges, limes and kiwi fruit...
Two weeks after my diagnosis I was told to go vegan as it had cured a friend of a friend who'd had six weeks to live but was still alive three years later. I very politely but firmly said "My doctor has told me not to listen to stories like that" and literally walked away.
As for her accompanying you to radiotherapy, just tell her you wish to be private about it but would be happy to meet her for coffee/lunch afterwards one day... if you are!1 -
@Bettyboo
There is a thread called "Did you really say that". The thread is in the Day To Day discussion section. You will read some howlers. All unorthodox of course and all unwelcome. Initially I found the unwanted advice difficult. I would snap (I was one very angry lady). Now I have a stock standard answer (Said very sweetly of course - tongue in cheek!) "Listen sister, when you join the club you can follow the advice / remedy / way out there in space or just plain dumb treatment you are advising me to do". Then I smile very sweetly and say "Toodle Do" and walk away swearing politely under my breath.
My hated piece of advice is "Stay positive" "Be strong". To this piece of useless advice I am not a lady. I use the Kimberley vernacular "How the f**k do you think I've got this f**king far if I was not strong or positive". Floored a few. I was not selective in who copped this - family, husband (silly old sod) and friends alike.
Roll with the flow. They cannot help being stupid and you cannot cure stupid!
Post on this site. I found it to be of reassuring support and warmth. I realised that my thoughts, feelings, fear and anger were "normal, well that is of course if a Kimberley woman is "normal".
Take care and the warmest of Kimberley wishes to you.
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@Bettyboo "give her money" ???
Do you mean paid for supporting you? I have people in my circle who have used my BC to elicit sympathy for themselves. Maybe that's why she wants to be part of it. Either way I would be politely saying I have it under control (whether you do or not). I really like @Annie C's "when you join the club" and following your doctor's instructions as come-backs. This damn thing is hard enough without dodging difficult people. All the best for your radiation.
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Yes thats the thread I wanted, thank you! Thank you for your responses Annie, Kate and J9K.
J9k I have history with this sister, its all about the money of which I dont have a lot, but she finds a way to get it. If she thinks she has been nice, she suddenly makes hints about how much money she has spent. I do think you are right about her wanting sympathy also. I havent responded to any of her posts, so I think she knows Im not impressed, but you have all given me some ideas. I woke up in the middle of the night thinking a good response was much like Kates. If Vitamin C was that good, wouldnt it be prescribed? Her last message, also not responded to, was that she would have trouble holding her breath (for radiation), that it doesnt sound good. Not very reassuring.
Thank you for the best wishes for the radiation, I am nervous about it, but it will be ok, they seemed very nice when I went for my 'training'.0 -
I found the thread, some of those comments are amazing, funny, sad, crazy. You are all amazing!
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