Panic attacks

NotHappyJan

I've just been diagnosed and have an appointment with the surgeon on Friday.  It is my daughters birthday on Sunday so none of my family apart from my partner  and one or two close friends know.

Surgery will be next week.  My daughter is coming over so I can do her hair - trying to keep it together and have hidden any paperwork, etc.

I have also just found out I've got a new job who are waiting for me to advise of my start date (have got at the moment one month up my sleeve).  And....I am also in current position that I am off at the moment and need to work out with what to do there.

So yeah - no stress and no time for this thing called Breast Cancer.!!  So...........just trying to keep calmish,hide from my family and put on the "all good", try not to drink too much and sleep with the aid of sleeping tablets

Sure this isn't anything new  

arpie

Gosh .... you sure have a lot on your plate just now, @NotHappyJan  - and sorry to see you here on the forum with your diagnosis.  

The Journey kit may help you in information as well as keeping all your info/bills/appointments together:
https://www.bcna.org.au/understanding-breast-cancer/my-journey-kit/ 

The ladies here will give you a heap of tips & advice ...... BCNA has a HEAP of info here that may help you in telling your family & friends about it:
https://www.bcna.org.au/understanding-breast-cancer/talking-to-family-and-friends/

Remember -  you don't have to tell EVERYBODY ...... but as you will be having surgery soon, you WILL have to tell some of them - especially the company offering you the job.  If they really want you for the job  -  I am sure they will wait for you.  It is just one extra stress that you don't want at this point in time.

Have you had a biopsy & 'know the cancer type' and where it is?

You should try & get a trusted friend or family member to attend your surgeon's appointment with you - as an extra set of ears & also for support.  I'd recommend you ask if you can record the meeting, for future reference.

One day at a time, deep breaths .... believe in your medical team.  Ask about going as a public patient (even if you have full private cover) as there MAY be significant out of pocket expenses.  ASK about the gaps!!

All the best - I'll be thinking of you - try not to google stuff too much as it may do your head in.  Everybody's case is different from everybody else's ...... try not to overthink it all. xx

kmakm

Ah, @NotHappyJan, I feel you. Not quite the same, but similar.

I received my breastscreen recall letter in November, amidst all the end of year school functions that my four kids had. Two of those kids are my sister's. My husband and I are raising them because 17 months before my diagnosis, my sister died from breast cancer.

I told no one except my husband about the recall. I was diagnosed on Monday, at which point we told all the kids (swearing them to secrecy) because I was not going to be there the next day and night, had the tumour removed on Tuesday, found out on Thursday that I needed a re-excision to get clear margins, threw a huge 18th birthday party for my eldest on Saturday and had the next operation on the following Tuesday. Then we told some people.

Christmas was now 12 days away so I made the decision to not tell the next group until after Christmas. And one friend I didn't tell until late January because she and her family were going on the trip of a lifetime to France.

My breastcare nurse and all the doctors bar my oncologist promptly disappeared for the Christmas break. Then the onc disappeared as I started chemo. I didn't get a chemo education session. They don't run them at Christmas...

Don't get cancer and if you do, don't get it at Christmas...

It's always inconvenient. But there's nothing to it but to submit. Keeping calm is good if that helps you, as is trying not to drink too much! The beginning is so hard but once you have a treatment plan it gets better.

I was very keen on keeping it a secret but was cautioned against it by my breast surgeon and breastcare nurse. They were right. But you get to control who and when you tell.

Hang in there and hang out here if it helps. We're always good for a rant, vent, question and even the odd laugh. Big hug, K xox

PS Congrats on the job!

Sister

@arpie and @kmakm have covered pretty much everything.  My family including the kids, knew from the start, as did my manager at work.  You haven't said what surgery you're having, but you may want to wait until your path report to discuss the situation with your new workplace if the timeframe is going to allow it.  As far as telling friends and colleagues, I told a couple of key close friends and asked them to tell others and keep them updated.  Then I started a blog, gave the details out and keep people updated that way.  

As well as taking someone with you to appointments, you may want to jot down questions as you think of them so you don't forget.

It is perfectly normal to feel overwhelmed.  Take things one step at a time, let those close to you support you and try not to put too much pressure on yourself.  And come back here when you need to rage, ask for info and support, or need a bit of a laugh.

NotHappyJan

Thank you so much for replying your help is greatly appreciated.  I've jumped into private as I didn't hear anything from public marked as urgent.  I do have private cover and the Dr is listed so I sooooo hope all will be okay as we are definitely not financial to cover any surprised.  

Yep Dr Google is definitely better than it used to be, and yes I'm swamped, but open minded.  

I haven't received the Contract for the new job jet so I hope I will be okay im waitng until then (which will probably correspond with surgery date) before I say anything.  

I was freaking earlier and now I so appreciate the peeps like yourself xo

Riki_BCNA

Hello @NotHappyJan, I just wanted to add to the wonderful information and support that the online members have provided, that if you have any questions at all, please don't hesitate to ring the BCNA helpline on 1800 500 258. We have cancer nurses on the telephone that can also assist with any questions you may have along the way. Wishing you all the very best

Sister

If finances are an issue for you, make sure your specialists are aware of it. Many will be happy to reduce the gap or not charge for it.  Also be aware that if you need radiation, it's not covered by health funds - find out costs before going private for that.

arpie

Where abouts (roughly) are you @NotHappyJan - state & maybe town/city?  Some of our members may be able to give more localised advice.

Zoffiel

Probably not what you need to be worrying about now, but it is really important to have a look at the conditions attached to your income insurance--unless you opted out, you will probably have some through your super.  It's a bugger everything has blown up while you are thinking of changing jobs, but then there really is never a good time or this stuff.

If this turns into the full Monty (let's hope it doesn't) and you are off work for an extended period of time, that insurance can make a world of difference so it pays to make sure you are aware of the rules when you start treatment. Sorry, I know that sounds a bit cold, but as someone who was caught out I can tell you it's worth taking care of the practical aspects early as it makes things much easier later. Mxx

kezmusc

Hi @NotHappyJan,

Love the name by the way   Not that this ever comes at a good time, but it wants to land right in the middle of the busiest times.  

My diagnoses came three days before my twin daughters 18th birthday.  I also had my step sons 21st two weeks later, step daughters formal and graduation, then christmas was two weeks after my first chemo.  .  

I so wish I had been strong enough to hold of telling my daughters until after their birthday but there was just no way I could hide what I was feeling at that time.

Definitely check that insurance out as some of the companies class chemo and rads (Hopefully they wont be needed) as outpatient appointments and don't cover them. Crazy expensive.  You can do a combination of both as well, private for the surgery then transfer to public if you need anything else. I did public the whole way and could not have had better care.

The lovely ladies have, as usual,  given you a lot of other great advice. Keep on talking to us.  We all "get it".

All the best 
xoxoxox

Riki_BCNA

Hi @NotHappyJan, I also meant to mention BCNA has developed a range of resources around managing work and finances that you may find helpful. The information resources provide practical information about how to approach your employer and a range of other tips and strategies to help with support that you may find useful in the following link
https://www.bcna.org.au/work-and-breast-cancer/
It is an overwhelming time with lots of information and there is time to decide what is best for you when you are ready