Woke up crying

Danielle49

i have been crying non stop I woke up at 1 this morning crying 
my cat of 16 years died in my arms the day before my foot surgery and I miss him so much 
my male flat mate who is just a friend has been distancing himself .. I know he's not a boyfriend but I'm still immobile on crutches and offering to make me a tea or coffee has ceased .. 
Tomorrow I go in for mammogram ultra sound and blood test .. I think I'm pre menstral and it just feels 100 x worse than normal .. I'm sorry for babbling but it sux I hate feeling like this 

iserbrown

Danielle you are doing it tough with the emotions at present.  Deep breath, pat yourself down it brings you into now. Yes it feels insurmountable but it will improve. The constant in your life, your cat is no longer here to purr and give comfort......that is really a so and so
Take care 

positive3negative

Oh Sweetheart no need to apologise! It sounds like you've been having a really rough time. I hope getting it off your chest and into this forum has helped. 
You probably don't feel much like reading at the moment, but when you do I'd recommend Russ Harris's book 'The Reality Slap'. It's all about dealing with unpleasant emotions and I found it really useful when I was going through treatment. 
I lost my beautiful Tabby just before I was diagnosed. He was 16 too. The loss of a pet is a very special kind of grief and non-cat lovers just can't seem to understand our distress. It helped me to remember that my grief was a reflection of how much I had loved him. If I had never loved him I would not have been distressed, but if I could go back in time I would not have missed that 16 years with him. I'm sharing this thought in the hope that it might help you too. 

primek

My guinea pigs died the day if my biopsy. And although not like one of my 5 cats for cuddliness it has taken me some time to be able to prep veggies without tears. My cats are loved as much as my children. I've lost 5 over 30 years and must say I was heartbroken losing all of them. It doesn't help you were already emotionally raw with your recent diagnosis. I hope your appointment goes well. Know we are thinking of you...and understand...I've shed a tear just thinking about your loss. Kath x (and PS ...men retreat when they don't know what to say)

Danielle49

Thank you ladies so much xx 
you really have helped me ... It's an early start tomorrow so early to bed
thinking of you all and your support xxx

socoda

Hi Danielle, I think the loss of our pets is a heartbreaking experience. They certainly take a piece of our heart with them when they depart. Hoping that your mammogram, ultra sound and blood test went well. Have you thought about adding a new beautiful bundle of fur to your household - giving a forever home to one in need? You probably feel like it is too soon but you aren't disrespecting the memory of your beautiful 16 year old. You are sharing the love you have to give with a deserving creature that will return it in kind. Wishing you happiness, chocolate (for the pre-menstrual symptoms) and the ability to see that you are not babbling - just grieving. Huge hugs to you. Xx Cath

Brenda5

Grieving is a good healthy thing to do but I hate crying. I have an old dog who has already lived beyond the breeds expected lifespan. To help prepare myself I am saying what I won't miss about him. Accidents on my floor, barking, dropping fur, bad breath.

Share

Hi Danielle, just thought I would touch base to see how your trilogy of scans went yesterday. 

It sometimes takes so much out of us to mentally prepare for these tests (just one is enough) and the fact that you are hobbling with your foot and have lost your beloved pet just magnifies things ! 

Best wishes, Sheryl xx

Danielle49

Thank you ladies ... I think they went well ..... The ultra sound guy told me he didn't see anything other than my initial lump but I'm not sure if the sonographers are aloud to say anything !!!! 
I have been eating more since I've come off the end one and targin for my foot so yes lots of chocolate / ice cream chocolate chip cookies !!!! .... They certainly lifted my spirits I've really had no appetite unti recently.  I will try to maintain healthy eating !! 
I go back next Tuesday for test results, plaster comes off on the 9 th march YAY !!!!! 
Surgery on 14 th March then my mum is coming from the US on 22nd March for 3 weeks then hopefully back to work

Cosette

I'm sorry for your loss @Danielle49. I know how painful it is to lose a beloved animal companion.

fairydust

Thank you for your post.  I felt compelled to write and say do not underestimate the toll having foot surgery is having on you .Your body is trying to keep it together no wonder you are feeling emotional. No need to be so  hard on yourself. I too  have a cat and dog and a cockatoo , I love them dearly and would be very saddened by their loss. It just takes time and you will
pick up in spirits