Chemo over - where's the party feeling??
Just putting my feelings/observations into words to people that will understand. I had my last chemo last week.....everyone around me wanted to celebrate, have a party etc - "well now it's over". I was surprised that while I felt relief that part is done, there is still so much more ahead and probably feel less positive now then before the chemo started. Not that I am feeling down and depressed.......just the realisation of "does/will this ever end"?
- Herception infusions every 3 weeks - my job is on a remote mine site so I have been on sick leave since August. How do I now fit this into a week on/week off roster when I return to work? I figured it would be easy so didn't worry about it until now, but the oncologist is only in the clinic on Monday's where I live.
- Re-scans - scary in itself. What if the results show my spot in the vertebrae has grown rather than shrunk!!
- Radiation - starts in January, another 6 weeks of feeling "off", another 6-8 weeks of not working. Then I get to look forward to more radiation later on next year depending on how scans look after the Herceptin has had some time to do it's thing.
- Returning to work - they have been great but where will I fit in when I return? Mine sites change so quickly I am going to have the "newbie" feeling after all this time off. Will I manage the early mornings and long days? Will I be able to pull my weight, or has all this taken too much out of me????
And the biggest question - do you ever feel like it is over if you have secondary, even if it is only one little spot??
On a positive note - I am off to Melbourne for a short holiday (I'm from Townsville, Nth Qld) tomorrow. I had to use a travel voucher for a family holiday to Bali that was booked pre BC diagnosis. Just wish the insurance company could have pulled their fingers out and sorted out my claim and started paying me my wages before I left!!
Best wishes to you all