My Pink Wig

Daphne Violet

Its been about six months since my last round of chemo. Like many, the idea of losing my hair almost seemed harder to face than losing my breast even though it grows back. (The hair that is!)

For me, the worst thing about losing my hair was how public it made my illness. Mainly I just wanted to get on with the treatment without the sympathy of others.

Here's me and my hair after the diagnosis but before chemo began.

This is me preparing for hair loss. I googled "short curly hair styles" and found a gorgeous picture of Audrey Tatou. Obvs don't look like her but I was glad I at least had a bit of an idea for a short hairdo to transition to losing it all.

A friend and I went to the Cancer Council and tried on all the wigs there and they mainly looked terrible - super shiny and screaming "I've got breast cancer and I've lost my hair and now I'm making a pathetic attempt to hide it", or at least that's what it felt like to me.

I also went to a salon and tried on some $500 wigs but they still didn't look very good. Most of them made me feel like a man at a singles night in a bad toupee! 

Anyway, I ended up following the lead of a friend who had had BC the previous year and who had  ordered a stack of fun wigs from ebay. As she pointed out, it was more about going "yeah, I've got Breast Cancer, check out my groovy wig" than trying to pretend that that thing on my head is actually my hair.

I ended up buying about a dozen wigs on ebay, none of them cost more than $20 delivered (they all came from China). Some worked better than others, but at that price I didn't mind if they didn't work so well - I can still use them for dress ups!

This one was my favourite - I had a lot of compliments in it and even wore it to a music festival. Best of all, i didn't get any sympathy from strangers!

There was also the blonde bob that my partner christened "Olivia Newton John's mum"

Which I always wore with a headband as it was just so 'wiggy'

This one was a bit of a go-to. I mainly wore it under a crochet hat in pigtails.

 I also had a claret bob, a rose coloured curly wig and several black and brown wigs! If I was felling uncomfortable in them I would put a hat or headband over them - for some reason people don't seem to think you're wearing a wig if it has an accessory on it!

As soon as i had enough hair, I ditched the wigs altogether. But I'm glad I was able to get some comfort out of them when I needed it.

Daphne Violet

You are very welcome Natasha! It's a tough time so be kind to yourself. If you are interested in buying cheap wigs have a look on ebay. I paid via paypal so wasn't sending my credit card details to strangers.
I just checked that the sellers had good star ratings and never had any problems.
All the best xx.

jandy23

Good for you Daphne Violet. Totally agree about the awfulness of baldness and I never felt comfortable in my $400 wig (even though people told me it looked nice.) I just wanted to hide away at home until my hair grew bag. What a great approach you have taken with the fun wigs. (Not sure if I could carry it off myself though.)  And I would never thought of looking on ebay for a wig. 

I think you look a bit ike Cate Blanchett  in the blonde one btw.

 

Daphne Violet

Thanks jandy23, you made my day! I have to say I didn't always feel able to 'carry it off'. So often I just wanted to fly under the radar and not stand out in the crowd. My best times were either out with complete strangers or with people I knew well. it was the people in between like other school mums that made me feel most self conscious.it was all a good lesson for me though in trying not to get too caught up in what others might think.

AnnaB

I love your solution.  You may as well have some fun with the wig thing. I bought a traditional wig around $350.00.  After my hair fell out wearing a wig was so uncomfortable.  So mostly I didn't wear anything. 

I'm 18months post treatment now and have lost most of my chemo curls.  Prior to treatment I had, even if I say so myself, fantastic thick eyelashes.  These have not come back and my eyebrows are very grey and thin.  Somehow I just didnt' think about losing eyelashes.

It sounds so petty to mourn eyelashes when I'm just thrilled to be alive and past all the treatment. However we all have those little things that make you feel like a girl.  Now I have no breasts and my other girl parts are feeling pretty dried up due to Tamoxifen I would love to have my eyelashes back.

Thanks for your great post

 

AnnaB

I love your solution.  You may as well have some fun with the wig thing. I bought a traditional wig around $350.00.  After my hair fell out wearing a wig was so uncomfortable.  So mostly I didn't wear anything. 

I'm 18months post treatment now and have lost most of my chemo curls.  Prior to treatment I had, even if I say so myself, fantastic thick eyelashes.  These have not come back and my eyebrows are very grey and thin.  Somehow I just didnt' think about losing eyelashes.

It sounds so petty to mourn eyelashes when I'm just thrilled to be alive and past all the treatment. However we all have those little things that make you feel like a girl.  Now I have no breasts and my other girl parts are feeling pretty dried up due to Tamoxifen I would love to have my eyelashes back.

Thanks for your great post

 

Daphne Violet

Thanks for yours! I know just what you mean about the eyelashes and eyebrows - mine are much thinner too. Sometimes it just feels so cruel and such a stunning attack on our femininity - breasts, early menopause, hair and skin. Ironic too that the Tamoxifen causes such fuzzy jowls! Why can't that hair have grown back as brows and lashes instead?

Anyhoo! Stay well x.