Out of the blue a breakdown

fairydust

@Brenda5 I didnt know you could catch tearfulness from reading a post on the computer. Well it has happened to me to. Turned up to a meditation class in the city ..well cancelled abruptly no warning tutor sick..these things happen...I was offered  a coffee sipped it alone and then burst into tears. I then met up with my son in the city talking about different things lot of problems at the moment ..you guessed it burst into tears....Husband came to give me a lift home( Cant drive yet) you guessed it burst into tears. My counsellor who I havent seen for a year has gone on a long holiday wont be back for a while ....my hankie is quiet soggy now....maybe tomorrow will be better.

viking1

@Brenda5 Sorry you are having these sad spells ... pretty sure we all will have them but doesn't diminish your feelings xx I am new to horse riding (and cancer!). Just had my lumpectomy last Fri. I don't know if you get groupon, coupon, living socials over there? I get my trail rides of 1hr for 35.00.  I have one left ... wonder when i can use it! Late to horses ... just love them and a nice cuddle. I tried to trot last time. Scary! Nothing like an animal for warmth and love. Hope you are on horseback soon!xx

onemargie

Hi there Brenda I have lost my shit many times since I finished chemo in October don't worry you are obviously not alone. I think what it is is we all hold our shit together and find the inner strength we need to get through the surgery and treatment and then all of a sudden feel very vulnerable, I know I did even though I felt like shit I felt the chemo was protecting me. And then treatment stops and in my case as I was triple negative no meds either to help me from recurrence so felt like what the fuck do I do now! Its certainly helped keeping busy and being back at work. As soon I we get back on our feet financially you woman are going on that horse ride..... Ill be giving you the money for that.... promise... I LOVE horse riding had one as a teenager and my daughter still has her horse dolly which we used to do the whole show thing with too and I loved being involved. Last time I went horse riding on the beach it was the best feeling, it was years ago but I just loved it and you will too Brenda. Margie  

Brenda5

You will @fairydust feel fine today, thats the odd part of it. I was fine too, both before that day and now since. It sort of scared me though that I could have a bad day like that out of the blue over virtually nothing at all. It terrifies me I am losing my mind and this chemo brain may never resolve itself. 
I had a successful shopping expedition yesterday and hubby bought me a new coat. Millars are having a great sale atm and my coat was down from $50 to $30. Wore it on the beach late in the afternoon and when a cold breeze blew up I was toasty warm. 
I live about 45min away from this resort which I stayed at once when I was a girl. They do cater to just a horse ride so I will look in to it. Anyone wanting to stay there, I can recommend. http://susanriver.com/

Seamaiden57

Dear Brenda5 It's perfectly fine to cry- good grief- let it out- we are not superwomen- and that's ok. And laugh at yourself when you forget things- l am in Chemo brain at the moment and l have a giggle when do perculiar things- Its fine- Be proud you have  come this far and take time out to be kind to yourself❤️

Tracey1967

Hi Brenda, it sounds all normal to me (and judging by the posts - everyone else). Cancer is something big to deal with. So the dam has to burst somewhere. I am glad you  a win with your hubby buying you a new coat. 
I myself am in peri-menopause and on tamoxifen - so I have 3 speeds;  SENSITIVE    NORMAL   IRRITABLE.